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Eis.de Advent Calendar Review

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The 2025 Eis.de Advent Calendar

Happy April 1st! Only eight more month until you will open the first door on your new advent calendar! So it is HIGH time to start looking for a new one. To help you make an informed decision, here’s my review of last year’s from German mostly vanilla and mostly straight online erotic retailer Eis.de.

December 1st – House of Love

Inside the House of Love lives a silicone ball with a retention cord. Due to my FtM play buddies, you put it into your front hole and through body movement it stimulates the wearer. What it does not stimulate is your prostate when you put it into your ass. But apparently straight women like this kind of toy so I guess it is a good start.

December 2nd – Velvet Room

A pumpkin spice massage candle…  This pumpkin spice madness has to stop (and sadly, it does not stop here!). Yes, a massage candle is an intimate and safe entry intro wax play. I am all for sensual scenes as foreplay, when you are stressed or don’t have the space for an intense scene. Wax is perfect for this, except the clean up. But this fake pumpkin spice scent? Why not vanilla as an equally seasonal and more neutral scent. Box #2 is not a winner for me.

December 3rd – Pleasure Room

We continue with the sensual theme and the questionable scent choice. Today you get a massage oil. It has a decent quality, similar to drug store entry level store brand. But again, the scent: Christmas Cookies! I struggle to describe the almost aggressively sweet scent. It sticks to the nose like sugar water on a table and does neither invoke relaxation nor sexyness. Again, good idea which execution did not win me over.

December 4th – Flirty Room

Finally, something that does not smell weirdly! This card deck is trump cards with sex days. There a relatively few cards to the game is not so varied. But it can get a conversation started with what the players have experience, what they liked and what looks fun. Especially when you need to get the play going and ideally have the toys at hand or getting to know someone, this is probably a good way to switch from the social to the sexy part. Maybe one of these days, I will make a kinky version of it.

December 5th – Kissing Booth

This Satisfyer brand water-based lube is actually not bad! And is not scented! It glides well, for a relatively long and is not sticky. Being water-based, it works well with all the silicone toys you will get over this 24 day period. But: The bottle is only 75ml and there is only one proper one in this entire calendar. Being not moist enough/ lacking lubrication is a common topic in reader questions I get from straight couples and front hole owners. Considering the size and application area of toys to come, I would have wished for two or even three additional bottles instead of the nonsense they put into the remaining boxes.

December 6th – Adventure Room

Speaking of nonsense: On St. Niklas day we aptly get the first specifically male targeted toy. Hidden in this egg is egg shaped silicone sleeve which is textured on the inside. You lube is up, put it over your glans and start massaging. The texture inside is nice, varied and intense enough to bring cut guys fun without overstimulating uncut ones. The issue with toys like these is that they are designed for one time usage. So they are not only a bitch to clean and dry. Also, they tend to tear after a couple of uses (or after a few minutes if you are too enthusiastic). Instead of this toy, I would have wished for a sturdier silicone or TPR stroker.

December 7th – Secret Affair

Toy cleaning is a very important task for every kinkster! Bacteria and mold are not dangerous for you and your play partners, but can damage your toys over time. So, after every usage, clean your toys, especially the ones getting inserted or in contact with body fluids.

This toy cleaner is formulated rather mildly so I assume you can use it on leather toys too. After letting it sit on the surface for two or three minutes wipe it off. I like that Eis.de is drawing attention to an often overlooked task. I even like the small bottles which enables you to carry the cleaner with you even in a small toy bag.

December 8th – Moodnlight

These “exclusive” advent calendars have been infamous to feature a lot of filling articles.Things which are inexpensive, nobody really needs or already has. This blindfold is one of them. Everyone who has at least flown Premium Eco somewhere has one of those. Though this one sadly doe not match the quality of even basic airline masks. It is on the smaller side, sits okish and limits the field of view. But it is far from blocking out light and sight than premium BDSM blindfolds do. While in theory taking the sense of sight away will enhance the sensations of other toys to come, I struggle to see how this poor excuse for an eye cover can do that.

December 9th – Candy Cane

Leaving out weird seasonal star ornament on top, this textured silicone rod is not bad for an anal nice. The bulgey tapering tip will gently open up the any. The four later bulgey lateral rings are while a small challenge to take a nice stimulation for the anus. With a bit of training, you can navigate this toy towards the prostate and stimulate it too. As soon as you can get an average sized dick easily, this toy might become boring. But especially for straight guys who are discovering their prostate, it is a good toy!

December 10th – Passion

Elastic lace cuffs connected by a short chain. What do you expect me to write. Could it be any more cliché and less useful? As soon as your start tugging on the chain, the elastic band inside the cuffs start to expand. Considering the price and quality of the other items in this calendar, I guess the chain can be a small highlight after releasing it from these hideous cuffs. But that is a very small win.

Decmeber 11th – Temptation

Clearly, the highlight of the entire calendar! These nipple clamps are actually good! They have a good grip, are easily to open even with gloves on and the chain between them has a decent length. For beginners, limiting how tight they can bite might also be useful. But keep in mind that over time the pressure will push the tissue water out of the nipples so they can fall off at some point.

December 12th – Hot Night

I am a bit torn how to asses this toy. Compared to the other floggers I have reviewed here, this one is of course complete crap! The falls don’t fly unidirectionally, the faux leather is stiff, the falls are too short, the toy is not balanced…

But, considering who is buying this calendar, it is a somewhat decent toy. The sensations are a bit biting but not too stingy, even when you hit harder. And while the stiffness prevents light caressing, if you experiment with the toy, you can find some sensuality for play in it. For experimenting and discovering new kinks, it is not bad. I might actually consider keeping it in my playroom to flog wax of people. Something I would never ruin an expensive leather flogger for.

December 13th – VIP

From the looks and my limited front hole knowledge, this looks like the front hole equivalent of box 6. Designed to pull it over a finger, the texture is probably designed to stimulate frontal nether region. But being made out of such a thin material, it will most likely not last you a long time.

 

December 14th – Wild Wonderland

As a sensual player who likes to gradually escalate play, I am also giving this toy a pass. It is decently made, the strings forming the feather have just the right stiffness between sturdiness and softness for caressing and tickling. Brushing it over tormented nipples, exposed soles of feet before bastinado or the ears of a tightly found and blindfolded sub, will provoke enjoyable some reaction. Also, it in sleek black, it looks a bit more sexy than the dusteer some other people use for play. So, all things consider, a good play starter.

December 15th – Santa’s Secret

When I opened this box, I had to do some research what this toy actually do because I could figure it out on my own. Apparently, this small device pushed out light bursts of air which can stimulate the clitoris. Since no front hole owner was available for testing, I put it on my frenulum and my exposed glans and I did not really feel anything.

December 16th – Cozy

Please make it stop! “Playful pumpkin juicy lubricant”? Who comes up with such things?! Not only are fragrance components know to cause allergies – so smearing them onto sensible mucosa inside the rectum and the front hole is a really dumb idea – this smell is strong, biting and artificial. Even if it was a nice scent, why seasonally scent lube? The (pre-)Christmas season is a busy time! Most of these boxes will probably be put to use some time in January of February when people are longing for spring and don’t want to be reminded of cozy autumn evenings.

