Kategoriearchiv: Reviews

Anubis, Amon & Jonas

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Bad Dragon’s Jason, Anubis & Amon

Vendor: Bad Dragon

From the clicks and searches on this little website, I can clearly see that we have passed the mid of Locktober. Every year, the hornier and more desperate for other ways and places of stimulation chaste guys get, the interest in anal toys increases dramatically. To give you some inspiration, let’s look at some naughty anthro dicks from Bad Dragon. From their shape, they are not what I would recommend absolute beginners (these Bad Dragons are). But if you are curious and have learned to voluntarily relax your sphincter, theses beasts have some undiscovered pleasures for your.

Construction

If you are new to anal toys, you want to only look for toys made out of platinum silicone. Unlike vinyl/ PVC or rubber which both can emit hazardous plasticizers, platinum silicone is a 100% body safe if body safe colors are being used (there are a couple companies from China which toys I would not put into me for that reason). Its super-smooth surface makes in not only easier to take up your ass but also makes it harder for bacteria to linger. Additionally, it is easy to clean. Theoretically you can autoclave it but it is sufficient to let the toys soak in hot water with dish soap, rinse, dry and spray sanitizer on it, making them perfect for group settings where they need to be cleaned quickly between partners. Because especially softer silicone creases easily, store it upright and not together with vinly or rubber toys. The plasticizers these materials emit will damage your silicone toys! Another potential cause for damage is silicone lube. The silicone oil inside the lube will first make the toy sticky and disintegrate it over time. Please stick to water or oil based lubes if you want to use your high quality toys for years to cum.

The Almost Useless Fin on Jason’s Base

Luckily, from the foundation all Bad Dragon toys are made out of platinum silicone with body-safe colors so you do not have to worry when using them. Besides being body safe for their user, the manufacturing properties of platinum silicone are essential for the iconic toys Bad Dragon creates. Unlike other materials insertables are made out off, silicon can render fine texture. It also comes in an extremely wide range of possible firmnesses from which Bad Dragon offers four: Extra-Soft (Shore 00-30), Soft (Shore A2), Medium (Shore A5) and Firm (Shore A8 which I would consider a still a medium firmness). The larger the toy, the firmer is will feel. While a tiny toy in extra-soft might be so floppy, you can hardly insert it, in XL it might just have the satisfying squish to gently penetrate your anus and fill your colon. On the other end of the spectrum, a small firm toy might be perfect for penetrating your sphincter into bliss while the XL is too rigid to go around the bends in your colon. Texture has a similar effect: The more texture, the more friction is there which can even lead to making it more difficult to relax your anus. So a similarly sized toy in same firmness with more texture will be harder to take.

So why add texture at all? There two major sources for stimulation sensations in your rectum (three if you have a prostate): The sense of pressure and the sense of friction. Pressure is done through increasing diameter, for example in taking a knot of a canine inspired toy. Friction is created through texture. That is why a veiny dick feels more stimulation than a smooth rod. Your anus is one of the body areas with the highest density of nerve endings which reacts to even subtle simulations. Because of this there is such a wide range of different toys with endless combinations of pressure and friction patterns. And every anus and every level of experience has their sweetspot of these combinations. Just buying the toy with the largest shaft-to-knot ration or the deepest texture will not be satisfying! Especially when you are starting out your anal journey or are warming up for a session, starting with something soft and thus enticing seduces the sphincter to open and prevents damages. Sometimes you might look for soft waves of stimulations while on other days you want a forceful knotting. This is the reason why most anal aficionados have a large and most of the time ever growing collection of toys because each toy scratches a specific itch only THAT toy can scratch.

The three-dimensional Aurora Coloration on Amon’s Shaft

Some are collectors for colors and coloring patterns. One of the material properties of silicone is that it takes on coloring so well. They are reproduced brightly and to not fade over time. But they can face into each others or create hard borders between them, be UV reactive or glow in the dark. Bad Dragon has mastered the art of colorations. It has happened that I have just bought a toys because it is pretty. Obviously, the color does not effect at all how the toy feels, except immersion when you are a furry and the coloring align with your fursona. But if you have a large selection of toys, are lying in the sling and have a craving for a specific toys, being able to identify it (under scene lighting!) to your top is a great feature.

Once you have defined the size, firmness and color of your toys, you can choose some add-ons. The most important ones are suction cups and their vac-u-lock hole called Dragon Mount. Especially when the toys gets larger, a firm stand is important so it does not move away when you are seducing your sphincter to open up. Especially when wanting to go deep, mounting the toy to a tile wall and backing onto it, might be the best way to take it. For this, either get a suction cup or a Dragon Mount to put on a vac-u-lock suction cup – or a fucking machine. Especially when you are playing with an partner who is stuffing you, I recommend the Dragon Mount because your partner can put a finger into it which makes guiding the toy more easily. Sadly, these accessories (if you are a bossy bottom, a subby top can also fall under this category) can only so much heavy lifting. The larger a toy gets, the heavier it becomes. Only a few very expensive heavy duty fuck machines can handle XL toys and a thumb can only support so much weight on its own. So for the largest toys, stick to the suction cup.

Anubis Shaft with Heavy Pattern Texutre

A bit controversial for me accessory is the cum tube. This is a tube leading to the tip of the toy’s glans with a syringe attached to it for shooting cum lube into you, creating the immersion of a cumshot. From my limited experience with friends’ toys, neither the shooting pressure nor the amount are really satisfactory, especially on larger toys. For this short-lived effect the cleaning effort increases massively because in order to prevent mould, the tube must be cleared of lube completely and dry before storing.

Playing Anubis

From the three toys reviewed today, Anubis is probably the most gentle one to take.

It starts out with a pointy tapering glans that has a glans rim for once having opening up your anus to pop in. The shaft bottom of the shaft is made out of a number of bulges both lateral and medial which very softly structure and gradually increase the diameter it. The top is a steep slope which it textured by shallow pattern inspired by ancient Egyptian art. The knot is formed by two evenly bulging, round spheres. While compared to other more realistic K9 toys this knot is a softer one, this is contradicted by the textured, similar texture to the one on top of the shaft. Anubis base are two thick and furry realistic anthro testicles which provide great grip inside yours or your top’s hands.

The Thick Balls Forming Anubis’s Base

Classifying Anubis is a bit hard. The soft bulges and steep tapering are ideal for gradually opening up the hole. Also, since after each section, it tapers to a considerably small diameter, creating both intense stretching sensations and resting points. Even if you cannot knot Anubis (for quite some time), the stretching sensation of the bulging shaft is already quite stimulating both getting in and out. However, the friction of the pattern will cause the sphincter to clench a bit. If you are a beginner and/ or are playing on your own, I would recommend getting it in soft so that the texture is easily compressed. In theory, Anubis is a good toy to get in extra-soft. But the distinct separation in separate sections through the intense tapering will make the toy bend and flop around, making it hard to control. If you are riding it and are not loose, it will bend away instead of popping in.

Anubis‘ Point Head for Easy Insertion

Due to the patterned areas and the bulges on the shaft, Anubis will probably be a good toy to use with a partner. Since every anus is different, different areas of it will react different to stimulations from different parts of Anubis. So having a top who can twist, apply more pressure of the different quadrants of the toy, maximizes the fun. So all things considered, if you are a locked boy and want to dive deeper into anal stimulation, getting a soft Anubis in a sensible size to be controlled by your keyholder might be the way to go.

Playing with Amon

I pondered quite a while which toys would come next in the intensity ranking of this review. Finally, I decided on Amon.

Amon’s Dull Head, Textured by a few Bumps

Compared to Anubis Amon’s glans is relatively dull with a pointy tip. If you maneuver this tiny tip into the hole for an intial opening up, it does not do much because there are two shallow bumps left and right of it making the glans even wider. While there is a bit of a glans drop on the top, the shallow bump in the transition to the shaft on the body and the two thick bulgey and textured veins left and right make it almost unnoticeable.

The bottom of the shaft is relatively easy. Divided by a smooth and shallow ventral groove two bulges stacked on top of each others for the top of the shaft. The bottom is crazy. Framed by the two veins running from the glans is a flat surface. Out of this plain flows an increasingly pointy ridge textured by shallow scales. This lead to an interesting bulging pattern: On the first bulge/ body, the diameter increases forward, while on the second bulge/ knot, the diameter increases backwards.

The entire toy sits on a round base with a wider diameter so there is no chance of accidentally swallowing it as a whole.

