Buyer’s Guide To Collars

ToyTorture.com has always been sort of a reflection of my own play style and my own desires manifested in toys. As authentic and honest reviews at that approach might create the flaw of it is that I am missing out on entire categories of toys. Sometimes I get asked about these categories over and over. Chastity is one of them, collars is another. Since a collar is the strongest bondage device out there yet I am not really into them I decided at the end of the Heavy Bondage Special to give a short overview of the collars out there. Especially in the paragraph about the symbolism of collars I am making a lot of generalizations. Please do not feel offended if your individual perception is different but celebrate it as the diversity that is the heart of our community. After that I briefly talk about the different materials collars can be made out of. The last and main part of this article are showing different kinds of collars. I sorted the collars into two categories: The first are decorative collars which primarily serve a symbolic purpose and through their designed are not primarily designed to be integrated into play. The latter category are functional collars which are made to be played with.

 

The Symbolism of Collars

Collars have a strong symbolic meaning in the BDSM community. They are a sign that a person belongs to someone. It is common for top who wants to establish a deeper and long-term orientated relationship with a bottom to put a collar around his neck to show him and the world that the sub belongs to him and is no longer free. This act is called “collaring”. Being collard usually implies a interdependent relationship: The top promises to give the sub something usually guidance, protection and play in exchange for the subs devotion, obedience, trust and loyalty. Due to the powerful contract which a collar symbolizes it is a very special piece of gear which is treated unlike any other. Usually only the top is allowed to put it on and take it off, most of the time also only the top may touch it. Touching the collar of a sub without asking the top for permission is considered highly offensive and even hostile by some people. In some high protocol situations it is even forbidden to talk to a collard sub because you are violating the property of another top. Also in a high protocol environment it is not uncommon for subs to walk around with a collar around his neck but with an open lock. This is a signal that he is open for a top to collar him. Closing the lock just for fun or laughs again is offensive because the sub probably hopes to get at least some of the affection listed above from the persons who closed the lock.

Materials

Collars can be made of nearly every fetish material out there. Most common are leather collars. Because the material is skin friendly and to a certain degree can absorb sweat it is best for long term wear. Rubber and neoprene lack this quality so wearing it for extended periods of time can lead to skin irritation, especially when wearing a collar out of stiff industrial rubber without deburred edges on bare skin. The last common material to mention here is metal. I have seen collars being made out of all different kinds of metal. However I would recommend only ones being made out of stainless steel or aluminum because even when exposed to sweat they do not rust. Other metals like cooper or steel oxidizes. Because a collar through constant movement experiences some physical stress corrosion prevention applied to steel like chrome or zinc wears off and the collar can rust again. Of cause noble metals like gold or platinum do not rust but you have to be quite the posh kinkster to afford such a collar. Metal collars come in form of chain, chainmail, rings or steel cable. When it comes to chain you can choose between welded and forged chain. Welded chain industrial made and thus cheaper and has a deburred weldseam. Depending on the quality the deburration is not as good as it should be so there is a potential for scratches when wearing a collar. So before wearing it check the seams of there are not rough edges.

More uncommon materials I have seen collars made out of are braided rope, jeans cloth, bike chain and tires.

Decorative Collars

Chain

Probably the most common form of the collars and thus comes in various styles (p.e. from Mr S or Regulation). All have in common that they are closed by a pad lock which is mostly worn up front. The most common pattern is the anchor chain which is made out of round links which either come in long or short versions and in various thicknesses. Even when using a small pad lock the link size is usually so large that this kind of collar can’t be worn discreetly under a shirt. Depending on the personal style the chain can be worn longer or tight around the neck. The advantage of this chain is that you can easily attach things to the collar using pad locks or carabiners. Depending on the pad lock quality you can grab and pull the sub on this collar.

Mr S Yellow Colors Aluminum Chainmail Collar

Mr S Yellow Colors Aluminum Chainmail Collar

Chainmail

Chainmail is a material where small metal rings are linked together to form a mesh-like surfaces. Collars out of this material are lighter and smaller and thus more discreet than chains. Of cause they are also more fragile and should not be pulled on. A nifty feature of the Mr S Aluminum ones is that they come in different colors so you can use them a bit as a hanky. If you can a bit more weighted feeling try out the stainless steel one.