December 17th – Kinky

What you probably cannot make out in the picture is a one-size-fits-all stretchy lace body covering sizes from small to large. To be frank, I could not be bothered to put this shit on or find someone else. Underwear intended to make you feel sexy should be high quality and well fitting, hugging your body and making yourself feel luxurious. This crumpled thing is neither of it. And why is wearing sexy underwear “kinky”? I have so many questions! Also, where is the sexy wear for the man? Where are mesh briefs, push-up thongs or a jockstrap?

December 18th – Royal Escape

Even googling did not help me figure out what this toy is for. You put it over your finger to put pointed pressure… The prostate? The infamous G-Spot? It sits rather loosely on my fingers so hopefully wherever you put it in is not too tight. Otherwise it can easily slip off. At least the bright pink will help you find it, it you should accidentally loose it.

December 19th – Naughty

The theme of flimsy, cliché underwear continues. Now we are given a red piece of red lace with a slit in the middle, crowned by a boy. So apparently, you do not have to take the underwear of when playing with a front hole. But being again one-size-fits-all, I cannot imagine it fitting someone well. How much I would loved to have gotten more unscented lube instead of this cheap shit.

December 20th – Cuddle me

Another toy for the anally adventurous. Made out of firm yet velvety silicone (not sure while vanillas prefer this over a smooth, easier to clean surface) the tapering front bead followed by three round ones should make for an easy and enjoyable entry and anus stimulation. The big ring at the end makes it an easy to control toy, so yeah… Again, if you are a virgin, start exploring new sides of your body!

December 21st – Luxury Lust

Again, a well meaning but practically useless toy. In this box you are getting about 5m of 20mm wide bondage tape which sticks on itself.  This kind of tape is a good gateway into easy to put on, easy to get off and easy to handle bondage. But at 20mm width, most people will get tired of using it because it takes SO many rounds until it bounds that is gets annoying. And at 5m length, maybe you can tie the wrists? Or the big toes?

December 22nd – Dreamy

Waterproof vibrating bullets are fun! Tie someone down, put it into the front or rear home and watch them wiggle and move either trying to get it out or into the right position. This bullet is a simple model where you can only adjust the speed. But together with the power bank it is a nice little something to take to a club and surprise a bound sub. Considering what hideous other things we have unpacked, it is actually one of the better toys.

December 23rd – Pillow Talk

Dice games are one of the oldest games humans play. And one of the easiest games converted into kink! Back in the days when I was a young kinkster, I even made a couple of kinky dice myself. These dice give you locations and positions to try out. While this is not a revolutionary idea, the gesture is nice. The dice will definitively get things going if you are uncreative or need help getting from talking to taking dick.

December 24th – Master Suite

With this toy, it especially pains me that no front hole owner was in hand to help me asses the quality of the toy. This cluster of fins on top is WILD while the glans and tapering shaft are quite qsoftly designed. The Vibrations can be set to quite strong so it is probably a very satisfying toy. Having to reach orgasms when you partner cannot do it for you is a common theme in my reader questions. So while I would  have hoped for a few more male- or at least unisex targeted toys in the calendar, I am glad that the 24th is addressing front hole satisfaction! If it is any good, I don’t know! If you have played with it, please write me.

Triangle of Sad Yesses – My Thoughts on Pillion

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About this time last year, I was made aware of Pillion for the first time. A friend from the USA told me that about half a year ago a US distributor had acquired the screening rights for a British gay BDSM drama and if I had heard about it. This sparked my interest, especially after the movie received standing ovations at Cannes last year and won several awards. The first trailers were so-so, but you know how a trailer can distort what a movie is actually about. When it started screening in the UK and USA, I got mixed to very disappointed reviews from friends who have seen it (see:  trigger warning). Last week, I had the opportunity to watch the movie myself. Having read some reviews, like the Guardian making analogies to humor of “Wallace & Gromit”, I was hoping for a lighthearted, sexy example of one of the deepest bonds the BDSM scene can offer, showing how trust and caring can bring the best out of two (or more) partner. Maybe the humor would come from being a bit over the top, like “Mommie Dearest” which John Waters called “the first comedy about child abuse” due to Faye Dunaway’s overacting. What I ended up seeing was saddening example of a predator preying on easy target, gas lighting him into an abusive relationship.

As a kinkster who has been in the scene for 25 years now, who had his fair share of experiences which sadly also include abusive experiences and sad nos, I feel the need to write my views about the movie. I feel this need to write this, because the movie is critically acclaimed and praised for being an “unconventional romance [with] nonjudgemental perspective“ [Rotten Tomatoes], a “film [which] is confidently staged and handsomely styled“ [Vanity Fair] and a “steamy art-house psychodrama that’s fairly light on analysis […] laced with a wry sense of humor“ [Variety] that “presents a relaxed and amusing look into the world of sadomasochism (sic!)“ [kinoprogramm.de]. Statements like that cannot go unchallenged. In an interview with German online medium Queer.de, the director called Pillion a “RomCom”, which being a movie to “make you laugh, make you think, make you feel and make you horny” being “absolutely” the “perfect movie for a first date.” If sexual and emotional abuse makes you horny, if looking at a person suffering makes you laugh, yes, this might be the perfect movie for a first date. But for every kinkster, for every person hoping to get an authentic glimpse into real kinky relationships, this will be a hard pill to swallow.

Before I start, please keep these things in mind:

  1. Trigger warning: If you have experienced physically or mentally abusive relationship or BDSM scenes, this review might trigger you. Several friends who sadly had to go through such experiences in the past, had flashbacks after seeing the movie.
  2. Spoiler warning: I will talk explicitly about the story and specific scenes of the movie.
  3. Limitation: I will not talk about the artistic merit of the movie, the cinematography, about how hot some people find Alexander Skarsgård.

First, some technicalities, especially for the vanilla people who might have come to this opinion piece through a search engine. Pillion is set in the BDSM scene of a British city in the Greater London area. BDSM is an anagram which stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. While the movie touches all three pairings – like most people engaging in BDSM who are also called kinksters -, it mostly plays with Dominance & Submission aspect which is more mental and less physical – unlike the clusterfuck 50 Shade of Grey.

The movie follows Collin, a probably early-30 gay introvert who works in park room control for the local council and sings in a barbershop quartet. While performing at a pub, he becomes aware of a group of leather men playing darts in a corner. A tall, quite blond catches his eye – Ray. After some minor interaction, Ray slips him a note with his phone number.

A couple of days later it is Christmas. Ray invites him to a first meeting in the evening on the towns square. Both are walking their dogs which they tie to a fountain (is this sub messaging to the pup community?). Ray leads Collin into a back alley, where he gently forces him to giving him a blowjob. Earlier setup implies that Collin is not that experienced with gay sex and it is later revealed that Ray has a big dick with a large PA. If you are picky, you could argue that there was a bit too much force against a little bit too much reluctance there. But we all have probably done a little bit too questionable things when we are a bit too horny.