The Heavily Textured Bottom of Amon’s Shaft

It is a bit hard to tell whether Amon is better enjoyed along or with a partner. Amon is what I call a Janus toy. When you ride it alone, you feel “blunt” sensations of the bulging of the shaft. It feels a bit like a too blunt, maybe a bit cumbersome knotty toy which is a bit stubborn to take but none of the less horny. The stubborn resistance of the uneven stretch can actually be horny when you are greedy and open. It is most definitively not a toy to start with. A skilled partner can take advantage of the asymmetrically shaped shaft, using the ridges of the flat area to scratch the apex of the anus, press the buldge against the prostate and twist Amon to turn an easy slipping in into a tough pulling out. The asymmetry of the toy actually invited me to experiment a bit with the toy when playing on my own. Turning it 90° when riding Amon, transforms the sensation completely. When soft and even knots are starting to bore you, give Amon a go to switch up your stretching game!

Playing with Jonas

While Jonas’ glans tapers more steeply than Amon’s, it is rugged and heavily textured. In the hands of a top who just teases and twists it inside your anus, can make it clench. Especially the exposed bulges which feel like small wings left and right on the top can either intensely stimulate through flapping or grind your hole, depending on the firmness of the toy. The bottom of the glans it textured by a slightly wider but equally tall raising ventral groove which is textured by bumps.

Jason’s Rugged Glans

The glans is a prefix or rather a pretaste of the entire toy. Directly below the glans is the knot which is one single forward roundly sphere. But, it is heavily textured with scale like ridges. They are more shallow at the bottom and converge to a spikey tip at the top. Below the knot is a long neck as thick as the section below the wings of the glans. It is characterized by one final deep, jagged ridge in the middle.

The base is round and wide with two thin 5cm tall wing-like spikes raising up in a 45° angle. The fins/ horns/ spike leave raising out of the base are purely decorative. First, I thought they would be for clitoral stimulation or add some other benefits for front holes. But after lending it out to some FtM testees they could not figure out what they are for. They are cool design element, adding to the overall aquatic theme of the backstory of the toy. In theory, the add stimulation when knotting Jonas, caressing your ass cheeks or thighs, depending which hole you stuff it in. But since the knot is so intensely textured, it is hard to notice the added stimulation at all.

Jason’s Knot is Heavily Textured

Jonas is both a single or couple play toy. Since the texture is fairly evenly distributed, riding Jonas provides as much pleasure as having it stuffed into your ass. Turning Jason requires a bit of finess. Since the anus is not round but oval, turning the toy perpendicular can increase resistance or emphasis the scratching of the deeper texture on one side.

When ordering Jonas, I strongly suggest erring on the softer side of the spectrum. Jonas in medium will feel like an ordeal, in firm it will be excruciating. If you are into really intense texture play, a firm might make sense, but it will be far from a smooth ride. Especially the deep, jagged ridge on the neck below the knot will make it hard to pull out comfortably. If you are into it, give it a try. But for the rest, I recommend a soft or actually extra-soft. Since Jonas is so compact, it might actually be one of the few toys which work in extra-soft. Yes, it will be a bit top-heavy and might tip over. But since the neck below the knot is so thick, Jonas will probably stand up straight. Reducing the firmness to Shore 00-30 will decrease the intensity of the heavy texture drastically to an intense massage.

Chastity Harness

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Vendor: VAST

While this piece of gear is call “Chastity Harness”, it is also a nifty piece of bondage gear for rubberists. So even if chastity is not one of your kinks, give this review a read. You might find an interesting piece of gear nevertheless.

Before I start this review, a disclaimer: I have been involved early on in the design process of this gear piece. For the last couple of months, I have been wearing and giving feedback the Chastity Harness. The basis for this review is the prototype which has been modified over the months. While it should be like the final product, please excuse minor deviations.

The VAST Chastity Harness with the Codpiece Flap

As always on projects like this, my design work has been completely pro bono. I have neither been paid for my work nor getting paid for writing this review or profit from any sales.

Construction

The name “harness” is a bit misleading since this “waist harness” has actually a jockstrap configuration. The main body of this harness is the 38mm wide waist strap which comes in four different sizes, covering a wide range of body types from 70cm up to 119cm waists (roughly W28 to W47 if you American). The belt is closed with a lockable roller buckle which has a latex guiding loop. The male side of the belt features no less than 12 holes of the buckle for a finely adjusted fit. On both the top and bottom of the belts runs a line of Ø3.5mm holes which are 20mm apart. Using book screws you attach the thigh straps and other accessories to the main belt. If you are on the lower end of the waist circumference the belt can flop around a bit. Simply use one of the book screws to attach the belt end to the body. Since the buckle is locked, you are not going to take it off anytime soon anyway, or?

The chastity harness comes with two 20mm wide thigh straps. In order to assemble the Chastity Harness to your body, put the waist strap around on. Then attach the thigh straps about four or five holes left and right from the center using the book screws. For attachement on the rear you have two options and two possible configurations. Either you can use the a 20mm roller buckle attached to a small strap of Superior Latex or use redirectors through which you thread the strap and attach it to itself with the screws. The redirectors were my suggestion because if you use the belts, you have to fold the excess strap which for me disturbed the clean and sleek look. Since you have both options, give them a try and look what you like best! For attaching the buckle/ redirectors, you can either place them where your hips meet your ass cheeks for the jockstrap look. But you can also run them parallel to your tailbone to lock a butt plug in place. For this configuration, I actually recommend the roller buckles because it makes closing the straps easier once the toy is in place. Once assembled to fit your body, you can take this harness off like any other jockstrap plus opening the buckle up front.

The Kink3D Cobra Cage with the Strap Ring Attached to the Harness

To attach the chastity cage (or of you want are not into chastity also a not too thick cockring of course) to the harness, it comes with two pairs of slightly curved straps. The only have smooth latex on one side and bare Aramid on the other side. Being only half as thick as the other strap, the easily bend around the base ring of your chastity cage. Once bend around, attach them to the thigh straps using the screws again. The longer straps are for attaching it directly to the base ring or a cockring, the short ones are for attaching the Kink3D Strap ring.

A first (and hopefully not last) addition to the system is the Codpiece Pouch. In addition the codpiece flat itself, it comes with four short latex pieces with an attachment hole on side and the male side of the snap button on the other side and the corresponding book screws to attach it to the thigh straps. The codpiece flat is made out of 0.6mm latex. This makes the material thin enough to display a bit of chastity cage imprint.

All belts and connectors of the Chastity Harness are made out of VAST’s Superior Latex which is two layers of latex with a reinforcing layer of Aramid between them. Aramid is a fiber used for making ballistic body armor fabrics or sails so it can withstand a lot of force. These properties it lends the latex which you can now grab and pull without damaging it. On the codpiece flap, only the corners where the snap buttons sit are Aramid reinforced. All metal parts, including the snap buttons, are made out of stainless steel so the metal does not damage the latex. The female side of the book screws has a smooth domed head, the male has a slit for a screw driver. Depending if you prefer a rougher or sleeker look, put the smooth head on the outside.

The Codpiece Flap Showing Little Chastity Bulge since not being Worn on a Body

At the moment, it is only available in plain black Superior Latex. But since all gear is handcrafted in Dortmund, I assume you can ask for special colors. My personal with would be adding a – in my case – red contrast stripe to match my rubber harness. The codpiece flap I have already seen a version with a red stripe in the middle so I assume we will see some more colors soon.

Playing with the Chastity Harness

First, let’s talk about the chastity aspect. This harness is basically the gear head/ rubber fetishists alternative to the Mr S neoprene strap I reviewed two weeks ago. Once the base ring is connected to the harness, it is pulled closer to the body, keeping the cage upright. If the harness sits tightly, pulling your dick out is even harder than it is already with a correctly sized dick and base ring so it adds a bit of security.

Since the connecting loops are made out of a single layer of thin and soft latex, you can use your existing base ring. You might feel them a bit but due to the limited time you will be wearing the harness (more on that later), it will most likely not cause an issue. For added comfort, buy either a ring one size larger (with the harness tightly attached, this will not be a security risk) so it has a bit of wiggle room or one of the Strap rings if you own a Kink3D chastity cage which makes wearing the Chastity Harness a bit more comfortable. If you are going to wear the Chastity Harness on a more regular basis, I would recommend getting a dedicated ring anyway. This saves you taking out the screw driver every time you want to put the harness on.