Torquator Collar

Stylewise somewhere between a chain pattern and chainmail this collar was originally designed to restrain dogs. So this collar is popular by dog players especially of wild ones. When pulling onto this collar please be careful because serious injuries can be the result.

 

Cable Lock

Another discreet option is the cable lock collar from Recon. The collar itself is made out of coated steel but since there are no moving links the coating will probably will not rub off keeping the cable from rusting. The two endings are made out of stainless steel with colored rubber accents so again you can show your favorite kink. Unlike the chainmail collar this one is also closed with a lock which has a great psychologically effect. The lock and the collar are small and discreet enough to be worn under a dress shirt during work yet to frail to be pulled on.

Rope Collar

If a closed look is too much of a statement or you don’t like the idea of metal around your neck (after all a collar is all about the headspace), Mr S came up with a rope collar. It is made out of black braided rope and closed with a leather strap and a non-locking roller buckle. If you ask the guys at Mr S nicely the can probably make you this collar also in other colors

Tolan Collar

This is basically an ergonomically shaped ring of steel around the sub’s neck. It is nearly seamless and rather sleek so it can be worn under a business shirt without showing off or attracting attention. Since it is made out of stainless steel it will not rust.

Jougs

I am not sure if to put jougs into this category or the play category because wearing them for an extended period of time is definitely a punishment! Jougs or iron collars are made out of piece of steel, sometimes lined with leather for additional comfort. They are closed by padlocks, integrated locks or screws. Sometimes they come with d-rings welded onto them for added play possibilities. Sometimes following antic models they already have cuffs for the hands attached or even also feet welded with chains onto them. Another version are double rigid irons for the neck and the wrists for real stress bondage.

The Heaviest Parus Steel Collar Weighing 8.5kg

The Heaviest Parus Steel Collar Weighing 8.5kg

The most sever iron collars I know off are made by Parus in Munich. I already wrote a Christmas gift tip about them last year. They are really well made, almost seamless with the integrated lock and so heavy that with some models I would like to recommend consulting your doctor about disc problems before putting them on!

Regardless of what kind of iron collar you are getting when shopping for a joug please watch for deburred edges otherwise severe abrasions can happen!

Functional Collars

Bondage collar

Another quite common type of collars (p.e. from Mr S or Regulation). They basically are like a cuff style restraint just larger to fit around the neck. So very often you can get matching collars to your existing restraint set. Being made for play they come with d-rings to attach the sub to thing or restraint to the neck. Depending on the individual style some are locking which adds a sense of bondage. A pro tip: If you want to fetter a large boot, p.e. an MX boot, and your restraint set’s ankle cuffs are too small try out a collar. Most of the time they are large enough and will serve you well as a boot restraint.

Fetters Posture Collar

Fetters Posture Collar

Posture collar

A posture collar (look at Mr S or Regulation) is a more intense form of the bondage collar. It is quite wide and usually padded, sometimes it also has an anatomically formed chin rest. The effect of this design is that tilting of the head and nodding is getting extremely difficult locking the head in one place. Usually such a collar will also have d-rings and there are locking versions out there.

Chocking Collar

More a breathplay toy than just a simple collar please use this one with caution! This collar is basically a latigo leather belt that is closed by a rolling buckle tightly around the neck. On the other side of the belt is a small metal loop with a roller feature through which the belt exits. In that end a d-ring is added onto which a leash can be attached. If you pull on the leash the collar will tighten and chock the person wearing it.

Shock Collar

Shock collars were originally designed to train dogs. Onto a nylon collar a remote controllable box with two electrode pins is attached. Usually this kind of collars come with different intensity settings. I implore you to take advantage of these different settings and don’t start out too high! The shock boxes are designed to train even dogs which have thick fur and skin. On human skin they can leave burn marks or even damage the nerve system! There are fetish versions out there which are not so powerful but being a power bottom and pain pig myself I can see the temptations of “the real deal” especially when it comes to dog play. Yet still please be careful. Not sexual kink is worth losing your health permanently.

Fetters Wrist-to-Neck Restraints

Fetters Wrist-to-Neck Restraints

Wrist to neck Restraint

Not really just a collar but the leather version of an iron collar with attached restraints. It is a leather lined locking collar onto which two locking wrist restraints are riveted. These rivets allow for some movement around its axis but otherwise the head has to go where the hand wants to be. Especially with added bondage mitts this will leave the sub quite helpless.

