Archiv des Monats: Dezember 2024

Seahorse & Kthulu

Von | | ,
Schreibe einen Kommentar

Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: 13 colors included & 12 for a surcharge
Firmness: Soft to Medium, custom degrees possible
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Mr Hankey’s Toys

This review has been long in the making. It was actually scheduled to be the first review of 2024 because for years I have been asked to review the Seahorse. Despite being a texture lover, I was never that keen on the Seahorse because the design freaked me a bit out (like tentacles). But having taken one for the team several times and constantly pushing my boundaries, I decided to give this toy a go. Alas, then the cyber attack happened and there were no reviews anymore. So, instead of opening, I am closing the year with these BIG boys.

Construction

When looking at the toys, I was inclined to call this the sea monster edition because both toys are in the broadest way nautically inspired.

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Seahorse & Kthulu

The Seahorse is best describe as a (almost) human dick with a fishing net wrapped around. The glans is medium-tapering and the glans rim is textured with little bumps. The thick shaft is slightly wedge-shaped and bulges at the bottom. The entire shaft is textured with faint ridges. The stem is overlaid with five vertical (one of them “ventral”) and five horizontal veins which form a grid pattern. There the ridges meet, more or less small bumps indicate knots. Below the bulge at the bottom and above the nuts there is a cluster of three thick veins. The bottom are two thick realistic balls which are also textured with the ridges.

While the Seahorse is almost human, Kthulu is truly a great old monster. Instead of glans there is just a half-dome. The upper third of the toys is texture with a random cluster of half-domes and bumps, almost boils which are textured with shallow veins. Below it is a narrow neck which is textured with horizontal ridges. The lower half is a cluster of twisted vertical veins which look like tentacles grabbing the circular base.

Like all MHT toys, both are made out of platinum silicone. The materials is 100% body-safe, super-smooth and easy to clean. A little grain of salt is that silicone toys must not be used with silicone or hybrid lube. Both kinds of lube will disintegrate the surface. Water and oil based lube are safe to be used with silicone toys.

The Vac-U-Lock in the Base of both Toys

Silicone can come in almost every firmness. Choosing the right firmness for your kind of play is important since it impacts the feel and ergonomics of the toy. The firmer the silicone, the less the texture gently massages but “scratches” the sphincter (silicone cannot actually scratch tissue but like all anal toy tear when there is too much stretch too quickly). Also, since the sphincter cannot squeeze the toy in the direction of least resistance, the firmer a toy, the harder to take. On the other hand, softer toys do not stand up and bend away when pressure is applied. So they are harder to handle, especially when riding solo or playing with less trained holes. Since this year, MHT offers four firmness levels with 40% Soft and Extra Firm being new ones which I have not tried yet. Due to the heavy texture and head-heaviness of both toys, I would recommend sticking with 75% Soft and Medium Firmess on the Kthulu and 75% Soft on the Seahorse (why, see below).

Like the firmness, silicone can cover a wide range of colors and patterns. It takes on the colors easily and they do not fade over time. The standard color range includes 13 colors and 12 UV or difficult to handle colors for an up-charge of $29.95 or two marble colors for $39.95.

Seahorse’s Glans

For only $4.95 a Vac-U-Loc hole can be added to every toy. Originally designed to attach the toy to fuck machines, there are a number of nifty accessories out there for this kind of system: Handles, Strap-On harnesses, suction cups and double-dildo connectors. Because of this I highly recommend adding this inexpensive feature to your toy. There are just too many useful scenarios along the way to go cheap on this one – even if you don’t have the accessories. During play I stick my finger in the hole to control the toy more easily.

Playing with the Seahorse and Kthulu

The Seahorse is a mean and demanding toy. Since the grid is not strictly geometrically but twisted – like a fishing net around an object – there is no real resting place for your sphincter. It constantly gets stimulated on one side while needing to relax and open up for another vein on the other side. This makes the Seahorse a toy difficult to take. It is definitively not a scene starter. And most definitively not a width trainer. But when the hole is loose and the anal lips are just flapping around the toy, the Seahorse is a horny fucker! Through the massive base, it has a firm and secure stand, even when bouncing on it hard. The big nuts are a bit hard to grab when playing with a top. If you want to play with a partner, go for the Vac-u-Lock hole for his thumb. Once the toys has been stabilized this way, the big balls are perfect for twisting the toy inside the bottom. Since the texture is equally intense vertically as horizontally, twisting the toy unlocks a (w)hole new dimension. This also makes the toy quite the rosebud bloomer.