The Locking Roller Buckle with the Guiding Loop and a Prototype of the D-ring Enclosing Strap

The locking of the waist belt is a nice psychological feature as it makes it impossible to take the harness off. Through this, the top has taken control over your cloths. But the a bit bulky buckle makes it a bit harder to wear under existing gear like rubber chaps. Only wear it under latex gear which you can carefully close in the front (like chaps with snap buttons). Chaps which are just being pulled up can get damaged by the lock or buckle if you are not extremely careful.

Getting the harness fitted for the initially takes a bit of time. When you are impatience like me, I highly recommend doing it together with a friend who can tightening the screws while it is on your body. Once it has been fitted, you can put it on like any other jockstrap with the small exception that you have to open and close the roller buckle since unlike cloth jockstraps it does not stretch to get over the hips.

Hitting the sweet spot between presence and bulkiness the “Chastity” Harness is a hot piece of gear for every more hardcore fetishist. It is the perfect solution for chaste boys who want to go out to a gear night not being naked and still proudly displaying their locked dick – either without any cover or through the imprint of the codpiece flap. Since chastity is only a nice kink of mine, I wore it most of the time with a cockring or without any at all. It was impossible to fit my Mister B Dougnut cockring under the straps but a thinner just round one does work. If you prefer larger cockrings, simply ask VAST for a longer strap when ordering.

The design and in combination with the Superior Latex material makes this rubber jockstrap (there, I finally said it!) a perfect piece of gear for every rubberiest and latex enthusiast. You know how some tops when fucking you tend to grab on your jockstrap’s waist band to pull you closer/ into position, destroying your fav jockstrap in the long run? Guess what, they can pull all they want with this motherfucker. It will not tear!

The Thigh Strap with the Redirector

During the feedback process I have asked for stainless steel D-rings for attaching a harness with downward facing straps (@VAST: maybe make a version of your Superior Latex bulldog harness with downward facing straps, pretty pretty please *puppy eyes*). But why only put them upfront? Put them on the sides, throw in a pair of scissor snap ended loops as handle and start plowing your bottom HARD. The side D-rings are also make this harness perfect for rubber bondage. Tied the bottom to a sling, to a bondage bed, tie his wrists to the side and start (ab)using him as you please. Along with this Chastity Harness, VAST release a Superior Harness strap-on harness (which can probably also be used for pumping and milking machines). If you are creative enough and can suffer through a bit of pressure of the toy base, I am certain with a bit of creativity and additional accessories from VAST you can combine these two gear pieces into one.

Keeping the different functionalities in mind, I am actually using the harness more during bondage scenes than keeping a chastity subs even more locked than he is anyway. Personally, the jockstrap has become a regular in my rubber gear setups, adding a codpiece or a signature piece to an otherwise smooth suit look. Sometimes for parties, I am combining this jockstrap with industrial gloves and waders, fucking with the rubber purists by covering everything but the torso except the junk.

Besides bondage, this harness is also a nifty piece of gear when you carry stuff around in a club. Regadless if you have a holster for your lube bottle or a „belt“ pouche for gloves an poppers. They are sit securely in the main strap. When I am wearing bulky yet easily compressable accessories like heavy rubber gloves or a face shield, I just tug them in. If you need to attach something with a loop like a gas mask strap or a flogger/ paddle, use one of the loop straps for the chastity cage to creat an anchor point for a carabineer.

When I first got this piece of gear, I was a bit annoyed how difficult it was to adjust and fit. But once fitted, it has become of the most used rubber accessories/ gear pieces I have worn – if I have not just fitted it to another testeee. It is a piece of gear a bit difficult to share, adding weight to the old saying: The sub owns the gear being put onto him, the top owns the toys being used on him.

The Chastity Harness with a Codpiece covering the Cage

One thing you have to be aware when buying this harness are the material properties of latex! First, latex does not breath. Quickly, moisture will form under it. Second, despite being made out of soft and flowing latex, it is not as flexible as cottom. Both factors combined will lead to chafing when wearing the gear over extended periods of time. Generally speaking, the Chastity Harness is a hot piece of gear for a session, for a party, for overnight but not made to lock a sub into it forever. Not only but especially when he needs a bit of ointment to wear his chastity cage. Natural oils will destroy latex. So if you are using ointments like milking grease or Albolene to keep the skin beneath the base ring smooth and the ring from chafing, do not put the harness on! If you have an issue with chafing (of the rubber loops), use silicone lube or silicone oil instead. If you have used any ointment containing mineral oils, paraffin or natural oils, clean the moisturized skin area and the base ring thoroughly before gearing up. If you wear it during fisting, you must never use oil based lubricants like Crisco or lubes infused with essential oils like clove (which you should never use for safety reasons anyway but that is a different conversation)! After having it worn, wash it – best with rubber detergent – and put silicone oil or talcum powder on it. Store it best loosely dangling from a hanger (do not let it touch other garments since getting silicone or talcum stains out of fabrings is a bitch) which will prevent creases.

Conclusion: Heavy duty piece of latex bondage – from simple chastity to elaborate setups
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Made for heavy duty place Initial fitting is a bit difficult and is best done with a friend VAST 179€ Chastity Harness

69€ Codpiece Pouch

199€ Strap-On Harness
Lockable
Wide range of play possibilities
Difficult to care for (like all latex)
Covers wide range of body types

Aluminum Paddle

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The Martyrius Atelier Aluminum Paddle next to a Spatula Acrylic Paddle

Vendor: Martyrius Atelier

Sometimes, being a toy reviewer can be a bit of a sad profession. Today, I wanted to review a spatula shaped acrylic paddle I bought from an US marker last year. While preparing for the review, I learned that he has a terminal illness and stopped making toys. So instead of writing about a toy I can only tell you that you cannot get it anymore, I will review next week’s toy today.

Construction

As the name of the toy says, it is made out of a single piece of milled aluminum. At 4cm width it is almost more a blade than a paddle. The overall length of the toy is 42cm, from which the top 27cm are the hitting surface which then tapers towards a grip. At the bottom of the grip is a hole through which you can thread a wrist loop though it does not come with one. With a material thickness of 1cm the paddle weights a hefty 360g.

Profile of the 10mm Thick Aluminum Paddle with the Chevron Grooves

The Aluminum paddle has to two different sides. One is smooth, the other is textured by ten 3mm deep and 5mm wide chevron-shaped grooves. The top three chevrons go through the entire material thickness except a 10mm wide border. In addition to these “vents” (more on that later), there are thee Ø7mm holes 5,5cm apart on the lower part of the body.

There are several colors to choose from: Either solid black and red or elaborate splash colorations. Weirdly, they do not offer an unpainted silver version.

Playing with the Aluminum Paddle

For various reasons, the Aluminum Paddle is not for beginners. It is delicate toy which needs careful handling in order to damage the bottom or the top!

First, there is the handling. Due to the nature of the material, it is far from balanced. Otherwise there would need to be a chunk of metal at the end of the grip. This means, you need a bit of power to stabilize the paddle when swinging; it is a not a toy you can let “fall down” onto a bottom. It will not develop momentum, so you have to put energy into each blow since it will not swing back. Because of this, it will tire out your wrist.

The Grip Section of the Aluminum Paddle

Second, you need to strike carefully. Due to the firmness and weight of the toy, it can cause serious harm! Only use it on well padded body areas like the middle of the ass or the thighs. The calfs with their complex tibula and fibula bones is on most subs a too frail body area. Personally, I would not recommend testing how thick and well padding their muscle padding it. The narrow shape of the toy would theoretically make it perfect for bastinado or hand palm hitting. But since the small and thin bones sit directly below the skin, you can only tap them. Hard blows will lead to bone fractures or worse! So please be sensible when using these toys or resort to – almost equally severe – leather ones.

Since the aluminum is so stiff and heavy, tapping with the toy does not create many sensations. Yes, there is a light tapping sensation (who would have guessed). But to envoke any reaction beyond that, you really have to put force into it which can be dangerous (see above).

But if you have the wrist and arm strength to really put force behind your blows onto a sub’s ass, you can unleash mayhem on him! Being so narrow, the force and thus pain is narrowly focused. Even more when you use the textured side. The chevron shaped grooves allow the air to escape so it cannot form a – albeit small – dampening cushion. In addition to that, the impact energy is focused on the chevron shaped areas between the grooves. If you move to paddle laterally while hitting, there is also a bit abrasive sensation from the crisp yet not sharp edges.

The Smooth Side of the Aluminum Paddle with the Air Vents which Reduces the Air Cushion

The smooth side is a bit softer since it distributes the impact energy more evenly. But the holes and the cut through chevrons on top allow most trapped air between the body and the paddle to escape easily. For tapping with the tip, I recommend using that side because targeting is easier.