From there, things go down quickly. They keep chatting on WhatsApp and Collin goes to Ray’s apartment. Upon arrival, he tells him what to cook and without any further explanation leaves him alone in the kitchen. Once the food is prepared, he to told to sit on the floor. Being madly in love, stunned by his presence or overwhelmed by his longing for dominance, Collin complies without any further questioning. The puzzled look in Collin’s face implies that what is expected has never been discussed. Ray only tells, never explains. Where a good dom leads his subs and enables him to become the best servant possible, Collin has to resort to trial and error and interpret Ray’s stoic face. Worse, we never see a consent negotiation. Limits and preference are never discussed. A safe word is never mentioned. If TPE (total power exchange) is what they both wish for, it must be explicitly discussed and both parties must agree. Without congruent consent, almost all BDSM activities are legally assault. This is what at least kinkster know and expect and probably most vanilla people assume. Setting boundaries, articulating what you like and dislike is a basic human behavior. Collin is not a fully trained sub who is just switching doms. It is simply impossible that he stoically takes everything Ray tries to push onto him. Ray actively shutting down any attempt of negotiating, actively not ensuring consent, maybe seeing him being confronted with his demons through Collin’s first yearning for tenderness would have added facets to the character and driven their development forward. But, as sadly so often in this movie, it is left out and the viewer is left guessing. Some might argue, the movie would have been too lengthy if you explored all these nuanced developments. But there is time for lengthy sex scenes which in the length and intensity do nothing for the character development or progression of the story. While as a gay I can attest that they are authentic and in a developed relationship could exactly happen like they do. In this movie and this dynamic, it feels like they have been added for „shock value“, to satisfy some voyeuristic desires of a probably straight audience because except the people involved wearing gear, they are not that kinky at all, let alone include any real physical sadism.

One of the next scenes is a play/ training wrestling fight in Ray’s living room, right in front of a big TV on a sideboard. As a person who has been optimizing play spaces for over a decade now, not an ideal placement for a large, easily tipped over piece of equipment. One of the many instances where the production crew apparently did not care to consult a real BDSM practitioner. While wrestling, Ray is wearing a singlet from Boxer, from Collin I can only remember that his is assless. The scene ends with Ray fucking Collin bareback. No prior negotiating about safer sex, no pre-stretching , little to no intimacy. Just Collin lying flat on the floor, Ray forcing himself into him, apparently taking his virginity.

When they part, Ray invites Collin to come back the same evening. Arriving at Ray’s apartment, most of his leather buddies are there, changing into gear for what I assume is going to be a play party. While a play party with a bunch of hot and kinky guys, might be the dream of many bottoms. Being thrown into such a setting without any prior discussion is not ok. Even more when it is the participants second intimate encounter.

The next part of this tour de force through ones journey into kink is Collin receiving his first motorcycle leathers. The movie is based on a book which claims to be set in old guard leather culture in the 70s. Especially in these circles, getting your first piece of gear bestowed on you was a huge deal on your way through the ranks of leather. But in Pillion it is just there because it is necessary for Collin to ride pillion with Ray.

This lack of using a significant moment for character development is trumped by the next cut to the future. Suddenly Collin is wearing a padlocked chain collar and has a buzz cut. Getting collared is probably one of the most significant moments in a dom sub relationship. It is a sign of taking both ownership and responsibility for the sub and the sub accepting the leadership of the top. Handing out a collar is not something you do lightly, as well as excepting a collar. This occasion is often celebrated in a collaring ceremony which could be among peers or intimate. It could be short, it could be elaborate. It could be a top closing the lock on a collar that the sub already owns. All these acts have significance and tell so much about the dynamic. But in Pillion it is just there.

The shaving of a sub is equally if not more significant. Hair plays an important part in our humanity and individuality. That is the reason why giving someone an unwanted haircut is considered assault in most jurisdictions. And that is why the people deported to concentration camps were shaven. Giving a top permission to alter the hair style is one of the if the biggest sacrifices and commitments a sub can give. But again, it just appears. To people in the know, it is just disappointing that events which could have been the emotional most intense scenes are just missing. But without that prior knowledge and context, what Variety called „light on analysis“ turns into leaving out important pieces of information necessary to follow the protagonist on his emotional journey.

This knowledge is important in one of the next scenes. For his birthday the bikers pick Collin up from Ray’s place in the middle of the night to take him to an overnight camping trip (or „run“ how it is called in the scene). What starts out as a fun and lighthearted activity quickly takes a serious turn: Ray and another top are in lake, carrying their subs on their shoulders to wrestle. Collin looses and is immediately replaced by another sub, Kevin because Ray does not like to lose. Later in the camp ground, Collin and the other sub are bending over picnic tables, ready to be used sexually. The other sub’s tops sits down behind him and starts working on his ass. Now Ray appears, unzip his pants and let the other sub suck his dick. This is where we see his rather big and ringed dick. The sub is going down in Ray’s dick hard while he maintains eye contact with Collin. Ray’s gaze is at best aloof, at worst cold while Collin’s face is full of sadness and longing. Without a word, Ray steps around, again without pre-stretching starts fucking Collin hard. No communication, no consent, just action of what feels like punishment. Punishment without telling the sub where he failed and how he could do better the next time is not just cruel but against a top’s own interests. Usually, a top wants his sub to perform at his best, being as efficient at his service and making him proud. Unless you want to set him up to fail. In an earlier scene, Collin talks to Kevin who tells him that Collin “sort of brings [Ray’s] qualities into relief”. What qualities they are remains a mystery to the viewer (except him being handsome and hung). It is amazing none of the other members of the group feel the need to correct him or tell his sub that is abusive behavior has nothing to do with the trustful relationship D/s is supposed to be. They just shrug and carry on. Again, something that especially in the old guard leather community would probably never have happened (basically, back then you ascended through ranks once you were a good enough dom). It could be that this dynamic is what Collin actively agreed on, probably during the collaring ceremony when usually the terms of submission are again explicitly mentioned (after previously being extensively discussed and negotiated outside the D/s context) so both parties know what they can expect from such an arrangement. But the viewing kinkster can only assume and wonder, the vanilla people are probably shocked.

At a family dinner where Ray is introduced to Collin’s parents, Ray’s deafening silence escalates. Next, Collin’s mother dies from cancer. Instead of being a caring dom who is comforting the soul who has been entrusted to him in such difficult times, he just asks Collin if he is ok which he affirms and then sends him to the kitchen. No reading of his body language which screams the opposite of his words, no taking the lead when his sub does not know what is good for him. In a displacement activity, Collin burns his fingers on the pot handles. Only after injuring himself, Ray shows care and gentleness. He even lets Collin sleep next to him in his bed instead of the floor in front of it. Having been shown how human(e) Ray can be, he starts longing for this part of his personality too. For the first time, he takes agency for his own needs and desires. But instead of opening a discussion about the evolution of their relationship, Ray blocks everything and continue with his highly problematic behavior.  This escalates into Collin stealing Ray’s motorcycle and taking it for a ride through the night. Back home, Ray is not mad but tender and loving. They have a nice day on equal footing. Ray gives Collin a possibility to outshine him. In a cinema Ray makes Collin cum. This could have been a very significant moment in their D/s relation if we knew that chastity was part of their dynamic. But we don’t so it is just an instance of gays being not able to control their horniness. The chase from being thrown out of the cinema end Ray falling on his back in a park, Collin being on top of him, trying to kiss him. This intimate moment apparently confronts Ray with his inner demons.

