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McHurt Long & Mini Bat

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Vendor: McHurt

Construction

Long Bat and Mini Bat compared to each other

Long Bat and Mini Bat compared to each other

The bat is one of the more classic paddle forms with round ends and increasing width towards the top. It is made out of thick bull hide and has a metal inlay to keep it stiff. The inlay has a bit of a flex so  after a sever spanking using only one site of the paddle, you have to bend it into shape a bit. On the bottom you will find a loop made out of soft leather.

I own both versions of the paddle: The long bat with the measurements 41cm by 4,5cm at the widest part and 7mm thickness and the mini bat which is 28cm by 3,5cm and 6mm thick.

Detail of the stitching and the embossed logo

Detail of the stitching and the embossed logo

Playing with it

The paddles are very flexible: Depending on how you use them the pain sensation can range between a light thud to a sever sting. While the large paddle is more for spanking an ass or for lighter bastinado (depending on your subs feet size), I tend to like the smaller a bit more. First of all: It is handy, fits in most briefcases or even the inner pocket of your jacket. Also the stiffness of the inlay at the mini bat is just right so that you can snap it precisely against small areas like nipples, single balls or the glans.

Apparently both paddles have been balanced to fit a hand of my size (European glove size 7 ½). Holding and swinging them are effortless and even after long spanking sessions my wrist didn’t get tired.

Leather loop

Leather loop

Speaking of getting tired: As with every good impact toy, the character of the toy changes a bit over time. The leather gets softer over time so the sensation shifts a bit from sting to thud. If you want to create the same sensation over time you need to alter your movements a bit and/ or increase force.

If you are into coloring your sub’s skin this toy is good for it. Even after some lighter hits the skin turns nicely red but not as quickly as with for example a rubber prisoner strap. So this toy is good if you want to engage in a longer spanking session with nice coloring but not wearing your sub out.

Conslusion: Basic yet versatile paddle
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Versatile Deforms easily McHurt (Manufacturer) Mini Bat: 16,50€

Long Bat: 27,50€
Good coloring  
Wide range of pain sensation  

Mister B Non-Adjustable Aligator Clamps

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Vendor: Mister B

Construction

Clamps without and with rubber cap

Clamps without and with rubber cover

The initial reaction to these clamps was “The are handy”. They are quite small yet sturdy built. The tips of the clamps are covered with a small rubber covers which you can take off and find aligator teeth under them. To connect the two clamps a robust chain is connecting them. The chain is connected to the clamps via a movable bail which is mounted on side of the clamps. Sometimes the bail gets between the two sides and thus jams the opening mechanism. Because the bail is rather large compared to the opening between the sides it can be hard to get it out of the way which is extremely annoying especially when you need to take the clamps off quickly. A better way to mount the chain onto the clamps probably would have been holes in one side and a direct connection.

Testing if the clamps can damage rubber

Testing if the clamps can damage rubber

Playing with it

The size of these clamps is a curse and a gift. They are very handy, can easily be worn under normal clothes or fetish gear like rubber and don’t take up much space so you can carry them around basically everywhere. The drawback is that the pressure points are very small and don’t have any texture. When you are wearing thick rubber gloves, have lube on your fingers or generally have large fingers they can be hard to handle.

Detail of the teeth when the rubber caps are off

Detail of the teeth when the rubber covers are off

Another ambivalent point are the rubber covers for the tips. When the skin area you are putting the clamps on is dry the rubber through is stickiness keeps the clamps in place very well. But as soon as the area is getting moist like through sweat the rubber slides of easily. This is especially annoying because due to their size they are perfect for wearing under tight fitting rubber. If the clamps start to get off, you can take off the rubber covers and unveil the heart of the beast: The aligator teeth which will keep the clamps in place. They are not as sharp as on other aligator clamps and they didn’t leave a permanent mark in my test rubber and leather. But I wouldn’t put them on such surfaces anyway because in order to feel something through the material you have to add pressure which will damage your fetish gear.

Testing the grip with the caps on

Testing the grip with the covers on

This brings me to the big advantage of these clamps: The flexibility. The spring isn’t too hard so they are great as beginner’s clamps, for really long term wear, a session start or if you feel a bit under the weather and want a lighter grip. But when you take the rubber covers off you are in for some real ouch and some nice marks after you have taken them off. As the spring isn’t so hard they are actually pretty comfortable for long time pain pig use.

Testing the grip with the caps off

Testing the grip with the caps off

Sadly increasing pressure by pressing on the sides is a bit difficult because yet again of the size and the tight fit on the body. This tight fit in combination with the round rubber covers and the quite small opening sadly limit the applicable areas to ones which stick out like nipples, tongue or earlobes. Yet again, as soon as you take the covers off the available possibilities broaden starting from the lips and end at the rim of your poor sub’s glans.