One of the great feats of aluminum is that it easily takes on temperature. So if you want to offer your sub an unexpected sensation, either cool it with ice or cooling packs or heat it over a flame. Just be a bit careful. Since the paddle has so much mass, it can absorb a lot of temperature energy so it can get very cool which will make it stick to the skin or very hot.

This also applies to cleaning. If you use this toy with multiple partners, the Aluminum Paddle is easy to clean. Being made out of metal, sanitizer, bleach or heat does not do the material any harm. If you want to use bleach, use it as an inconspicuous place to see if it alters the color.

Conclusion: Intense and heavy paddle for tops who can handle hefty toys.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Virtually indestructible Does not develop momentum, tires the wrist Martyrius Atelier 99€ (solid color)

129€ (multi color)
Easy to clean
Intense impact sensation with little energgy
Needs to be handle carefully on not heavily padded boy areas

Ultimate Humbler

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The Ultimate Humbler with the Ball Stretching Ring & Crusher Plate

Vendor: Regulation

Construction

This humbler is made out of 35mm tall and 23mm wide bar made out of stainless steel. The corners and sides are rounded and there are no visible weldseams or sharp edges on the body of the toy. In the center is a 100mm long straight part onto which 180mm long, slightly curved wings are attached. In the center section, there is 40mm wide opening. On one side, the wall slightly bulges to the side, on the other side there is bulged hatch, creating a 35mm deep opening. The hatch’s hinge is slightly recessed which prevents skin getting caught. It is closed using a hex screw on top and a locking pin for a padlock with a tiny shackle in the bottom.

Left and right of the hole of the balls two 140mm long M6 threaded rods are welded. To smooth the sharp ends of the thread each rod comes with a PVC cap. But the sit so loosely that the fall off easily when the bottom moves a lot. That’s why I only have one left.

The Spiky Side of the Crusher Plate

Onto these rods two accessories can added. First, there is what looks like a 14mm tall ball stretcher ring with an internal diameter of 34mm. It is hinged and is also closed by a hex screw. If you turn the milled ring nuts below the wings which ride on the threaded rods, you can stretch the balls even further. If you want to add even more painful stimulation, the Ultimate Humbler comes with a round plate with surprisingly sharp pins which can be pressed against the ball using wing nuts. For a bist softer sensation, use the back side of the crusher plate.

Welded at both ends of the bar are eyelets with a diameter of 11mm. The weldseam is only at the top of the eyelet and rather short so it looks a bit frail. However, despite heavy play and putting a lot of draft on it, it did not fail.

There Eyelets on both Sides

Despite being made out of stainless steel sheet which has been bend into shape, the Ultimate Humbler with all attachments weights 1,250g.

Playing with the Ultimate Humbler

The Ultimate Humbler addresses one of the most annoying things about humblers in general: Putting it onto the ball. Traditional humblers are two pieces of wood with a small recess in the middle and tightening screws at the end. In the process either a ball slips or you catch scrotum skin between the two pieces. With this toy, you can easily and comfortably grab the balls, push them into the opening, close the hatch and are done with it. Now comes the tricky part: Due to the long threaded rods this humbler is a bit bulky so pulling the humbler behind the legs, twisting it by 90° and locking it behind the ass can be difficult. The threaded rods also limit the position the sub can be in: Standing or doggy position are as easy as the humbler allows it to be. Kneeeling can already be difficult and laying on the back is impossible.

The Hatch which locks the Ultimate Humbler onto the Sub’s Balls

This was not a big issue for me because the most fun I had with the Ultimate Humbler was when I incorporated it into more complex bondage setups while he could still move. Connecting the humbler to other restraints using the eyelets is great for even more stressful bondage than the humbler will force the sub into by itself. With a bit of rope or tension cords (use shackles if the eyelets are too small) you can build interaction loops where creating ease at one position builds stress at another point.

These kind of feedback loops are even more fun when playing with the pressure plate. Increasing the pressure will make the bottom squirm and move which leads to more tugging. The smooth side works a little bit better in combination with the stretching accessory because the wide rim of the stretcher provides more surface to flatten the balls against. Without it, compressing the scrotum against the rim of the balls hole can be an uncomfortable pain. The spiky side works equally will with or without the stretcher. But you have to be careful when using it. The spikes are really pointy and sharp! With enough pressure they can break the skin.

Weighing over a kilogram, just locking the Ultimate Humbler onto a standing sub’s balls can be the origin of intense fun play. First it dangles between his legs like a yoke, tugging on this balls. Then add some more weights or connect the eyelets to his feet. Finally, induce some pain either through caning or electro or wax whatever you like. As soon as he starts to move, the tugging effect will intensify. Just make sure he cannot move too much because thrashing ones thighs into the thread rods is no fun pain.

The Ultimate Humbler completely Assembled

While this is a great albeit bulky toy for heavy CBT enthusiast, it is sadly only made for a specific group of subs. He needs balls which are both hanging extreme low hangers and are big yet not too meaty. If you cannot fit the ball comfortably in a 40mm tall ball stretcher, they will be too tight. Due to the leverage and movement of the stretcher barely covering the 35mm height is not enough. Next, if his balls are too small, they will simply slip through. You can compensate for this a bit, if the balls hang low enough to fit into the stretcher accessory right away. But his sack must not be too meaty because otherwise it will not fit into the humbler’s opening or the stretcher accessory at all. In the past months, I had several subs who were so desperate to play with this toy but their physiology was not simply made for it.

So, if you are into heavy CBT, I recommend trying if you can fit into the toy, because it offers great play possibilities. But it is sadly not made for everyone.

Conclusion: Versatile yet very heavy humbler for guys with extreme low hangers into heavy CBT and complex bondage.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Various play possibilities Only made for big, not too meaty low hangers Regulation £109.95
Additional Bondage Points
Lockabel
Sturdy Heavy
Perpendicular threaded rods are cumbersome

Kink3D Strap Ring

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The Kink3D Strap Ring Base Ring

Vendor: Kink3D

Hey guys! It’s been a while! What I had planed to be a shortish early summer break was extended due to daytime work stress and other shit. But now that Locktober is approaching and some of you will be attending Folsom street fair in San Francisco next week where a lot of kink purchase will be made, I decided today would be a good time trying to come back.

Construction

The Strap Ring is a special feature version of the base ring you need to lock your Kink3D Cobra or Viper chastity cage onto your body. Left and right of the lock loops have been added through which belts can be threaded. The loops have a width of 27.5mm and a clearing of 8mm so one inch wide belts fit easily.  The ring is available in all the diameter sizes and ring styles – XD for smaller & tighter balls, curved for meaty low hangers – like the standard ring and comes either in black or white.

The Strap Ring Attached to a Viper

This version of the base ring was launched together with a 35mm wide neoprene waist straps made by Mr S in their traditional black edges/ color middle part design in their seven most popular colors to match their iconic neoprene accessories like harnesses. It comes in three sizes covering a range of 28’’ – 46’’ waists. The length can be adjusted with snap buttons either on both ends or at the back.

Playing with the Kink3D Strap Ring

Especially when you are wearing a larger cage or have massive or low hanging balls which require a larger gap between the cage and the base ring, the entire cage can shift forward. By doing so, it creates a compact and heavy package away from the body which can feel uncomfortable, can get momentum when moving or chafing which makes wearing the cage 24/7 more difficult. The new base ring together with the strap, pulls the locked junk towards the body. Sitting closer to the body, both its footprint and leverage/ momentum is minimized. This especially good when you wear looser underwear or do sports which include running or cycling. Despite the large mechanical forces between the legs when moving them quickly, the cage securely stays in place.

The Mr S Neoprene Strap around the Kink3D Viper

The level of security and fit under these circumstances surprised me since neoprene is so soft and stretchy. These properties also makes the strap is almost unnoticeable. If you adjust it carefully, it sits right below your belt on your hips. At the front, it has to sit lower in order for the belt not to press the lock into your groin. The comfortable softness and stretchiness comes at a small price: Serious morning wood will push the cage forward and drag the strap along.

The combination of strap and cage itself, is also a sexy look. Depending on the location, just wearing the combo, can be a look in itself. For upcoming outdoor events especially in San Francisco where you can get away with it, the strap can work as an anchor point for belt pouches. Just don’t over load them! As said before, neoprene is stretchty and will sag when weighted too much.