The Veiny Fishing Net Texture

Even more than with other toys, the texture intensity makes choosing the right combination of size and firmness important. Usually my advice for choosing a toy is “Don’t buy toys for the hole you have, buy toys for the hole you want.” For the Seahorse my advice is “Look a diameter you can comfortably take, substract 15% and make that number your size guide.” When configuring my toy, I used my usual metric “When in doubt, go big or go home” which landed me at XXXL and leaned towards the Med Firmness because I really want to feel the texture. Despite being anally quite experience and despite using a fair amount of poppers, the toy is too big and to firm to get into the drool-inducing massage flow I get when riding a friend’s Seahorse. If I had to chose again, I would probably go for “just” a large and 75% Soft (40% Soft will most likely keep the toy from standing up straight). The softer silicone is also necessary to unleash the toys full potential. Since it is so thick, it does not really bend, making it difficult to take deep. And this does not even take into account the heavy texture which will really fuck with your second sphincter, especially when the silicone is firm.

Seahorse’s Big Base & Vein Cluster at the Bottom

While the Seahorse starts out nice and becomes a mess further down, Kthulu is quite the opposite. The half-dome at the very tip forces the sphincter open instead of gradually opening it up. Right at the apex the big boils start so the opening process is rather brute force. Because of this it is again not a scene starter but a gape tickler. The complex cluster is best enjoyed in the hands of a skilled top how can not only twist the toy inside the sphincter but can also alter the angle of the penetration. Even small alterations of the attack vector greatly changes the sensation. Since there are nooks and valleys between the bumps, a skilled top can use the Kthulu for prostate stimulation and with the right pressure and firmness for prostate milking.

The Heavily Clustered Tip of Kthulu

Riding it brings out a different kind of sensation. In order to fully enjoy the toy, you have to twist it a bit to find the right orientation of the bumps towards your sphincter. Once found, the bumps will “irritate” the sphincter, making it sensitive. This sensitivity is awesome when riding on the lateral ridges below the bumps – ideally when a bump is pressing against the prostate.

The lower half again is more of a tops tool. Twisting the entwined tentacles creates a sensation of vortex. This is enhanced when twisting in once direction while pushing in and the other while pulling out.

Depthwise, Kthulu is a real advanced toy. Through the “neck” in the middle, the toy has a natural bending point for going deep. However, while it is already a bit of a challenge for the anus to take the tip, for the second sphincter you really need an experienced hole.

The Tentacle Entangled Shaft below the Ridge Textured Neck

All things considered, my testees and I had some fun riding Kthulu or stuffing the hole while lying on the back. But this dildo is best enjoyed with another partner or a fuck machine (which can twist).

Where to buy?

Mr Hankey sells their toys directly through their website. This is the best way to get them when you want to customize them even further. They also run promotions on a regular basis so check their page regular to snatch a bargain. The Seahorse starts at $165.85, the Kthulu at $129.95. But depending on your size and how many extras you add, they can go up beyond $300.

Von | | , ,
Schreibe einen Kommentar

And when the hour glass of temporariness has run out, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless, ineffectual activism has come to an end. When everything around you is silent and still, as in eternity, then eternity will ask you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: Whether you have lived in despair or not.

Søren, Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death

 

Happy holidays perverts! As every year, the most important thing first: If you are struggling or need mental support over the holidays, you can find an overview of international help hotlines here.

What a year it has been… Following the somber tone of last year´s post, I hoped this year to finally focus on toys and kink fun again. But the many elections on the past 12 months have shown that the period of easily won progress for individual rights and social acceptance is over. A welcoming climate has shifted to one where individuals and groups feel entitled and safe enough to attack minorities both verbally and physical. Not a day passes by without reading about attacks on LGBTQ+ people, sex workers or civil rights or civil society activists, even in areas we have considered safe zones.

Besides the attacks, there is a strong movement to role back legislation and protections, starting with trans right. Even if you are not a supporter of trans rights – which you absolutely should because they are just basic human rights! – don´t let yourself be fooled: Once they have taken away these “easy” to take rights, they will come for gay rights, for unmarried rigs, for sexual freedom until they have reached their bigot ἀνόσιος τόπος. So we must remain vigilant and vocal about these attacks and demand and fight for nothing but equality.

So much for the state of the world. On a personal level, at the beginning of the year ToyTorture.com was the target of a hacker attack which resulted in the website going offline. Being a sex toy expert and not an IT guy, I was devastated because I could not figure out how to fix it. After a couple of weeks I deiced to take this as a sign and after twelve years let this project die. But as soon as this decision was reached, I started to miss my little website. Through apps and e-mails I was still getting reader questions which could have been easily answered through a link to a review of 101. As the days got warmer and longer, a friend reached out who offered to help. And within a few weeks managed the miracle to bring back ToyTorture.com! He has earned my eternal gratefulness and I would love to give him credit but he explicitly asks to remain anonymous, considering what he did a favor to the community as my reviews and articles are.