Pressure marks of the clamps with the caps off

Pressure marks of the clamps with the caps off

Conslusion: A versatile clamp with some handling problems
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Versatility Small opening Mister B (Manufacturer) 14€
Small size Handling problems
Inexpensive

Mr S Bishop Head Harness

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The harness with the blindfold and gag put in place

I have explained at length in this blog entry why I want the Mr S Bishop Head Harness. When I first was put into this head harness I was thrilled with the sensual and session entry potential of this toy.

Besides that it is practical and versatile: It comes with a cover for the eyes so you can use it as a blindfold, a pecker gag and leather mouth cover so you can silence your sub. Furthermore there are D rings on the collar and if I understood the people Mr S correctly a custom D ring can be added to the top of the harness so you can tie your subs in various positions. And I haven’t even started to think about tying clamps, ball stretcher, etc. to it. I haven’t had enough time to play around with it to discover every possible use but I presume that with a little alteration it can also be used as a tight muzzle.

The two different options to cover the sub’s mouth

I am aware that at a price point of $379.95 at the date of publishing it isn’t an inexpensive toy and more expensive as if you would buy gags, blindfold and collar together. But the unique combination and versatility makes it definitely a worthy addition to every collection or play bag of serious players.

Sensualtables

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Usually this website focuses on the functional aspect of BDSM toys: How do they perform at doing what you bought them for. And to a large extended that makes sense being the only “hard” way of judging a toy even though because pain and restriction is felt by everybody else differently the verdict is a bit spongy. Because of that I have adjusted the ways reviews are written.

Last weekend at a party of the Chicago Hellfire Club I consciously experienced  for the first time another quality of a toy: The sensual aspect. Before a flogging session the top asked me if I needed to be blindfolded which I confirmed. He told me to kneel down and put the Mr S Bishop Head Harness  (and you wonder why it is today’s Desiderate) with just the blindfold on. From the practical point of view I was a bit disappointed because my cheap basic blindfold from SlingKing performed better at blocking out all light (or perhaps the harness was not adjusted perfectly). But what followed intrigued me:  The top spend a couple of minutes adjusting the leather straps, putting the harness in place, asking me if the collar wasn’t too tight. At least for me it had a great level of intimacy; it felt the top cared for me and caressed his precious torture toy. After the harness was fitted he told me to stand up and guided me to the St. Andrews Cross holding me on my shoulders which added to the deep feeling of trust an intimacy. So even before the main party of the session had started I was already half way in headspace which felt great.

After this experience I went through my toy collection and instantly discovered several toys with a sensual value. So maybe after returning to Germany I will write an article about “sensuatables” –toys with sensual potential.

P.S.:
If some rich admirer of my website is still looking for a birthday present: I wouldn’t say no to such a head harness… 😉

Back to editorial content

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For about two month I have kind of taken a break from running this site as I should. Of cause I have posted blog entries on my life in the US and other things but the main point of this website – reviews – has been neglected. But this is about to chance. I have spent my Spring Break writing new editorial content which hopefully should get me to Germany without having to write new one in between. So you can enjoy some reviews and desiderates and I can enjoy the second half of my exchange year. However, since most of the stuff I review I currently don’t have at hand some measurements will be missing. I will add them as soon as possible. Also, I have suspended writing articles because I don’t really have an inspiration for stuff I could do with my limited means in the US. But I have great stuff planed for the future so look forward to the second half of the year.

From Prison to the Market Place – a Response to one of Fossil9’s blog entries

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This morning Fossil9 published a blog entry introducing the concept of the game theory to improvie scene quality. It is an interesting approach towards getting a good session for all participants. However, I want to critique it a bit: From what I know of game theory and the prisoner’s dilemma (studying marketing as a major I have only touched game theory in some micro and sociology classes) the players have to have the same goal which they try to maximize. But I see that the only profit both dom and sub want to maximize is satisfaction which I find a too high level goal because every human being is generally striving to satisfaction.

The reason why a dom or a sub engage into a scene is to satisfy a desire but in the rarest cases this desires are complementary thus both dom and sub strive towards a same effect through different actions (a session of a pure sadist with a pure masochist would be one of this rare cases). So to resolve this dilemma you mostly need to “trick” the other part into doing what you want. This leads to the argument that it is part of the prisoner’s dilemma to give in so much to the other’s need that the other person is enjoying their session enough and do what you want so you get the maximum of  you satisfaction. But I don’t like this idea of BDSM for two reasons:

  1. As much as BDSM is a (played and inverted) situation of power asymmetry, in a good scene mutual players come and work together and at least in my world view mutuality contradicts maximizing profits at the expense of the other.
  2. Sooner or later somebody will feel cheater. This undermines the trust which is necessary for a good, intense and deep scene.