One small drawback has the neoprene strap: The end of the strap is finished with a metal fitting. Since the strap is 35mm wide, it takes a bit of fiddling to get that end through the 27.5mm wide loops. Once the ends have been pushed through, the strap sits securely inside the loops on the base ring.

The Strap Ring used as an Anchor Point for Mr S Harnesses, left with a Standard Carabiner, right with a Scissor Snap

A probably unintended but nifty use case is using the Strap Ring as a cockring anchoring point for harnesses with downward straps like the Mr S Trojan leather harness or Neoprene Crossbow harness. There used to be straps to put around cockrings to anchor these harnesses onto something when you wear gear without belt loops like sportswear or preferred a tighter V pointing straight to your junk. But they vanished some time ago. You can substitute these straps by using the Strap Ring as a cockring and snap the harness’ carabiners into the loops. If you want to do this, I highly recommend getting an at least one size larger ringer than you would get for locking your dick. Generally, a chastity cage base ring is a bit smaller than a cockring you wear for fucking all night long. Clipping your harness into the Strap Ring works best when the harness has scissor snap hooks on the end. Mr S used to only work with these kind of carabiners. A couple of years ago they started using standard carabineres where the lever can making opening a bit tricky.

Conclusion: Perfect combo to keep your massive chastity package close to your body.  
Pro Cons Where to get Price  
Solution to keep even the largest and heaviest chastity packages close to the body Strap ends are a bit too wide to thread easily through the loops Strap Ring $75
Mr S Neoprene Strap $30
Perfect for pairing with groin strap harnesses

Wonder

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The Friendly Toys Wonder 36

Vendor: Friendly Toys

Following the Good Friday review, I wanted to go on hiatus because until mid-June I have something going on each weekend so writing the reviews would be extra-stressful. But last Thursday, my dear friend Westmind (BSKY/ IG) sent me a picture of a pile of toys asking me if I knew the ripped toy in the middle. Of course, I immediately identified it was the Friendly Toy Wonder and went to ToyTorture.com to look up the link to the review. But there was none. Apparently, I took pictures of the toy in November but forgot to write the actual review. So with my biggest apologies, I dedicate this review to Westmind, hoping it will him help make up his mind regarding this toy!

Construction

At between 350mm and 400mm insertable length, the Wonder is clearly a depth toy. The basic shape of the toy is a cone-shaped core onto which increasingly deeper and wider fins are attached on the wide side of the oval. The fins of each level converge on the narrow side, texturing it with shallow ribs. On top of the body sits an oval cone-shaped tip, giving the Wonder the appearance of an sleek upscale Christmas decoration item. Between the lowest fin and the base is a big gape so you can comfortably knot the toy. The base is considerably larger than the largest diameter so there is little chance of swallowing the toy completely. Its thickness is nice for good ergonomics when holding it as a top. In the middle is a vac-u-lock hole so you can either attach the Wonder to a grip or fuck machine or use it as a guiding hole for your thumb when topping a fistee with it.

The Friendly Toys Pig Logo on the Wonder’s Sturdy Base

Like every anal toy start up in the last 10 years, Friendly Toys makes their sculptures out of platinum silicone. This makes them 100% body safe and easy to clean. Its super smooth surface facilitates easy insertion – if you stick to water or oil based lubes. Sadly, the silicone oil in silicone lube disintegrates the surface of silicone toys, making them sticky and destroying them over time. So stay away from silicone lube when playing with silicone toys. After play, silicone can be cleaned easily by letting the toy soak in warm soap water, let dry and finally spray sanitizer on the toy.

While platinum silicone can come in various firmness degrees, Friendly Toy only uses Shore 00-30 which is quite soft. Silicone can also be easily colored. At the moment, Friendly Toys offers only solid colors and no patterns like marbles or fades. You can choose between a hot pink, bright orange, slightly greenish yellow, purplish blue, deep teal and classic black.

The Wonder comes in three sizes with the name corresponding to the maximum diameter in inch: The 32 with 350mm insertable length and 80mm diameter, 36 at 380/90mm which I have in my toy collection and the 40 at 400/100 which is currently the largest model. There was chatter on Bluesky on an even larger Wonder 42 being in development which would probably be around 430/11. But due to the deep fins, the Wonder 40 is already difficult enough to get out of the mold. So no idea if they will ever manage that. And to be frank, the Wonder 38, let alone the Wonder 40 is already large enough because…

The Perfectly Tapering Tip on the Wonder

Playing with Wonder

… is a toy for really experienced bottoms with LOOSE holes. While the slope of the tip has the steepness sweetspot for easily opening up the anus, so the toy locks easily in place, even the shallower fins on top are already what I consider intense texture. Their plopping-in sensation is already quite strong, stimulating the anus intensely, leading to some tenseness. And it gets only more and more extreme as you ride down to toy.

In order the ride the toy, you need loads of lube as the surface area is HUGE. Be prepared to spend almost half a bottle of lube to get Wonder slick and slippery.

The final drawback is its ergonomics. The core is relatively small compared to the large mass being attached to it. This in combination with the length and the soft material, makes the Wonder hard to control. When putting it on the ground and squatting over it, it takes some coordination for the toy not to bend away. Once you have taken about one quarter of the toy, these worries melt away and leave pure bliss!

The Increasingly Deeper Fins on Wonder’s Body

If you are open & loose to take a heavily textured toy deep, the Wonder is a must buy! No toy massages the anus lips, the prostate and the second sphincter more rhythmically than the Wonder! Once you have started taking it deep, the genius of the design starts to shine. The steeply tapering tip is sturdy and stiff enough to open up the second sphincter. If a top operates the toy, through twisting the oval shape can actually help this sphincter to open up. Due to texture below the tip being a bit less intense, the second hole does not instantly get overstimulated while the deeper texture down the shaft will put the anus into overdrive already. Though do not be mistaken: The Wonder is NOT a depth training toy! Your second hole needs to be desensitized and trained in order to let the Wonder in with more or probably less ease.

Ususally I say, buy the toy for the hole you want to have not the hole you have. But for the Wonder, I actually recommend starting with the smallest size and eventually work your way up. The 32 is easier to control and easier to take deep while offering plenty of fun even for pro holes. Especially when you tend towards more aggressive, high intensity/ velocity play, the shorter, easier to control toy is a bit more fun. While I do not regret choosing the 36 at Dore Alley last year (the 40 was not release back then), I sometimes wish I would have gotten the 32 which I might have knotted already.

The Vac-U-Lock Hole in the Bottom of Wonder’s Base

If you cannot handle depth at all, take a look at Friendly Toys’ Bloomer which is basically the fins of the Wonder only in short. While looking alike, I assume the ergonomics will be very different. Being shorter, the toy will be considerably blunter, putting more stress on the anus. Maybe, one day I will review these toy too.

Where to buy?

The Wonder, like all Friendly Toys, are sold directly through their website. All three sizes are around one ballpark pricewise with the Wonder 32 starting at 138.95€ and the Wonder 40 only costing 32€ more.

Pain Sticks

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Please excuse the picture quality. I have shot these  in my hotel room with using a small camera and having no proper graphics program on my tablet. So this is raw made in Berlin 😉

Vendor: McHurt

Especially in the run up to events in Berlin like BLF Easter or Folsom Europe, I get many messages asking what my secret tips for kinky shopping in Berlin are. Which stores, away from the gayborhood and Blackstyle I can recommend. On the top of my list is always McHurt, the first ever BDSM store I visited (the butterfly clamps I have bought on this visit over 15 years ago are still in use in my playroom!). Getting there is a bit of a journey, being located directly on the U6 stop Alt-Tempelhof. But it is very much worth it! They have the largest selection of specialized impact toys in the world, interesting bondage gear and fun little toys. While they have an online store, it onl reflects a fraction of their assortment. For example, the pain sticks I am reviewing here, are only available in store.

The McHurt Pain Sticks in the two Versions: Smooth and with the Sphere on the End

Construction

The basis of both toys are 1.5mm diameter stiff round stainless steel wire which are 200mm long. The lower quarter of the wire is covered in PVC shrinking tube forming a grip section. It is about three times are thick as the fire and a bit more anti-skid than the bare metal wire. Even holding the toy just between your finger tips with sweaty hands has a somewhat secure grip.

The tip of the two toys is what sets them apart: One of them is just the deburred and slightly smoothed wire, the other ends in a 8mm diameter stainless steel sphere.