Collars Accessories

Especially with the raise of pup and dog play in the last couple of years collar accessories have gained popularity. Most commonly dog tags are used either in their original purpose to mark the dog and write his name on it. But I have also seen a bouquet of different colored tags as hankies. Of cause a dog needs guidance and sometimes restraining so leather leashes become quite popular.

Fetters Heavy Leather Hogtie Set

All Retraints of the Fetters Heavy Leather Hogtie Set

All Retraints of the Fetters Heavy Leather Hogtie Set

My toy purchasing process is quite easy. When I see a toy it has to fascinate me and spark my imagination. I need to start dreaming what I can do with it and what can be done to me using it. Sometimes it takes two to three visits when the faint “This is interesting” turns into “I need that in my life and playroom!” But sometimes there is an instant connection to a toy.

Last Friday I was working on my master thesis when the new Regulation newsletter popped up. Their headlining product was the new Fetters Heavy Leather Hogtie Set. I was immediately drawn to this product and my kinky fantasy was running wild. Actually it was so enticing that I stopped working in my thesis. That really means something when toys are you hobby and you have seen a lot.

Detail of how the Wrist Restraint in Connected to the Thigh Restraint

Detail of how the Wrist Restraint in Connected to the Thigh Restraint

This set is actually not very new but a clever combination of existing toys with a nifty addition: They have taken their padded thigh-to-ankle restraints to bind them together. Onto this restraint they added a flat loop through with the belt of their trusted padded wrist restraint goes. So wrists and ankles are connected to the thigh limiting the movement even further. Naturally coming from their premium restraint range all pieces are locking and feature two welded D-rings. For additionally fettering they developed a belt with two loops to bind the upper arms together. This piece of bondage is also locking.

All piece of gear can of cause be used individually yet it is the combination that makes them shine. I can’t wait to get my hands on one of these sets and try it out myself. It retails for £249 which is a pretty good deal when you keep in mind what you are getting for your money.

Preserving the Burning Fire – On Outgrowing and Passing on Toys

S&M stands for sexual magic

– Patrick Califia

Passing on toys and gear has a long tradition in the BDSM and fetish community. One of the reasons for that is the concept of energy transfer during a scene. What happens during play is more than just the exchange of mental or physical force between the top and the sub. An intense connection between them is formed that consists out of more than the sum of its parts (If you are curious about this more spiritual aspect of BDSM I recommend the works of Marc Thompson or Joeff Mains). For some people this connection is the origin of headspace, for some the sole reason they engage in BDSM and certainly an intense, overwhelming and mind-shattering experience when you experience it for the first time.

The First Restraints I have ever bought: The McHurt Ihsan Wrist, Ankle and Boots Cuff and Hand Suspension Restraints

The First Restraints I have ever bought: The McHurt Ihsan Wrist, Ankle and Boots Cuff and Hand Suspension Restraints

The concept of energy exchange also includes that some of the energy of the players stays in their gear and toys. For that reason some pieces of gear or toys are special and dear to perverts and not easily parted with. Most often floggers, boots or bar vests are considered to be special in that way. In my case three pairs of McHurt restraints are that way. They were among the first things I reviewed for this website and liked them a lot. It feels, they have been with me forever. But when I looked up the order date for writing this article I was stunned: I had only bought them in early December 2011. Not even half a decade felt like a life time. This illustrates really well what they mean to me. All the fun, experiments, surprising experiences and intense emotions are somewhat bound to them. Yet as I matured as a kinkster I outgrew them. While I still stand to my 3 ½ year old review and consider them a good pair of restraints to start out with I want more: More padding, more D-rings, more build quality, more features. So I choose the Fetters Padded Locking Wrist and Ankle Cuffs from Regulation to replace them.

This evaluation process happened with some toys over the last year. I looked at them and realized I haven’t been using them in a long time; saw no real play scenario for them anymore so I sold them to friends, to strangers, to anybody interested. These restraints were different. They not only represent for me the scenes I had in them but also my getting serious about BDSM: Committing to my longings, considerably investing money in this part of myself and somehow giving my desires a physical representation. Yet despite all these arguments I decided to pass them on. As soon as I would get the new ones the old ones would become an exhibition piece. Laying in my toy chest, reminding me of good times and fond memories. But like an instrument not being played anymore, they would be a dead accumulation of matter, slowly fading away, losing all the energy stored in them. So giving them away just by chance was no option! They are too special for me to see them disappear out of my life. Ultimately I decided to give them to a young pervert who is slowly exploring his desires, being just like me 4 ½ years ago willing to commit to his dreams and turn them into reality. So these special pieces will continue to live on in the BDSM scene until he outgrows them and hopefully then passes them on to someone special just like I did.