Besides not liking this play style, it is outright stupid. Why play with a person you don’t have a common consent on play style with?  In order to get a better scene, I would draw upon two other economic concepts: Coordination and transformation problem solution.

Coordination means finding an offer for your demand. In BDSM terms this means finding someone who shares your likes and your play style which requires you to have at least a rough concept what you want. The advantage of this concept is that it already takes place before the scene thus ensuring a higher level of play and mostly prevents you from bad experiences. Once you have found a right partner or multiple ones the scene faces the transformation problem. This problem deals with the challenges of transforming an abstract concept into something specific, f.i. defines how much force you can apply when the other says he likes ball busting. While coordination is more or less easily achieved (e.g. through questioners, hankies or acronym lists) transformation is much harder because many factors like experience or form of the day alters what the other can take or deliver.

This is the point where you leave the economic concept and turn to good BDSM practice. As I wrote  above all players want to get satisfaction (examples would be giving or experiencing pain, humiliation, dominated someone, etc. pp.) and all have an interest in getting it for all participants as good as possible thus enabling future encounters which will be better because the transformation problems recedes further into the background as  knowledge of the partner(s) grows. But until you get to this point all partners must give feedback in order to direct each other in the right direction. How to give and to read feedback is something which would stray way to much of topic so I just assume that experienced players know how to do it and that they will teach new players how to act accordingly. The ideal form of this feedback mechanism is that before a scene only taboos are negotiated (= coordinated) and the dom(s) is (are) experienced enough to know how to get the sub(s) where he (they) want(s) him (them) to be. This ensures the dom’s satisfaction and if he is doing it right the sub will equally enjoy the scene. Furthermore both parties can enjoy the satisfaction of success: The dom of getting what he wants thus enforcing the self-concept of him leading the scene and the sub of pleasing the dom which also should enforce his self-concept.

But all theory left aside: We do not torture ourselves or others for the sake of proving a theory. This is one of many ways to ensure a great session and frankly: If you have great sessions with great doms and subs, do not worry too much how you got these. Just enjoy the intense and deep feelings you share with your partner(s).

Flogged by Flogger

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Four weeks ago I was introduced to flogging. And honestly: I have never thought that after a really bad spanking experience last spring I could ever enjoy being hit by a top again. But, boy! What… not fun but deep spiritual headspace experience I had. Haven’t felt so deeply and intimately connected to a master in a long time and am already looking forward to enhance this experience.

Anyway you should know me well enough by now that I am like a little boy who envies the other boys’ toys. Also: I like to have good toys which I know at hand when the right master is close by. So suddenly without expecting it, I am into the market for flogger (My wallet is already weeping. Maybe I should ask Mr S in San Francisco to ban me from entering the store when getting to SF in May to prevent me from ruining myself). Being a quality maniac who also appreciates craftsmanship I spent the new gained freedom after my last midterm tonight to search the web for companies who’s website made the impression that they make good flogger. And I have to admit: I am a bit overwhelmed. Flogger.com offers not less than 16 different hides plus rubber and metal as tail materials. Add to this all the different styles handles can be woven, tail width and length and color options, for the first time in my activity in the kinky scene I am clueless what I want. Sadly all companies I have found operate on the internet only and still having limited insight in what I like and need from a flogger I don’t really feel comfortable ordering them only. And since I won’t be in town for IML (I earn the money to buy flogger while the event processes) there is very little chance to try some models. So it will be interesting to see how, what and how many first flogger I will get. Look already forward to review my first flogger for you.

P.S.: My birthday is coming up in 11 days. So if you are still looking for a gift, I would appreciate a flogger 😉

The American perspective on communication

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Last week I had drinks with a fellow American Kinkster and talked about my communication problems. He told his American point of view on the issue and it is a valuable addition to my last blog entry emphasizing the cultural differences in communication.

First of all, regarding Recon there is a technical problem when it comes to the display of read messages. Apparently the Recon iPhone app marks messages as read when you acknowledge the incoming message. So when somebody is only with his iPhone a message is marked as read even though he hasn’t actively read it.

But the major difference is in the communication culture. While Germans usually only open messages when they think they have time to read and also answer messages. Apparently in America a message is read and then evaluated if it needs immediate or later answer.

Since knowing both facts communicating has become way less stressful and more enjoyable.