Playing with the Pain Sticks

You probably already have guessed it from the construction, they are very similar to the Carbon Fiber Pain Sticks from Mr S but also quite different. Unlike the Carbin Fiber sticks which as best snapped against the body, grab the bottom of the grip section between your thumb, index and middle finger and hit using your wrist like you would do with a paddle. You can snap with these sticks. The snapping actually feels more intense since the the rod is thinner and thus more foucced. Also the metal is stiffer and has no bounce like the carbon. But, such a thin piece of metal wire can easily be bend out of shape. So expect your stright wires soon to feature a kink abot the gripping section.

The Two different Ends of the McHurt Pain Stick

The stiffness compensates the lower leverage of the shorter length and lower mass since they are incredible light. Hitting the same stop twice, fells light lightnins. Especially when hitting sensistive areas like the glans or the balls. Please be careful when hitting the balls! Because of the laser focus of the kinetic energy being transfered onto the body, hitting the epididymis can lead to serious injuries! If a dragging pain lingers for more than a couple of minutes, go to the ER! While the the smooth wire is pure sting, the one with the sphere on top has a little bit of extremel focussed thud. Getting hit by it creates an interesting sensation: First there is a sharp, focussed sting which then progresses to go deeper as thud.

The smallness makes the Pain Sticks good for hitting small and nimble areas you cannot target with larger toys. One friend of mine is using them to strike fear into his sub’s eyes when he did something wrong and is then hitting the fingers or toes of him. Again, caution is advised since the small bones in these body areas also break easily and you transmit a lot of force.

The PVC Grip

Since both sticks are made out of metal, they conduct electricity well. You can connect them to your e-stim power box using a pole clamp. Of course you will need a second pole for that which could either be a conductive loop, an anal or penis plug, a simple pad electrode or if your are extra devious, another of those sticks. Having wires danngling around is a bit annoying, but the feedback the sub is getting when such low mass, small area poles hit his skin, is best entertainment for any true sadist – and frankly requires a devote masochist. Like with every e-stim, you must ensure that the currency is not running over the chest! So hitting both nipples simultaneously is not possible! If you want to err at the side of caution, play below the waist.

The Kink the Pain Stick Gets after a Couple of Snaps

Some people who see mental toys instantly think off temperature play. These two toys are so so for it. Having little mass and being made out of a well temperature conducting material, they cannot contain temeratures for a long time. If you put them into ice water, they usually get the surrounding air’s temperatur pretty quickly. If you get heat them, the cool quickly. If you heat them too much, the entire rod will get hot and the PVC starts to warm up which is there point where you should stop right away!

Conclusion: Inexpensive, nasty impact toy.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Two versions mit distinct sensations … but takes a time to master properly & safely McHurt but only available in store Plain version: 5€
Inexpensive
Small & nimble Will bend out of shape when snapping Sphere Version: 6€
Easy to handle…

C-Twister

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The Organotoy C-Twister, the lovechild of a stallion and a unicorn

Vendor: Organotoy

Construction

The origin story of Organotoy is very similar to the one of SquarePeg: Olli, an anal aficionado being disappointed by the toys offered which neither had the quality nor the design to scratch his itches. His main concerns were the dangerous plasticizers which PVC and rubber toys emit (we probably all remember the acrid stink the first cheap toys we bought as young gays had) and which were absorbed by the rectum’s mucosa fucking at best “just” with the hormonal system, causing cancer at worst. His material of choice – platinum silicon – did not have these issues. It is in fact 100% body safe. Its supersmooth surface does not only keep bacteria from lingering but lets the toy also slide in more easily. To keep it gliding and nice for years (and actually decades to come), silicone toys must only be used with water or oil based lubes. The silicone oil in silicone lube solvated the surfaces, makes it sticky and will disintegrate the toy over time. In order to keep silicone toys in top shape, clean them after play (and between partners): Throw them in warm soap water (or do what I do and take a bath with them), rinse the lube and soap water off, let dry and spray sanitizer on them. Ready to go!

The Deep Suction Cup inside the Easy to Grip Base

Silicone is also the material of choice for interesting shapes and designs. It can recreate fine details and complex shapes. Since every toys needs to be poured by hand, they are significantly more expensive than mass-produced PVC or rubber toys. But since silicone takes on color particles easily, you can individualize the toys easily. Organotoy offers 45 different colors, some with effects like glow in the dark, UV reaction or glitter. The colors can be ordered in solid, fades or marbles from delicate to bold spots. If that is not enough, you can order custom airbrush designs like I had done on the first Sit-Plug I designed for my BF. Silicone also comes in a wide range of firmness degrees. As a standard Organotoy covers the standard from a squishy Shore 00-30, a true medium Shore A5 and rather firm Shore A10 (which is a bit firmer than the Bad Dragon firm). If you want any softer or really HARD, you can always ask them for a custom firmness.

One nice aspect of CAD developing and 3D printing of the molds which Organotoy is doing is that toy designs can be easily scaled. So the C-Twister is available from a tiny XS to a massive XL. So interesting and stimulating toy designs are not being gatekept for fist sluts but are available to (almost) every experience level.

The heavily Texture Glans sits at a 45° Angel on the Shaft

Playing with C-Twister

I intentionally write “almost” because despite being made in tiny sizes this toy is not made for anal play out of the box. Organotoy called the design inspiration equally equine and unicorn. Even without knowing this, when I first saw the design, I though “interesting flared horse dick.” The toy starts out with a round glans which is sitting on a 45° angel on the shaft. Starting from a small urethra in the middle it is formed by a thick strand in spiral. Especially in my light brown marble coloration it looks like a sticky bun (in related news: check out my socials and search for #Mohnday). On the last layer of the spiral the strand turns into a rope, adding a helix texture to it.

The body is one spike cone of a rope helix with increasing thread thickness. Lateral grooves imitate the texture of hemp bondage rope. Over the length of the shaft the helix has four twists, giving is the body ample texture.

The shaft sits onto of a thick and wide base which takes inspiration from the pouch a horse’s dick rests in. It is large enough to no swallow the toy by accident and gives the toy a sturdy stand. The entire base is one big suction cup so you can either mount it on the floor or on a tiled wall to fuck yourself with it.

The Helix Shaped and Groove Textured Shaft

In order to do so, you need to pre-stretch your sphincter (and depending on the toys size and your ambition your second one too) well. Due to the glans sitting in a 45° angel, the top of the dildo is dull, wide and textured – all factors which hinder your anus to relax. There is no easy entry, no direction you can twist the toy for a more nimble or anatomically welcoming configuration. You can either take the C-Twister or you cannot.

But, if you are experienced and well stretched and enjoy texture, the C-Twister is pure bliss. The complex shape and delicate lateral texture stimulate the many nerve endings inside your rectum intensely. You can really tell, that the toy was designed by someone who knows how the anatomy and nerve endings in your butt work. Both shape and the texture covering it are prominent enough for maximum stimulation yet not so deep that they create too much friction when pushing it. When sitting down on the toy, you can really feel it sucking itself into the rectum, like a screw being drilled into the threaded hole. While the glans drop is intense with a real significant “plop” when pushing it, the almost vertical, textured slop on top of the glans was made to attack the prostate.

The Massive and Textured Glans Drop on Top of the Glans

The C-Twister is a toy which can be enjoyed thoroughly alone. Personally, I have mounted it on a yoga block so I could twist and turn it myself when riding it. But this fun is outshined when a top is operating the toy for you. Pushing the toy in, turning it clockwise, has an almost hypnotic vortex effect. The ass lips are just flying over the shallow texture, sucking the toy in. If you are REALLY stretched and/ or have a mean fister, he will turn the toy counter clockwise, adding resistance and an even more intense massage of the texture. The welts forming the base allow for a good and somewhat secure grip, even with lubey hands. So the C-Twister can comfortably and demandingly be operated.

Where to buy?

Organotoy does not have whole sellers so you have to order the toy from their website. For a textured toy like the C-Twister this also my recommendation because then you get it exactly in the firmness your hole needs and the design your playroom aesthetic desires. The XS starts are an inexpensive 45.99€ and goes up all the way to 275.99€ for the MASSIVE XL. Mine is an L which is plenty of toy and fun for a hole that can significantly larger yet less textured toys. So don’t let your eyes become too greedy with this intensely textured toy and maybe for a smaller size you usually would.