His reaction is to ghost Collin. Ray is not answering his message, he has moved out of his apartment. Collin’s father is driving his son around the gay motorcyclist meeting points of London but Ray is not to be found and nobody has piece of information about his whereabouts. Interestingly, also none of the other members of the group is seen in any shot. They all have vanished from the face of the earth. Leaving dismissed, not decollared sub hanging in the air without anybody from the community is stepping in, is again highly unusual. Here, for dramatic effect, one of the most essential part of the kink community is intentionally ignored: The community, the support, the caring for each others in times of need.

All through the movie I was wondering if writer and director Harry Lighton was a member of the kink community. In the end, there is a hint either in the direction if he is a community member or who his imagined audience is which makes me question his intention with the movie. But let’s take one thing at a time.

Back as a barbershop singer in the bar where it all started, Collin set ups an online dating profile on Grindr. Especially as a British film, I would have chosen Recon, as a local and „community“ driven app (maybe one of these days I will write down my thoughts on Recon but not today). This short sequence is a bright spot: He describes himself honestly, sets boundaries and articulates precisely what he is looking for. Then there is a cut to a local soccer match. Collin approaches a random stranger who is wearing the team’s jersey and starts talking to him. The guy seems somewhere between aloof and not interested. But Collin kneels down and starts tying the top’s shoe laces. Again, there was no negotiation or even a non-verbal sign that the top consents to this. First, also a top has the right to be asked if he wants submission from someone. Second, such a public act can easily become problematic. Since the top is wearing the team’s jersey we can only assume that he is among people who know him. A stranger dropping in front of him and tying him laces is at best unusual, at worst can lead to uncomfortable questions. Again, the movie fails to provide context. Did Collin find a random dom close by on the grid or did they chat before on Grindr, negotiated that such a public act of submission was his entry card? The searching look from Collin if this guy is the guy he has seen on the app could validate both interpretation. The final picture is the two walking together before there is the cut to the credit.

Circling back: Who is the movie for? It could either be for vanilla people. Grindr as an easily recognized global cultural phenomenon could be a cue. But then the movie lacks so much context and explanations. Without deeper knowledge of the shared values, rites and symbols of the kink scene, the movie cannot be properly understood. Instead of an authentic insight into a D/s relationship, it is a voyeuristic piece about the depraved things gay (?) kinksters do and how morally questionable they are. Or it could be for kinksters as an example of what can happen when you substitute therapy with kink, when explicit communication does not happen, when a much more experienced player takes advantage of the lack of knowledge of a curious newbie. But when it is for the community, why Grindr? Why are essential rites of passage like the collaring or the most emotionally intense acts like the shaving of the hair not shown? There, genuine moments of trust and bonding could have be shown. Instead the movie choose to show extensive rougher sex scenes which adds to voyeurism but does not drive the story forward.

When I first heard about Pillion, I hoped for an authentic representation of a power dynamic. And to some extend it is. In my almost 14 years of running this website, countless of times I have gotten messages from mostly new to the scene subs asking if dynamics very similar to this are ok and what they can expect. Because of this, I fear a bit, that people will find validation for their actions and relationship in this movie. That people suffer through things when they should get out. Of course, a movie like this could never be commercially successful with only a kinky audience. In fact, most viewers will be vanilla people who were enticed by the raving reviews. But without further context, analysis or explanatory metatext, Pillion cannot be fully understood. Many will probably take it as an example of a typical gay D/s relationship. This aura of authenticity is emphasized by the clever marketing trick of inviting esteemed European BDSM clubs to screenings, probably ignorant towards what the movie shows. Such club outings are understandable social activities. My local fetish club is also planning to go the local premiere in gear to get as nice pictures as our fellow clubs in Stockholm or Dublin. If I had not had the depressing and discouraging reviews from trusted friends in the English speaking world, I would probably be equally enthusiastic as my club brothers. But now, many kinkster will give a movie clout that it should not deserve. In the end, this movie will validate bad stereotypes about kinksters instead of questioning them.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer III – Good Boi Scented Candle

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Bold Design & Sophisticated Scents: Good Boi Candles

A scented candle is probably one of the most universal gifts for a gay/ kinkster. We all love decorating (just look at the effort we are putting into to get the mood in our play spaces just right) and everybody had that kind of scenes where a scented candle was necessary to restore olfactoric order in our apartment again. Scents are also very powerful triggers. They can instantly create moods and feelings. Because of that I know many kinksters who light scanted candles to mark the start of the comedown or make the post play snuggles even more enjoyable.

While you can do this with very scented candle – from the big blue bag store to little D from Paris – buying from a community member who gives back is always the better option. Good Boi Candles was founded by two queers in London almost three years ago. They take their scent inspiration from the kink and queer community. With scent names like „Cream Pie“, „Whip Crack“ or „Cottaging“ you know they know and they mean business.

The Color Packaging of Good Boi Candles

Being based in the UK, I sadly did not have a chance to try the scents themselves. But within the past 24 months they have become the favorite scented candle brand from several UK friends. So I take their word for it. And to for £29 per candle, you cannot make much wrong for a hand-poured candle while supporting a community member.

From the descriptipons on their website my favorite would probably be Cottaging since I like citrus and especially Bergamot and Cruising or Morning Wood for their woody, earthy tones. But they also have spicy and fruity varieties. So I am sure you can find the right scent for both your hard leather dom Sir and favorite fabulous queen.

If you gift the candle to someone or yourself this Christmas, please let me know how you liked it!

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer II – VAST (Smart) Watch Straps

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The VAST Watch Strap, a Latex Strap for Smart Watches

Flagging what you are into is an important aspect of kink life. You never know where you might find your next (play) partner. Especially in vanilla or everyday settings, a wide wrist band in hanky code colors can be out of place or raise uncomfortable questions.

For those of you who are wearing a smartwatch, VAST has developed a nifty accessory: Straps with connectors for most current models from Apple (79€), Samsung and Garmin (69€) for example made out of their Superior Latex. The base is a wide wrist cuff style strap with a hole in the middle. With this hole the sensors on the bottom of the smartwatch can still get skin contact, tracking ALL the bio functions. Through slots the actual watch strap which fetters the watch to the wrist is threaded. It is closer with a sturdy and comfortable stainless steel roller buckle like on all other Superior Latex products from VAST. This design makes the strap quite versatile. For a more inconspicuous look, just wear the strap and it looks like a normal watch strap just with the unique latex feeling and horny latex rubber. For a more bolt statement add the cuff. You can even mix and match colors of the cuff and strap to either display different hanky colors or align the look perfectly with your gear.

Some Examples of the 12 Possible Colors for the VAST Watch Strap made out of Aramid Reinforced Superior Latex

If you want a latex watch strap, Superior Latex is the material to go to. Between two layers of thin garment latex, a layer of Aramid is glued giving it super-strength. I have several heavy play gear pieces like a bulldog harness or restraints and they have weathered years of hard play without showing any signs of giving in. So even when you catch the strap on something, there is not risk of tearing it and loosing your watch.