On Communication and Commitment Differences

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Before I write about what I really wanted to blog about, I want to get something out there which is very important for me. In my series “An European Gay in Chicago” (which afterwards I would have better named “An European Kinkster in Chicago”…) I am blogging about everything which I find curious in the American scene from a European perspective. Sometimes my remarks may sound picky because due the culture shock I am experiencing I am seeing things more clearly than a tourist or an expat is seeing them after a week or a year. Sometimes my blog entries may sound presumptuous having the tone that everything is bad in the USA and that they should learn from the good Europeans how to make it good or right. I don’t intend both effects, I am actually a bit sad that they occur but there is no way from stopping them to do so. These lines are my highly subjective impressions which reflect my experiences. So some things might be unpleasant for me where most people don’t bother. Especially not Americans since they have been socialized into this culture and perceive them as normal. So for every experience, for every observation I make I am thankful because I am experiencing the rich and complex American culture and am forced to reflect my own one which is always a good thing.

But now back to the original topic. Two weeks ago I complained a bit that due to the nature of the major online dating networks in the US finding good people to play with is very difficult. Luckily since then I have come in contact with a group of very experienced and very sympathetic kinkster. I value these contacts very much and hope that someday sooner or later will become friends. However I am struggling a bit with the American attitude towards online communication. I am used to an actual online conversation which for me means the exchange of several messages in a short term of time. Especially when trying to set a BDSM date this is vital for me because likes and experiences need to be exchanged and clarified in order to make a good session both can enjoy. But in America I have made the experience that people tend to ignore messages for days or read them and reply hours or days later. I know that my conversation partner don’t mean it or want to put me off on purpose, I actually fear that they perceive my in their eyes probably overenthusiastic communication drive as pushy and clingy. Yet as much as they cannot strive from their learned communication habits I can’t really free myself from my learned expectations. So chatting with people in the US is sometimes very frustrating for me and probably also for my chat partner. Despite that I hope that I will have more good and deep session in the USA.

Another thing towards I am very ambivalent is the American friendliness in combination with the value of commitment. In Germany we have a saying: “When you spend a four week vacation together with strangers, having neighboring beach chairs for the entire time, talk every day, feel very sympathetic towards each other and promise each other that you will spend another vacation together, there is a 10% chance if they are Europeans that this will happen and a 0% chance when they are Americans.” This American character is based in the welcoming and friendly yet a bit superficial attitude. Of cause this has advantages: Coming to the US or being for the first time at Chicago Hellfire Club I felt welcomed, people were interested and talked to me. Being approached so openly will never happen in Germany! The drawback is: People try to not be unfriendly or put you off. So when you hand out Recon nicks at Grindr or in real live in order to chat more easily and figure out if there is a common basis for a date, the chance that the people will never get back to you or will ignore your messages is very high. Yet again: I might just lower my expectations in order to not be disappointed but pushing back 25 years of socialization is a hard thing to do.

So while writing this blog entry, it turned out grimmer then I wanted it to be. I don’t want to convey a wrong impression: I am really enjoying my stay in the USA and love being in contact with locals, especially local kinksters equally for talking and torturing. What I am currently experiencing is the normal culture shock everybody is going through when he is staying there for a longer period of time. So to close this sadly a bit somber blog entry, a happy quote a good friend who has been an expat in the USA once told me and which especially applies to the special experiences kinkster make: Sundays wouldn’t be special if it wasn’t for rain.

Keeping these words in mind, I wish you a good, successful and kinky week.

Nigeria Fraud Spam on PlanetRomeo

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Since I have come to the USA I have been receiving fraud spam mails on PlanetRomeo at least every two weeks. I can only guess why I have not been getting such messages in the USA. Since I am mostly only using PlanetRomeo for a reason, I would like to know if people experience similar problems at ManHunt or Adam4Adam.

Anyway, since I find these messages kind of funny to read, I want to share the latest one with you. Maybe the ridiculousness brightens your day and helps you make it to the weekend.

Von:  gaylotto
Am: 08. Feb. 2013 – 11:05

On behalf of GayRomeo lotto team, We are to inform you of the announcement made on the 5th of Febuary , 2013 of online lotto Program held on 7th of April 2013 through a computer random system. Your Profile is attached to file REF: 192361411 with Serial number 116238098 won in the fourth category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of $450,000.00 in cash credited to Ticket number 113-0705649 for the total cash prize for fifteen (15) lucky winners in this category…………………………………………………………………………….
…..
Your winning details falls within our American representative office in Central London, as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of $450,000.00 (Four hundred and fifty thousand Dollars) will be released to you from our branch office in England………………………………………………………

HOW TO CLAIM YOUR WINNINGS
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Contact the Claim Management
Quote your ref and serial and ticket number and send it to your assigned agent:
Name – Scott David
E-mail Address – confirmationportal@cash4u.com
Please provide your full name, address, postal code, phone number and your country.

THANKS.