HotKinkyJo Bulge Ball & Traffic Cone

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The MHT Traffic Cone and HotKinkyJo Bulge Ball

Vendor: Mr Hankey’s Toys

When I review anal toys, they are usually elaborately shaped and delicately textured silicone sculptures. Their complex designs are the result of extensive research and frankly trail and error until the toy stimulates the nerve ending rich body regions like the anus and the prostate both inside the rectum and outside on the perineum just RIGHT. But as fun as these toys are, they come with two challenges:

  1. The more textured and rugged a toy is, the harder it is to take. Even in smaller versions which size are close to an average dick, it takes considerably time, pre-stretching and training to take these toys stress- or worse pain free.
  2. In order to get the maximum stimulation out of a toy, it needs to his the fun knobs in the nether regions just right. So when playing with complex toys, it takes some dexterity or even a second player to twist the toys just RIGHT when inserting it.

Because of this, I sometimes get questions asking for reviews of simple, matter of fact toys. And here are two of them! This will be a relatively short review, because their focussed simplicity limits what can be said about them.

Construction

The Vac-U-Lock Hole Inside the Buldge Ball’s Base. You could get that hole also for the Traffic Cone but that would only make Sense in the Smaller Sizes

Like most toy manufacturer founded in the middle of the last decade, Mr Hankey’s Toys only makes toys out of platinum silicone due to the manufacturing process. Previously, most anal toys were made out of rubber and PVC. In order to get an acceptable avarage cost degression, they had to be made in large numbers on an industrial scale. So there were high entry barriers into the market. With platinum silicone toys, once you have made the mold, each toys needs to be pured by hand. This of courses increases the price because every toys has to be made individually. But this opened the market for what silicone toys are famous for: That each toy can be customized.

Silicone toys quickly became famous their beautiful coloration. The material easily takes on color pigmants which can also have special effects like glow in the dark or being UV active. It also allows for elaborate coloration patterns like the marbles MHT offers for $39.95. Another customizing option MHT offers is adding a vac-u-lock hole to connect their toys to a wide range of accessories like grips and fuck machines or giving the top in front of your hole an anchoring point for his thumb to control the toy more easily. For just $5.95 it is a small premium I always advice spending! It makes handling the toy so much easier.

The Nicely Tapering Tip of the Traffic Cone

While PVC and rubber ususally are quite firm, platinum silicone comes in a wide range of firmness degrees from too soft to use to very firm. From this range MHT currently offers four degrees: 40% which according to their website is about 40% erectness of a human penis. Despite the trend towards softer toys, I can only recommend this for really girthy toys (especially knotty) and not too long toys. Otherwise the toy gets too hard to handle and flop around. Though it could work for the Bulge Ball when you use it with a partner. Accordingly 75% is firm like a ¾ firm dick and the sweet spot between ergonomics and if you like a soft and gentle massage. Med Firmness should be as hard as a fully erect dick (though I have been fucked by harder ones, believe me…) which makes all texture more noticeable and the toy less bendy which is important when you want to take it deep! Last year MHT added an Extra Firm option which is good if you want to put pressure on the prostate for milking.

If these arguments did not convince you to pay the premium for the more expensive material and manufacturing of silicone toys, hopefully this will: Both PVC and rubber emit plasticizers which for example can fuck with your hormones or be carcinogenic and are greedly absorbed directly into your bloodstream through your rectum’s mucosal. Platinum silicone on the other hand is a 100% body safe (silicone can also be cured with lead which is of course cheaper but introduces heavy metals into your body which causes a number of other issues!). Furthermore, its surface is supersmooth which not only makes it harder to bacteria to linger but also makes it easier for the toy to glide in – unlike the porous surface of PVC and rubber. Cleaning is equally easy as taking the toy: Throw them in warm soap water (I usually take a relaxing bath with my toys after a long play session), rub the lube away, rinse the soap water off and spray sanitizer on the toy. This easy cleaning makes silicone toys the perfect tools for group settings where multiple partners want to use the same toys after each others.

The Texture Bands deviding the Slope into Sections

Silicone has one small (?) drawback: It must not be used with silicone lube. The silicone oil inside the lube solvates the surface, makes it sticky and will disintegrate the toy over time. In order to enjoy your high quality toys as long as possible, please stick to water or oil based lubes.

Playing with Traffic Cone

I often get questions about cone shape toys like the Traffic Cone if this shape is not the perfect toy to the anus because it gradually gets bigger. Technically yes. If you sit on a cone for an extended period of time, the pressure will open the anus over time. It is not a smooth relaxation but a mechanical forcing open and the anus giving in more and more over time. This of course carries the risk of tears  and other injuries.

Practially, no. Physically, the anus is not round but oval. So if you want to smooth your anus and train it to open up, a toy with a slightly oval intersection that you push in aligned with the anus and pull it out 90° turned is better. The training is also more effective if there is a stretch going in and out for what you need a plug with a neck. Speaking of plugs, there is also a large psychological moment when training your ass. When you have worked for weeks trying to take a pugs and your anus finally swallows the apex to close around the neck, you get a dopamine boost through the sense of accomplishment. You can literally feel that you have taken the plug. With the Traffic Cone there is little indication of progression. There are slightly recessed hexagonal textured bands which divide the cone in sections. But the texture is so shallow and light that you hardly notice them, especially when your anus is straining.

Important Safety Advice on the Base of the Traffic Cone

So, for whom is the Traffic Cone? There is a small subgroup in the anal stretching community who just like the feeling of their anus being dilated to the max. For them, this toy provides the best stretch for their buck. When I first posted pics of the Traffic Cone, I immediately got questions where the toy was from because sitting on a traffic cone was one of their fetishes. There are also a number of porn creator videos featuring this toys which got many likes and positive comments. So there is a very niche fetish market for the toy.

But for the average anal afficionade, for people who want to train their hole, there are dozens of more fun toys reviewed here.

One use of the Traffic Cone should not be overlooked: It is functional playroom decoration. The base has “Caution: Open Hole” embossed on its side. Especially in effect colors like glow in the dark of UV active, the Traffic Cone sets the mood. And if someone wants to pig out on a traffic cone, unlike the real deal made out of plastic with its sharp edges, it is ready to use.

The Dull top of the Flattend Spheres that Make Up the Bulge Balls

Playing with HotKinkyJo Bulge Ball

As the name says, this toy was designed together with the female extreme anal stare HotKinkyJo who to probably nobody’s surprise I have never heard before getting this toy.

The toy is made out of slightly compressed spheres stacked upon each other. The spheres always have a diameter of 70,m but depending on the toy size you get between 4 (20cm insertable length) and 7 (34cm insertable length) of them. The neck where two spheres meet has a diameter of 52mm. The spheres are very slightly textured with the line drawings found on basket balls. But like on the traffic cone, the texture is almost unnoticeable and does not make taking the toy more difficult.

The Wave like flow of Apex and Neck for Intense Prostate and Anus Stimulation

Depending in the chosen firmness, the Bulge Ball behave differently. Mine are in 75% which is soft enough for the toy to bend between the balls but the toy stands up right. In this configuration, it works a bit like anal beads with a series of stretching & opening and closing again. The toy can also curl a bit inside the rectum like beads do so if you are trained and your rectum is large, you will probably be able to take surprisingly much of this toy without having to go deep. Since the stretching is one of the most desired sensations in anal play and because the Bulge Balls are stiff enough to be controlled easily, you can really ride or punch with this toy, driving the bottom into bliss.

A friend has ordered his Bulge Ball in Extra Firm but went for the short 4 balls version. With tip being rather flat and dull, a loose and experienced hole is required. Once inside the body, the balls apply pressure onto the prostate. The space between the apexes is large enough to catch the prostate between them. Because of this, with a bit of practice, the Bulge Ball can be used for prostate milking.

Where to buy?

MHT has some retailers. But with highly particular toys like these two niche toys, I recommend ordering from their website and customizing it to your exact preferences.

 

Gideon & WereRoscoe

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Weredogs WereRoscoe & Gideon

Vendor: Weredog

Construction

For almost 10 years I have only been reviewing anal toys made out of platinum silicone for a good reason. Unlike toys or PVC or rubber, they do not emit plasticizers which can be hazardous when being absorbed through the mucosal in your rectum. Unlike the other two materials, the surface is super-smooth and not porous which in the one hand makes taking the toys a bit easier by gliding in smoothly. And on the other hand, makes it more difficult for bacterial to linger. Cleaning them is also very easy: Throw them in warm soap water (or take a bath with them), wash the lube off, rinse, dry, spray sanitizer on them, done. Keeping them spot clean is very difficult however. The softer the silicone, the stickier it gets. As you can see in the pictures, there is always a bit dust and lints on them. There is one small drawback though: Silicone toys must not be used with silicone lube! The silicone oil inside the lube solvates the surface, making it sticky and disintegrates the toy over time. So please stick to water- or oil based lube.