But as sturdy as the Aramid makes the latex, it is still latex. Thus, in theory latex is not an ideal material for everyday usage. UV radiation and all forms of oils will make it chewy quickly and will destroy it over time. This includes the oils in perfume, deodorant and even the skin oil every human produces. In order to enjoy the watch strap as long as possible, at least wipe it clean with a damp towel after wearing it. If you really want to treat it, wash it with a special latex detergent like VAST’s Wonder Wash and polish it with silicone lube afterwards. Yet, like every other piece of rubber and latex gear, enjoy it while it lasts, knowing it is not forever. And when you are a rubber fetishists, there is nothing like that very special touch of rubber on your skin, that very special scent. During my undergraduate studies, I wore a rubber wrist band for year on a daily basis. Having a light latex scent wafting around me, helped me pull through many of life’s necessities.

The VAST Watch Strap in Leather, probably more Longlasting but not as Comfortable as the Latex one

So while this wrist strap will not be with you forever, I can imagine that along the way, it will be a hot looking and horns inducing companion, either complementing a fetish outfit or bringing a kit of kink into your everyday life.

The straps also come in black briddle leather (89€) with laser engraved stitching, giving the strap a both rustic and modern look. Depending on the hide, tanning and treatment briddle leather can very stiff with firm edges and taking long time to be broken in. This can make wearing gear directly on the skin uncomfortable, making it not my intuitive leather choice for a watch strap. While the edges look not deburred or unburnished on the pictures, I doubt that a brand like VAST would release a stiff and scratchy wrist band. But without having felt it myself, I cannot recommend it unfettered as a gift for a leather lover.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer I – Klinikbondage Pillory

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The Klinikbondage Bed Pillory

Happy Advent 1st! I hope you had a nice sunny yet cold winter day and are now relaxing from the pre Christmas stress, snuggled on the sofa with a hot cacao – or fettered in bondage on the bed.

Sometimes the inspiration for these Christmas gift recommendations take curious ways. In the last couple of months I have gotten a dozen (!) reader questions asking for “a pillory just not as rigid” like the metal and wooden ones. This new trend puzzled me a bit because it lies in the nature of a pillory to be rigid and over time becoming stress bondage. Because of that they are usually made out of wood or metal. The readers likes the bondage position but looked for something to either more comfortable for long term bondage or to get fucked in without tiring out the wrists and ankles while being as quickly to close as a firm material one. So rope due to time or spread bars with attached restraints due to limited comfort was not an option. So I started digging…

As you can see, the Hands might be in the way of Doggy Fucking

… and found the pillory restraints from Klinikbondage (clinic bondage). Clearly inspired by the professional Segufix system, used in medical institutions to fixate patients who would harm self selves, they look as soft and strict at the original but at a lower price. Being manufactured by kinksters, the offer configurations which are not available from clinic suppliers like collars, neck-to-wrist sets, hoods and particularly this pillory set. Strapped to a bed, cage or a bondage table, it allows for the same bondage position as a pillory. With the knees down the ass (and probably also the front hole) is well accessible though in the pictures the hands look a bit in the way for doggy fucking. Dildo play and of course spanking are very much possible. With the ass down, this could be gear for a fun stress position. Since the restraint is strapped to the bed, it does not move like a singular metal or wood pillory so your body has to adjust, leaving the nipples and probably also the groin exposed for TT and CBT. The restraint costs 199.90€ but their Black Friday sale is still on, ending at midnight so you might be able to snatch a bargain.

The Klinkbondage 15 Point Bed Fixation System

I have not had a chance to personally play with their toys but from what I have heard, they comfortable and in-escapable. And most important for kinksters: They come in black! Since I get quite a lot of questions regarding this style of restraints – especially from European kinksters – I will look if I can get hands on their gear and write a detailed review. So if you are still looking for a Christmas gift for me, I would be interested in their 15 point bed restraint set in black.

Venus Berlin – An Expo Review

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It is a bit Ironic that right Next to the Venus a Apprenticeship and University Expo was Held

The Venus Berlin claims to be the largest adult entertainment expo in the world. Growing up in Germany, I have seen the pictures of scantily dressed women in lascivious poses on the billboards for the show. So I always considered it a very vanilla and very hetero-male focused event. Last weekend I have read an interview with the head of PR in the gay online magazine Queer.de how they now want to appeal to LGBTQ+, queer and even asexual people. A couple of years ago, they also introduced the Kinky Venus, a section focused on kinksters. This was reason enough for me to ask if I could get a press pass which I luckily got. So this is my review of the Venus Berlin Adult Entertainment Expo 2025 from a gay male kinkster’s perspective.

The Visitors and the Vibe

There are very distinct visitor groups. The largest are straight males who see the fair as some kind of stag party. The usually come in groups of friends and are mostly in their 20s. They are there to see the shows, grab freebies (as soon as there was something free to get, long lines formed) and take pictures with the adult performers. In a world where sexual pleasure is more and more experienced online, almost like a simulacrum between the watcher and the performer, seeing interest in real, tangible acts and experiences was kind or relieving.

The next big group is vanilla looking couples who are looking for inspiration to spice up their marriage. Most of them are in their 30s or 40s. It was interesting to see how the dynamics of the couples changed over the course of attending the fair. When they first entered, mostly the man was leading. But the further you get into the fair, the woman became the exploring and driving factor, sometimes making their husband looking surprised.

A smaller but very noticeable group is the people leading a sexually alternative lifestyle. This could be open couples, couples with a power dynamic, kinksters, body mod fan, etc.. They can be quickly identified because they made an effort dressing up. While the two groups above give off a vibe of horniness, they seem to be driven by curiosity and self expression. Watching them felt a bit like sitting down at Folsom and seeing kinksters being the true self. Some really put effort into their looks! Others deeply impressed like the body mod couple in their late 70s who unapologetic strolled over the fair just in stockings and a walking cane.

Yours Truely with his Still Broken Smartphone Front Camera getting Ready to Explore the Venus

The smallest group is actually gays. You can identify them easily by the scene accessories like Sk8erboy sox, BenSWild gym backs or Gear t-shirts. My assumption is that they are quite tolerant because if you have an issue with seeing pussy like sadly many (insecure?) gays are, the Venus is the wrong place for you!

The vibe of the fair is a pressing, for me personally almost uncomfortable horniness. Voyeurism is expected and encouraged. But it is a somewhat greedy, not consent asking voyeurism, very different for the appreciating, encouraging and distance keeping observation culture in the BDSM and kink scene. I guess the performers are used to this kind of attention because satisfying these primal urges and actions is their job and they have gotten used to it. Having been socialized in the BDSM community, it made me feel a bit uneasy.

There are half a dozen big stages distributed over the three main exhibition halls. On them you see female-on-female and some male-on-female shows. I am actually not sure if penetrative sex is actually happening there; I have only seen dildos being used. Maybe they reserve the full sex show for later in the day when the fair is busiest. There is a dedicated male strip stage in the vendor hall. It is closed off after with moveable walls. Most of the shows are for women access only. My assumption is that too many men have a too fragile masculinity to being accidentally exposed to another man’s dick.

The Kinky Venus has their own dedicated performance stage. The performances there were very solid. The bondage and BDSM techniques were well executed and safe and displayed realistic BDSM scenarios yet relatively tame. Compared to the amateurs showing the skills at Folsom Europe, they are warm-up sessions at best. This is probably due to their intention to animating vanillas to try something out spicy and not scaring them away.