The website came online just when I prepared for my bi-annual visit of a BDSM summer camp in the USA, followed by Folsom Europe – a time where I usually take a vacation from reviews. Just when I prepared to get back to reviewing, a bereavement in the closest family happened which drastically shifted priorities, at least for a few weeks. Add to that some very stressful few weeks at my daytime job and here we are at the end of 2024 already. Luckily, I at least managed to review the Kink 3D Cobra chastity cage just in time before Locktober started. So if your new year resolution is staying locked (more), check that out.

What will 2025 bring? Looking at the current state of the world, how quickly things shift and that even columns of the community – Darklands meaning crane pictures, Folsom Europe being on the second weekend of September – became flexible, I am just hope hoping for the best. For ToyTorture.com it will mean many new reviews. Certainly 10, probably 20, maybe even 30. An E-Stim special? Hopefully! Haven´t had one of those in years. Bigger anal toys? Already waiting in my playroom for the review to be written. Regarding the community, community is what we make off it. Our involvement and engagement, the voluntary work, the kindness and activism that we give, usually comes back tenfold. If we are loud and united, we cannot be ignored. We will not be perceived as victims or easy targets. So even when the future seems dire, don´t despair and retreat but find allies and together vocally demand the respect, the security and human rights which are are entitled to.

Regardless if you are celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, pigmas or are just enjoying a few days off and look forward to the opportunity to indulge in great food: I wish you happy and merry days among your loved ones and (chosen) family. For those who are struggling, know you are loved and there are peoplere people waiting for and celebrating you just the way you are. And as the new year approaches, remember to stay strong, stay united, stay kinky, stay optimistic and strive for the better. Hopefully in a few years, I will be able to write a more light-hearted holiday message again.

We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven. That which we are, we are:
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield!

Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ulysses

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer III – Gay Board Games

Von | | ,
Schreibe einen Kommentar

This week’s temperatures (at least in middle Europe) have confirmed: Winter has arrived. And with it long, cold nights which are best spent in company. For inspiration on tools for sexual company, check out virtually any other review on this website. For social company take a look at these two gay board games from Reroll Works.

Gay Sauna the Board Game

First, let’s take a look at their debut game: Gay Sauna the Board Gay Sauna the Board Game I heard about this some time last year but sadly could not get my hands on it Germany. It sounded like the perfect main game of the evening for my kinky gay board game group in Dresden after we lightend the mood with a quick game of NSFW Unstable Unicorns and a few rounds of Beauty Sekt (sparkling wine with guava-lychee juice). But then life happened, I have lost track of this game. Imagine my surprise when I found it on the shelves of Underground in Amsterdam.

A friend of mine was able to play a demo round at the game trade show SPIEL in Essen. He said that you could really tell that Gay Saune the Board Game was made by gays who had an intimate knowledge of the cruisy sauna scene. And you see that the creators are board game nerds, having designed a complex, great equipped and executed game. If you want to learn more about Gay Sauna the Board Game, there are a couple of reviews and walk throughs on YouTube. Browsing their webstore for this article showed me that they also released an R-rated set of cardsR-rated set of cards which I did not know about. Depending on your or the gift receiver’s play style, I would consider buying the bundlebuying the bundle a must to at least have the option to spice things up.

The Dick Sits with Expansion Packs

This year they release a second game called „The Dick SitsThe Dick Sits“ which is about being a litteral ass holes and getting stretched to take ALL the dicks. Being a card game, this will be a quicker game than Gay Sauna the Board Game – and even more hillarious. The box looks like having a small footprint so it could be a litteral stock stuffer. And priced below 25€ it is almost still secret santa material (this rite has escalated quite a lot money-wise since I was a kid…). Like all good card games, there are expansion packs on Body Functions, Pride Dicks and Kitchen Utensiles so you already gift ideas for occasions to come (I wonder if they be interested in doing a ToyTorture.com Best of Anal Toy expansion pack…).

A lot of kinksters are nerds, so these games are a good way to spice up one of their favorite group activity while keeping the pants on. And if a round heats properly heats you up, you can always head to the sauna together afterwards.