Gideom’s Massice Shaft-to-Knot-to-Neck Ratio for Intense Knotting und Secure Tying

Another benefit for the avid ass slut is that silicone comes in a wide range of firmness degrees while PVC and rubber are always rather firm. Weredog leans on the softer side of the spectrum. Their extra-soft is Shore 00-20 which is really squishy but be careful with creases. Soft equals Shore 00-30, a bit softer than the popular Topped Toys toy and still squishy / flexible. Their medium makes a big jump to Shore 00-50 which is firmer than Bad Dragon’s medium firmness which would convert to Shore 00-45. Finding the right firmness can be a bit tricky, especially when you are new to buying toys. The softer a toy, the harder it is to control which can be an issue the longer it gets. Also, were firm toys can force their way into a body (not that this is healthy…), a soft toy can compress and thus block the anus. If you have found you favorite firmness of toy, keep in mind that the larger the toy, the firmer it will feel. So give the firmness good thought.

The Relatively Simply Colored Rutt Between the Elaborate Fades of WereRuscoe and Gideon

Fantasy anthro toys quickly gained popularity through their elaborate colorations. Silicone is THE best material to take on color particles. Not only standard colors but also effect particles UV reactive, Glow in the Dark or glitter. With a lot of practice you can create elaborate fades and delicate marbles. How are Weredog has come in the last couple of years, can be easily seen when comparing the marble of Rutt which I have gotten 6 years ago and the finely drawn colors on Gideon and WereRoscoe. They really made a big leap forward. This is also reflected in the fact that they are now releasing limited edition colorations on a regular basis.

Playing with Gideon

If would have to describe Gideon in a single words I would be torn between “cheeky” and “malicious” due to his dual nature.

At the tip, he starts out with a smoothly and relatively steeply tapering glans for easy opening up. His glans is actually one of the smoothest ones of all the anthro toys which I have tested in the past 10 years. Around the glans runs a bulgey glans drop which while steep is not vertical. So there is a noticeable pop going in. The sphincter can comfortably close around it to lock the toy in.

Gideon’s Softly Tapering Glans

Below the shaft sits a typical canine shaft: Three cavernous bodies both vertically and horizontally bulge around the core with a little bit narrower, giving it a barrel-shape. A little bit deeper ventral groove sits at the bottom adding the largest amount of structure (I refuse to call these flowing rounded forms “texture”). In addition there are two shallow and wide veins which also are also more an optical effect than stimulating texture.

Like on all dog penises, the apex of the shaft sits in the part of the shaft, close to the glans. It is only about 12% larger than the glans. So if loosen the anus through popping in of the glans and turning movements, you should be able to conquer this stretch easily. Due to decreasing in diameter downwards, the shaft glides in easily – until you hit your personal depth limitation (more about depth later). Especially when you get the toy in (extra) soft silicone, the anus can squeeze the cavernous bodies in the direction of lowest resistance. So riding the shaft is gentle and gradual stretch which feels a bit uncommon because the stretch happens upward. When playing with a top, turning the toy stretches a bit more and loosens the sphincter which you are going to need because…

Gideon’s Knot with the Small Bulges between the Knot and the Shaft

The knot is massive! Huge! Ass busting! The shaft-to-knot ratio is an absurdly insane 1:2! It is the largest ratio in my entire toy collection. Above the knot there are two small bulges on both sides of the shaft. They are probably supposed to make the transition from shaft to know a bit more easily; if you attached the knot straight to the shaft, there would be a recess to overcome before opening for the knot. But the added texture adds a bit of “stress” to the sphincter. Though, to be frank, it you are confident to take the knot, you will be loose enough to not care about these obstacles.

The knotting experience is one of the, if not these most intense in the market. The knot orientation is purely perpendicular to the shaft. So you can either align it with the ass crack for a bit easier entry or turn it 90° for maximum ass busting. While bulging a lot, it is also a little bit taller and less compact than other knots. So there is some gradual stretching. On the other hand, it adds a lot of mass! So once you have gotten over the apex and it is getting sucked into your rectum, the sensation changes from “Oh fuck! I cannot possibly take it!” over “Holy fuck! So BIG!” to “Motherfucker, I am full! Get it out”!” But good luck with that. The neck-to-knot ratio is 1:2.2. Once the anus closes around the neck, you are truly tied. Taking Gideon out again ideally takes both pushing and tugging. Once out, you are left with an intense feeling of emptiness. And probably a strong craving of taking him again. And again. And again.

Gideon’s Thick Base which could easily house a Suction Cup

His base is a nice circular steep cone which is a bit larger than the knot. Since the big knot would need to go through the second sphincter, I cannot possibly see how you could accidentally swallow the base.

Sadly, Weredog does not offer suction cups for their toys. An intense toy like Gideon is most likely be bought in extra soft so it will be floppy. When playing in your own, you will probably need several attempts to take the toy. So a firm stand is beneficial. And finally, many enjoyers of knotted toys want to take it doggy style by attaching it to a tiled walled. So a suction cup would be awesome.

Circling back to the beginning, for whom it Gideon? Starting out so nicely, he could easily seduce beginners. And rightly so! Due to the extremely wide range of sizes (the Mini has a knot diameter of just 4cm) and soft silicone, even a novice with a bit of anal experience can already experience the intense tying. Though I would strongly recommend to pre-stretch with a plug! On the other end of the spectrum, go crazy! I have “just” gotten the XL and it is already massive and long! In order to fully enjoy the knotting and tying, you really need depth experience. And the XXL is just absurd. And if I did not know guys who regularly ride it, I would call it a novelty toy.

WereRoscones Dull Glans

If you struggle with depth and still want an intense knotting, take a look at my review of Weredogs Duster and Dagger who are almost as intense yet considerably shorter.

Playing with WereRoscoe

While the upper half of Gideon at least makes a gently introduction and entry of the toy, WereRoscoe does not fuck around. The tip of the glans is a dully flattened half-dome which sits on top of a flat wide bulge which runs around the glans.

The bottom of the bulge is steep and ends in a recess that runs around the glans. This is not a glans drop, this is a trench. Once locked in, the spincter has to work to get out of it. Apparently, Roscoe has been cut high & loose because around the shaft runs a perpendicular cluster of ridges and welts.

The Chasm between the Glans and the Shaft being bordered by the thick Glans Rim Bulge and the Scar Tissue a top of the Shaft

Like on his canine predecessor, the short shaft is barrel-shaped. Only this time, it is a bulging barrel without added structure through cavernous bodies, merging human and canine physiology for there Were idea of the toy. Like on canine dicks, the apex is yet again quite high up and tapers again towards the bottom. The shaft is a bit textured with a thick ventral groove sitting on top of the shaft’s bottom. Also both shaft, ventral groove and knot are textured with narrower and taller veins so especially in firmer firmnesses they are quite noticeable.

The knot is made out of two huge spheres which sit below the shaft. With the shaft to knot ratio of 1:1.7 they are still on the more intense end of the knotting spectrum. Since they are a little bit clinched spheres, pushing them in takes a bit more relaxation of the sphincter. Especially in softer firmnesses, sitting on them compresses and widens the knot, making taking it actually more difficult. But once inside, an intense feeling of fullness overcomes you!

The Ventral Groove and Thick Veins texture WereRoscoe’s Shaft

Yet it takes a trained hole to completely take the knot. The neck above the anatomically correct pouch which on dogs houses the dick is just one finger thick. So there is very little room for the anus to grasp. Unlike Gideon, WereRoscoes base is HUGE. Two massive balls textured with fur give him a secure stand and ample space to grip if you are playing with a partner.

None of his features makes WereRoscoe a gentle or beginner’s toy. In order to just take the glans, you need to be able to relax your already loose and pre-stretched sphincter very intentionally. While the barrel is huge, it is actually slightly smaller than the glans. So riding is fun due to the texture, but it does not add looseness and relaxation which could you prepare you for the knot. The knotting itself is intense though not quite as like on Gideon. There sheer volume of it is what blows your mind. And that your sphincter can barely close once knotted. While tying it possible, it will not be as tight are with Gideon because your spincter will always be a bit open.

The Massive Natural Base and almost non-existant Neck

Where to buy?

While Weredog has some retailers in the UK, the best way to order a customizable toy is through the manufacturer’s website. Especially with intense toys like Gideon and WereRoscoe, be sure you get the right firmness and not one the store’s purchases selected for you. Also, with orders from the website, you can get gorgeous limited edition colorations.