I arrived at 11am right after the fair opened and could comfortably walk through the halls. When I left around 2pm it was really busy and sometimes hard to move through the aisles because people were waiting in line for some random freebie.

As you would expect for an adult entertainment expo, there were dozens of sex toy, female lingerie (and very few male sexy wear) and novelty items retailers. Nothing too interesting for a kinkster but funny to see. What surprised me were the several tattoo and piercing studios which offered on-site service. Maybe the open atmosphere makes people finally go through with their body mod fantasies.

Part II: The Cool – Part III: The (Non-)Trendy – Part IV: The Challenging – Part V: The Weird & Final Thoughts

Venus Berlin – The Cool

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A Spanking Bench from Darkstar with a Togepi fettered onto it

At the Kinky Venus a broad range of BDSM furniture makers exhibited their craft. On the lower end of the market, accessibly priced wooden furniture from BDSM Craft and Darkstar were presented. The makers really utilize the material properties of wood by offering highly customizable playroom equipment without breaking the bank. There was one steel furniture maker but their spanking benches, crosses and cages were very basic yet premium priced. If I spend that kind of money, I would like to see the refinement and countless customization options which Stylefetish or Evil Toys offer. From a technical point of view, I was impressed by the multifunctional BDSM bed from X-Design. The a bit bulky frame hides electrically operated drawers for toys, an electrically retractable pillory at the bottom, discreet below bed storage for a St. Andrews Cross, LED lighting and much more. The aesthetic with quilted padding clearly speaks to a straight audience which prefers a discreet design for the martial bedroom. But ingenuity enthuses me!

St. Andrews Cross from BDSM Craft

It was also interesting to see how many new BDSM rental spaces are starting to popping up. From a more rustic ambience of the Verdorbene Welten playspaces close to the Czech border in my current home state of Saxony to the upscale boutique resort of The Kink which will feature a SPA, new developments for every fantasy, budget and within not too long travel distance are entering the market. Since the minority of kinksters have the privilege of an own playroom in their home, having easily accessible location to escape the everyday stress for a few hours and immerse yourself in kink is great! Maybe I should start reviewing BDSM play spaces to give all the Americans traveling abroad to live out the forbidden fantasies some orientation.

There were a few BDSM toy vendors who offered a wide selection of middle of the road toys. There was a specialized booth for Asian made stainless steel toys over, several wood impact toy makers, some restraint specialists and full BDSM assortment shops. Of notice was first Vilain Garcon from Montréal. Formerly only an online shop specializing in heavy rubber bondage gear, they have opened a shop in Berlin just 2½ months ago. I am getting more and more review requests for their gear so sooner or later I will have to put some of their stuff through its paces.

The Multi-Functional BDSM Bed from Design-X

The most exciting discovery toywise was Angletoys from the Czech Republic which focuses on custom made leather impact toys. Most attention grabbing were their crocodile hides. While being a lightweight hide, the bone plate reinforced scales deliver a very unique and biting experience. I could play around with a crocodile’s tail which would make for a unique Dragon’s Tail. Personally, a different toy caught my eye. The basic shape is a long, narrow rectangle like a ruler. Between two layers of leather a piece of stainless spring steel is sown. Unlike most spring steels stabilizing leather impact toys, they chose a very flexible spring. So the impact toy is snappy and quite bitey, at least when you choose soft and thin leather. Staying true to Angletoys focus on custom toys this toy can also come almost be made in absurdly 6mm thick bull hide which feels as solid as wood and has not flex despite the spring steel. The length and the width are defined by your specification like the hide it is made out of. They also offer Saffiano-like textured leather which had a nice abrasive bite. I might need treat myself to one of their toys rather sooner than later.

The Ruler Shaped Impact Toy from Angel Toys

When I talked to the owner, he admitted that their website is basically an enhanced contact form which only features their more basic products. For the (good) custom stuff you should mail them which is a shame. If I only looked on their website, they would never have entered my toy maker shortlist. Because of this expos are so interesting because many of kink makers are excellent at their craft but not good at presenting it online. So they don’t get the attention they deserve. Of course, in order to access Angeltoys’ full potential you already need to know what you want and need which limits the circle of potential customers a bit. Again, meeting them in person at a fair and discussing your custom commission is probably the best way to go.

Another interesting toy design came from the Bavarian whip and impact toy company Weppyland (no link for reasons). They are braided leather single tails with either a short flogger end or leather eyelet at the top and a carabiner at the bottom. Unlike whips with a pommel you fetter the whip around your wrist using the carabiner. The eyelet whip can possibly be equipped with different crackers and tongues though they did not show those at the fair. Probably at the beginning of the next year I will review a completely different toy from McHurt where I show you how that works and where to get tongues. The eyelet whip can also double as a very narrow choking collar (be very careful due to the narrowly focused force!), a leash or a stylish wrist band. Both whips come in different length to accommodate your personal play style. As intrigued and fascinated I am by the whips and the fact that they come from Germany, sadly, for reasons you will find in the final section before my conclusions, I will not buy one of their toys despite.

Bargain on Nipple Clamps at Eis.de

Sometimes you find pleasant kinky surprises in unexpected places like the booth from Eis.de, one of Germany’s largest online retailers for sex toys. They sold nipple clamps for 2.49€ at the fair which is an unbeatable price. Since these kinds of toys are all coming from random manufacturers in Asia, they are as good as from every other place. So visit all sex toy booths even if you don’t think you could find anything worth your while. You might be surprised!

Besides BDSM toys, a few booths selling art stood out to me. They sold appealing and well made art pieces. In tune with the overwhelming male audience, the art mostly only portrait women and a few couples. There were no male only art works, especially ones focusing on male genitalia. Since there are a few women and bisexual males at the fair, maybe one or two male art works could also sell.

Part I: An Expo Review – Part III: The (Non-)Trendy – Part IV: The Challenging – Part V: The Weird & Final Thoughts

 

Venus Berlin – The (Non-)Trendy

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Due to a change in EU regulations, for about three years CBD has been added to almost every personal wellness product. So it was just a question of time until they were added to lube. Howl, a British lube brand, exhibited at the Queer Venus. According to their founder, the lube will not make you high (CBD never does) but will make your sphincter both more relaxes and the sensations more intense. CBD is also said to make you a bit more in tune with yourself and the people around you. From the look of it, it sounds like an interesting product and I was given two sample sachets I will try out. From a scientific point of view, there is almost no academic research to the (sexual) effect of CBD. So I cannot judge the claims. But once I have tried the lube samples, I will let you know on my Insta and Bluesky!

Howl CBD Lube Samples in Both Varieties Silicone and Water Base Lube

Anuux has been in national German media recently. Their founders presented their product at the German version of Shark Tank. They have made a pill filled with psyllium husks, chia and flax seeds. Taking six of those per day should make cleaning out unnecessary due to the amount of fiber the swelling seeds create which should push all the feces down in one or two big dumps per day. They did not get the funding because the investors had doubts that large number of people would pay 1€ per day for being always read for anal sex. Like most gays I have been using psyllium husks as a clean out facilitating fiber supplement for years. It helps a bit but more important are the general diet and not snacking because any addition of food creates a new package that needs to move down the colon. So while my pure psyllium pills help me get clean more quickly, they are not making my rectum always fuck-ready. And we have not even started out talking about fisting.