As important as these restraints are to me I am lucky that I am not parting completely from them: The set I ordered back then also included a pair of boot restraints, large enough to even fetter MX boots. A toy I have not seen elsewhere yet and thus I am keeping it: For memory sake, for current play, for future times when this mythical and mind-blowing bond between top and sub manifests again.

Hail thee who play

– Michael McClure

Fetters Flat Hand Mitts

Vendor: Fetters

The Fetters Flat Hand Mitts

The Fetters Flat Hand Mitts

For a long time I have been looking for a bit more bondage orientated mitts. So I was very happy when Fetters was kind to provide me with these as a review sample.

Construction

The basis of this toy is a 24cm long mitt with a maximum diameter of 10cm thus it is large enough even for large hands (I tried up to a glove size 13). It is made out of and lined with soft leather that has an intoxicating rich smell. On the back and just over the top of the body runs a 4cm wide leather strap which holds the d-ring on top of the mitt in place. Around the opening runs another strap out of saddle leather. Onto this a roller buckle is mounted which can be locked with a locking pin. Besides closing the mitt around the wrist the strap also holds two welded d-rings in place.

Detail of the Roller Buckle with Locking Pin and the Strap running to the Top D-Ring

Detail of the Roller Buckle with Locking Pin and the Strap running to the Top D-Ring

Concluding a word on the build and material quality of this toy. I pride myself in trying to acquire only high quality toys or ones with a good value for money. So I do not really have “bad” toys in my collection and thus have pretty high standards when it comes to build and material quality. Yet when I unpacked this toy I was amazed how good it felt! Many other toys which are top notch yet this felt different, better, superior. I can’t really tell why I felt this way because from an objective point of view this toy is not better made than my many other toys from Mr S or Parus for example but it just stood out from other toys.

How to use these Mitts to make an Impro Straight Jacket

How to use these Mitts to make an Impro Straight Jacket

Playing with it

These mitts are designed to put the sub’s flat hand into them and then lock them onto his wrist. Depending onto the palm size the hand can move fairly freely inside. If you want to limit the movement let the sub form a fist and lock another wrist restraint between the fist and the locking strap of the mitts. Once fettered these mitts are great versatile bondage gear. They work just like normal high quality restraints. The d-rings can be used to tie the sub down, which is most fun in a spread eagle because with the top d-rings you can really stretch the sub’s arms. The bondage sensation is enhanced through the nature of being a mitt. He can’t grab anything so even if he wanted to he couldn’t free himself. This mindfuck can be even made more intense with locking the mitts bounding him inescapable into leather. While the d-rings are a good basis for creative and complex bondage setups, the strap the runs along the body to the top d-ring is a good anchor point for rope. A rope top friend of mine used it to run ropes through there which were tied to the thigh. In another setup he incorporated the mitts into a body harness creating an impromptu straight jacket. If you are like me and not good with ropes you can use a bondage harness, feet and upper arm restraints to also create an impromptu all access straight jacket substitute with these restraints.

Because the mitts are not padded there can be circulation problems if you tighten the strap too much. This happens even more often when you use the top d-ring for strictly restraining the sub’s arms above his head.

Detail of the Front D-Ring

Detail of the Front D-Ring

In recent years mitts in a BDSM context have been very much associated with pup play so I have to say that these mitts have quite limited puppy play capabilities. I would not recommend to use them as a paw substitute because putting the weight of your torso onto the top d-ring is quite uncomfortable. For this kind of play I recommend Fetters’ Brown Paw Puppy Mitts or their Padded Fist Mitts. A possible usage of these mitts for pup play is locking the top d-ring onto a collar so the pup has to walk on his elbows. In this case I would recommend elbow pads.

If you look for a less intense bondage experience, take a look as the Fetters Easy Mitts which only have one d-ring at the top and are closed with Velcro. If you want a more extreme experience the mitts I reviewed here check out their Full Sleeve Speedlace Bondage Mitts which can be laced up to the elbow.