For my pure psyllium husk pills I pay about 4.2 cents per pill. Anuux pills with added chia and flax seeds costs between 15 Cents and 16.6 Cent of which you should take three in the morning and three in the evening, so I see the point of the Sharks. Again I was given a sample for three days which should be enough for the effect to kick in. Next Saturday I have a fisting date in the books and I will use the pills to get ready for that. Again, watch my Insta and Bluesky for a short experience review.

A Three Day Sample of Anuux which are Supposed to Make you Always-Ready for Anal Sex

Another a bit concerning health trend that made its way to Venus are online prescription services for  erectile dysfunction medication. The representative from GoSpring marketed their service as an online community where you can learn to manage the factors that can cause ED like stress, performance anxiety or bad nutrition. A part of this service is an online consultation with a doctor which will enable you to order Spring. This is a spray containing Sildenafil, the active agent in Viagra. Four pumps into your throat deliver 50mg, the same amount of one Viagra pill. Since the throat mucosa is very receptive for agents, it should work considerably faster than swallowing a pill which depending on your digestion takes 45 – 90 minutes to kick in. While on the one hand I see the market for such a service because many men have problems talking about their ED, even to their doctors, Sildenafil affects the cardio-vascular system. Because of that initial prescriptions of ED medication are usually given under close consultation with a GP after a physical check-up. Most only prescription services nudge the people to give the right answers which lead to a prescription; some even use dark patterns. I have not gone through the process of GoSpring so I cannot say how their process is designed. But I want to warn you not to take ED medication without a physical check of your cardio-vascular system. Otherwise sexy time can lead to a heart attack.

Maybe Next Year’s Trend- Welded Furniture out of a Nuts

What surprised me was the lack of trends that I guessed would be more present. After the VR hype a couple of years ago and the accelerating adoption of headsets, I was expecting more than just one company which offered VR porn. The same can be said about AI porn. There were only two companies. One company which offered animee style videos and pictures through simple user prompts. It looked cute and is probably a useful tool for the people who are into this kind of aesthetic, especially when you are into niche kinks. The other company was OhChat. They create digital avatars of porn models. The user can give them commands to create individual interactions and porn. The quality is spookingly good! A trained I can spot that the content is AI created. The bodies and surroundings are just too smooth and perfect and thus are easily identified as AI. But the movement is very natural, even the facial expression or the shooting of cum and squirting. The voice synthesis is almost natural with modulation and intonation being hard to distinguish from real humans. While creators can upload content and voice samples from themselves to let the AI create a digital twin, there a completely AI created avatars available on OhChat (easily identified as portraits lacking a checkmark) which almost look, act and sound human within the described limitations. Is that part of the future of porn where actors never age and do what you want them to do just for you?

Never out of Fashion: A Simple Spanking Bench

The Venus reflected the transition from big porn studios to self-employed adult performers and content creators. I only noticed two porn studios which sold and raffled away their remaining DVD stock. The stages and booths were from Pornhub, MyDirtyHobby, Darkfans and so on. Very noticeable was the absence of OnlyFans, probably the largest platform in the industry. Apparently they have entered the cultural zeitgeist so much that they don’t need to advertise. Everybody knows them already. The shift from studios with legal departments to single entrepreneurs created an entire industry of specialized legal firms, copyright enforcement agencies and privacy protectors. If you are a content creator, the Venus is a good space to get an overview of what is currently legally and technically possible to protect your livelihood.

Related to that topic, I talked to about two dozen adult creators about the shift to a sadly more conservative zeitgeist. While sex work is one of the oldest jobs in the world and will never go away, the random deletion of Instagram profile, the Tumblr purge or changes to Twitters recommendation algorithm can quickly destroy important advertising channels. In a bitter instance of irony was the Venus Instagram account taken down during the fair and has not been restored at the date of this publishing. While most of the fans and porn websites reside in Canada, the Netherlands or Cyprus and are thus somewhat shielded from direct US influence, IP blocks like Germany did to some websites for not complying with local age protection laws can quickly be implemented in one of the largest markets for adult entertainment in the world. To my surprise none of the creators were too concerned about that. While most had social media accounts deleted, having one or even several backup accounts have become the standard. Building a new following every couple of months has become part of doing adult entertainment business. But beyond the creators were not too concerned because, like I said, there will always be a demand for adult entertainment. Let’s see how easily it will remain accessible in the years to come and how the market will fragment.

Part I: An Expo Review – Part II: The Cool – Part IV: The Challenging – Part V: The Weird & Final Thoughts

Venus Berlin – The Challenging

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First of all I need to talk about the elephant in the middle of the room: Prices straight people are apparently willing to pay toys and gear! Very basic leather harnesses made out of neither deburred nor burnished leather costs more than the soft and exceptionally well made ones from Army of Men or Mr S. For the price of some basic wooden paddles I could get a custom single tail from Alpha Whips. The rubber gear sold was between 0.25mm and 0.5mm grade and thus has a very limited lifetime but priced like a Blackstyle heavy rubber suite. Mass produced vinyl dildos rivaled customized Bad Dragon platinum silicone anal toys. Despite what the stronger presence of alternative lifestyles and sex life in the media, exploring and living out sexual desires beyond the missionary vanilla sex is still considered a taboo. This leads to lower market transparency. So people are paying higher prices. Luckily gays are less afraid to talk about sex with their peers and share shopping tips. Because of this the prices are lower and the product quality is higher because scalpers would quickly be called out. So I urge straight people to jump over their shadows and at least look at gay focused online stores. Yes, the models are male instead of big boobed women but you might be surprised how inexpensive toys get a dude instead of a demimondaine is advertising them.

The Realdoll Sex Doll which Greatly Disturbed Me

There were over a dozen manufacturers from sex dolls. In a world where loneliness is called an epidemic and real intimacy gets harder and harder to get some groups of people, I guess they are the answer when the primal urges which broad over 30,000 people to the expo are not being satisfied. Sex dolls have come a long way from the cheap blowup “air mattresses” and evolved sexy dressed into mannequins which at least for me create a strong uncanny valley effect. But I don’t judge. Everybody has different preferences and kinks and there is actually a growing sex doll fetish scene. Yet my tolerance was tested realdool, a for better lag of words animatronics torso stump. The doll features AI for she can talk, move and responds to the physical and verbal input you are giving. In the PR material the manufacturer claims for skin to have real touch. But for me, it felt like a little bit rougher silicone surface I have on some of my anal toys. It lacked the warm and silky feeling of human skin. Yet some of the straight people who fingered her front hole claimed for it to feel like a real vagina. So far I can understand the fascination with the doll, though it is a pricey one between 11,000€ and 24,000€, depending on the configuration. But what completely threw me off that the doll is stumps where arms and legs are supposed to be. In my eyes, it was just an amputated block of pseudo-flesh, reduced to a being a desemination machine. Maybe I am too deep inside the uncanny valley and am certainly not the target group for this toy, seeing this erotic automaton made me feel uneasy and reminded me of the Spielberg film A.I..

Just before leaving the fair, I have a very unpleasant experience. On my first round through the halls, I did not buy anything, in order not to burden myself with bags. But there were a few interesting things, most for individual order but Weppyland from Bavaria had one thing I wanted to take with me right away: A wooden acupressure toy which could probably also be used for sensation, wax and maybe also knife play and just cost 15€. I approached the sexy athletic porn performer (?) working on the booth, asking where to pay. He directed me to the owner who was operating the card terminal. I already had my phone unlocked, when she told me that card payment is only possible from 20€ on upwards (still a sad standard in Germany despite being 2025). So I put the toy down and pulled out my wallet which hold the typical amount of cash I carry around with me: 5€ and change. So I told her “Sorry, I don’t have 15€ in cash. If you I cannot pay by card, I cannot buy it today.” which she declined. So I said goodbye and wished her a successful fair. While I was still standing next to her, she turned to the guy and said loudly to him “When somebody does not have 15€ in cash in his wallet, he has not real intention on buying anything anyway.”

Wrap Around Eyelet Whip as a Wrist Band and Carabiner Fettered Miniflogger Single Tail

First, if you have to make such a remark, you wait until the person you are talking about is out of earshot! This is one of the fundamental rules of retail: You do not bitch about customers when they or in fact any are around because it reflects back badly on you. Sex and especially kink toys are a luxury good (especially when you look at the prices straight people are apparently willing to pay) so they are an extreme people business. The customer needs to feel good, understood and comfortable with you. In the shopping process you have to dream their sexual dream with them and making your product the key to unlock the fantasy. Anything that disrupts the flow makes a successful current and future transaction unlikely. Personally, I was intrigued by the wrap-around-the-wrist whips both from a toy collector and impact player perspective. Finding a good whip maker from Germany would be great! Maybe they would have offered a deal during Black Friday which might have enticed me to buy both. But frankly, this quickly said short sentence destroyed my positive feelings towards Weppyland and the owner. Why would I now support them by giving them my money and down the road giving them exposure by a review on my website (I guess enough people will now Google them now anyway. I refuse to link them here as the only company in this article)? While their whips would have made an interesting addition to my collection, I currently own north of 40 single whips and flogger. If you live in Germany and want to buy more or less locally, I recommend McHurt and Peitschenhandel. They both have physical stores in Berlin where they carry way more items than they display online and where you can try them on. If you are open to paracord-based whips, Alphawhips in Cologne makes awesome single tails (my gift to myself for my 36th birthday). He is often in Berlin for events, so send him an e-mail if you want to try his stuff for yourself.

Vilain Garcon, their Berlin Store is an Example of how Customer Experience is Done Right in the Kink World

Second, if above-10€ card transactions are uneconomically for you, you on the one hand need a new acquirer! On the other hand, you need to calculate your prices accordingly. If your profit margin is too low to allow for card payments for small take-away articles on trade shows, you are closing yourself off from customers who maybe visit your booth last and spent all the cash. Finally, if all of that is for whatever reason is not viable, calculate how much money you would lose on the few transaction where people really have no cash. In retail marketing, there is a term called the “moment of truth”, where a good personal service experience turns a neutral customer into a positive one. How great would it have been if Mrs. Boyadzhieva said “As I said, we usually only take card from 20€. But I really want you to have this toy and I make an exception for you!” This might have lowered my reservation price for their whips, yet alas it did not happen.

As you can tell from the time I am spending on writing about this, this last interaction I had before leaving the Venus made a big negative impression on me. For over 20 years I have worked in high end luxury retail and luxury good marketing. Bad customer experience for a product nobody really needs really pisses me off because good customer experience is not difficult and expensive, yet is so often treated as a commodity instead of an essential.

Part I: An Expo Review – Part II: The Cool – Part III: The (Non-)Trendy – Part V: The Weird & Final Thoughts

Venus Berlin – The Weird & Final Thoughs

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The Weinfly Abormination of Mixing White Wine with Energy Drink Ingredients

On every fair, there are exhibitors which are just (hilariously) odd. The first I stumbled upon is Hyla. Hyla is a German vacuum cleaner manufacturer which is sold through network marketing. So one of their distributors in Berlin thought “What are house wives who are trying to immerse themselves in erotic and sexy feelings looking for? A vacuum cleaner which just costs 2.300€ – technically bargain compared to some of the sex dolls offered just across the aisle!” Their self-claimed USPs have long been debunked by product testers and scientists. But the Venus being a sex fair, I approached them with a real life kinkster problem: Can this vacuum clean wax, the most annoying part of wax play. It sadly cannot, but you can clean your windows it…

Overpriced Vacuum Cleaner – The Dream of Every Housewife on a Sex Trade Show

The second one way Weinfly, the Frankensteinian cuvée of white wine and energy drinks. Looking at the empty cans throughout the fair, energy drinks seemed to be the drink of choice, at least for the younger males. Since wineries are challenged by wine getting out of fashion and young people generally speaking prioritizing health and performance by cutting down on alcohol and drinking more energy drinks, they have to find new ways to sell they products. Apparently adding sugar (!), aromas (!!), guarana, taurin and coffin to a cheap white wine, carbonating (!!!) it and selling it for 6,66€ a liter is the way to go. I don’t want to be cultural pessimist but if that is the cure to the ailing wine industry, I would rather take the cup of hemlock instead of the healing potion.

Final Thoughs

The Venus visit was a deep dive into a sexual culture very different to the ones I know and participate in. Like all cultures, it follows a unique set of norms and rules. What looked to me like consent violations and objectifications are probably ok or even expected there, like the safe space we are exploring our darker and forbidden kink fantasies. Part of kink culture is learning where such things are appropriate and have to stay in these safe spaces. Hopefully the Venus visitors have the same knowledge when they leave the fair.

What surprised me was the “look and not touch” atmosphere. Most of the people were obviously horny but nobody was jerking off or having sex in the bathrooms. This might be the gay attitude talking, but I find it a bit unsatisfying to see what I can have without being able to execute. Again, very different culture which is very weird to me.

There must have been at least one Gay (?) Puppy at Venus this Year

The many different shows and photo opportunities in my opinion justify the ticket price for (horny) straight (guys). Compared to straight strip clubs let alone swinger or sauna clubs the ticket price is dead cheap with even cheaper beverage prices. The vendors showcase an interesting intersection of how to improve your intimacy, from mild impulses to wild rides. If you are vanilla and need inspiration or an overview what is possible, the Venus is a good place for getting an overview what sex life has to offer. Though for this group of people I would recommend coming early when the fair is not too busy. For gays and seasoned kinksters, it is interesting to see. It is a bit like taking the observer role some curious straight people do during Folsom Europe. But there is not so much to do and see that I would endorse a visit. If you are not there for the shows or to have a picture taken with your favorite cam girl, you can tour the Venus in about 1½ for which the ticket price is a bit steep.

For me personally, despite this culture shock, it was interesting to see now industry developments, talk to professionals and get to know kink toy makers who was not aware off yet. If I am in Germany next year, I will definitively try to get a press pass again and see what has changed and what trends will rock people getting their rocks off.

Part I: An Expo Review – Part II: The Cool – Part III: The (Non-)Trendy – Part IV: The Challenging