Conslusion: Incredibly well build versatile bondage mitts.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
3 D-rings Fetters

Regulation

 £84.99
Lockable
Many different bondage positions possible
Incredibly well build using high quality leather

 

Why I haven’t reviewed products from Sinvention, Fetters or Regulation yet

In the last couple of month I have been getting quite some messages asking me why I feature only products from a limited selection of manufacturers (most of my toys comes from Mr S, Mister B, SlingKing and McHurt) and thus why I don’t review products from this manufacturer or why I have ignored that one for my desiderate section (Which has gotten a bit neglected). There are a number of reasons out there and because they partly play a role why today’s Christmas gift tip nearly came without pictures I decided to elaborate them:

  1.  Toy Selection Pattern
    Against widely spread believes I buy most of my toys myself. I am thankful to Mister B, HML and UberKink who sometimes provide me with toys to review but the majority of my toys from my own money. When it comes to getting a new toy I am fantasy driving. Most of the time I have a specific scene or sensation in mind I want to create and for which I am lacking the right “tool”. So if I have gotten a toy for a specific sensation it is unlikely I am going to by one from another manufacturer just to compare them. Also the collection reflects my personal play style and my fantasies and fears.
  2. Money
    This leads to the next issue: Money. I am still a student currently without a job so my toy budget is rather limited. Next to toy categories I am currently not covering at all – like hoods or breath play – especially when it comes to bondage and impact toys I know that there slight variations of toys I already own out there which for my intention of having just the right toy for the right sensation at hand (or just for the convenience of having a second or third restraint set) would be great to have. But with my limited budget I simply can’t afford the luxury to have a deep AND wide selection of toys. So for the moment I am going for wide in the field that interests me and neglect the rest. And even with stuff that has become interesting lately like some hoods they simply are out of my budget for the moment.
  3. Shopping Style
    Due to the two above factors my purchasing process is rather sophisticated: When I have a fantasy I start looking at websites and from what I know of material and design properties choose a relevance set of toys that might deliver the desired sensation and fit my budget. Once the relevance set is done I go out and take a look at the toys I consider and try them out; I rarely purchase toys online. This is of cause difficult with stores being based in London, Atlanta or Canada.
  4. Review Process
    I have been getting messages asking why I don’t write about toys that have been used on me in scenes. When I gather notes for a review I am not going under in the scene. I am focusing on how the toy performs, how the sensation alters when used differently, etc. As much as I enjoy the reviewing scenes they are not as emotionally intense as normal ones and usually don’t get the top what he wants from me as a sub. So I stage “review” scenes where I interview the tops and subs afterwards. Of cause I do have an opinion on a toy used on me after a scene. For example I certainly can say something about the Padded Locking restraints from Mr S (I like them a lot) but that opinion is too indifferent for a review. So even though I have experienced toys from Sinvenstion, Fetters and Regulation (these are the three manufacturer I get the most questions about reviews for) I can’t say more than “I liked this and disliked that in that specific scene.”
  5. Copyright Issues
    This isn’t an issue for reviews but for desiderates. For the desiderate section I am posting pictures from the manufacturer/ vendor on my website and I have to obtain the right to do so from the current copyright holder! In the last two years I have approached over three dozen web shops and manufacturer several times and only got the permission from a handful to use their material. Most of them didn’t answer at all even so I stopped bothering them.
    Please note that some of the manufacturers named here have given me the permission to use their material for my website.

All of these factors can of cause lead to the impression that I am favoring certain manufacturers. This is partly true and as much I love the ones I am currently featuring I would much rather present a broader spectrum of toys and manufacturers to the community. So in the meantime while I am trying to win the lottery and fill my dream dungeon with all the dream toys, if you want to see a specific toy reviewed or just want to support my side by sending me toys, here is a list of toys that I am interested in but are for various reasons not on my purchasing list:

Sinvenstion – Arm Immobilizer Splints

Fetters – Calf to Thigh Restraint

Regulation – Leather Bag Hood

Regulation – Chest Binder

Mister B – Closed Leather Face Mask

Mister B – Iron Whips Wocen Cat 8×4 Long

Mr S – Asylum Muzzle

Parus Leather – Restraints No. 2106 & No. 2211

HML – Wide Bondage Belt

ErosTek – ET302R