If you order by tomorrow, Dec 16th 2024 they guarantee a delivery before Christmas in Europe – which probably also includes potential NYE’s board game parties. But even after the holidays, these games will spice up your (gay) board game nights. Can’t wait to try out my copy of Gay Sauna the Board Game with my „Gear & Games“ group in January. Watch this space for a thorough review early next year.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer II – Cockeyekink Custom Stainless Steel Pendants and Harnesses

Von | | , ,
Schreibe einen Kommentar

Sometimes you just need a little something for someone special. A token of gratitude, a sign that someone is dear without putting pressure on him to re-gift. Or – if you are going full Martha Steward – a little charm to adore the ribbon on a wrapped gift. For a special kinky twist, this week’s stock stuffer are the varios stainless streel accessories from Cockeyekink. Based in Seattle, they have quickly made a name for high quality customizable stainless steel accessories. From classical dog tags over custom text bone tags for all those puppies, alphas, betas and handlers to simple individually colors paw pendants they offer something for ever kink. On they website they showcase a great number of different designs, symbols and iconographies. But you can always approach them with a custom design which would be the perfect gift for your house, leather family or pack. Though you might be a bit late for a big custom order for Christmas.

Bulldog Harness with Poppers Pig Icon

Piss Pig Harness with Suspender Straps

Of course, Cockeyekink is most famous for their harnesses which comes in two styles: Bulldog or Bulldog with Suspender Straps. The stainless steel plates boldly display your kink. And the wide straps and massive buckles give off a heavy duty vibe. They are definitively not made for circuit party twinks but for heavy players who engage in serious kink. Again, the plates either come for a pre-designed range or can be done with individual art work and the leather color can be chosen to match your existing gear.

Different Versions of the Bulldog Harness with Suspender Straps

I have been eyeing their Bulldog with Suspender Straps for a couple of years now. So if anybody is still looking for a Christmas gift for me, send me a message… 😉

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer I – Small Latex Bags from VAST

Von | | ,
Schreibe einen Kommentar

Too often life happens while you make other planes. Enthused with ToyTorture.com being back up and finally looking functional and somewhat pretty in an oldschool minimalistic way again I planed to start new reviews in October. A bereavement in the closest family, cleaning out an apartment (not the anticipation fun filled clean out we usually talk about here…) and extreme workload at the daytime job which pays the bills and ultimately for this website forced me to abandon this plan. Not sure when reviews will return. Maybe in December, maybe in January or February. But, the Stocking Stuffer on the advent Sundays leading up to Christmas are a beloved tradition on ToyTorture.com that of course they will return this year!

The Three Sizes and some of the Colors of the VAST Phone Holster Bag made ouf of Latex

The Phone Holster suspended from a Latex Harness

End of September I visited VAST in Dortmund to give feedback on some toy designs. While waiting for the mastermind behind the Breathing System I strolled through the store and stumbled across these rubber holster bags. This design has been around in leather and most recently neoprene but I have never seen it executed in rubber!

This is a game changer for social events like the Pride parades, street fairs or bag nights. Most leather gear has some kind of pockets to store at least a few cards and a phone and even MX pants now come with pockets. But the sleek and smooth look of rubber does not really for carrying essentials around. So rubberists were either forced to mix materials or stuff their socks and suffer having a drowned phone from all the sweat running downwards. The VAST Holster Bags of a real useful and horny solution.

The Holster Bag attached to the Thigh using the two included Straps

The bags come in three sizes which all have the same internal size of 8cm width and 18cm heights which should be large enough for most phones. Depthwise you can choose between Medium with 2cm (enough for a phone, two or three cards and a bit of cash), Large at 3cm (enough space to also take the Folsom Europe booklet along or the diaper of an XL poppers bottle…) and XL which at 5cm is enough for a small camera or almost a small fisting kit if you use silicone lube. Being made out of finest rubber they are of course also the perfect breathing bag if you need a whiff of the delicious rubber latex scent.

The Back of the Holster Bag

You can attach the Holster either to a belt or harness using the hanger or turn it into a crossbody bag using the two included 64cm long straps. The straps are made out of VAST’s own aramide reinforced Superior Latex. They feature a D-ring each so are basically bondage belts. Of course they can be used to attach the bag to your thigh, upper arm or as a belt to secure it and keep it from dangling when being suspended from a harness. Speaking of security: The bag is closed with by a Loxx claps which is easy to open by pulling on the head. At first this is counter-intuitive and pulls on the bag. Thus you notice when somebody is fiddling with your belongings, making it extra secure at large events.

Both the medium and large Phone Holster Bag cost 149€, the XL 159€. They all come with a hanger and the two straps. VAST offers 9 standard colors of plain latex sheet. But they will happily make you a custom colored one to match your signature colors. On request VAST can also laser-engrave your personal logo into the bag to make it a real personal piece of gear.

Some of the Colors the VAST Cluth Bag comes in

Speaking of fashion, a little bit further into the start into the large selection of lady latex which covers the range from high fashion to hardcore kink over everyday attire – if you dare. An interesting way of bringing your kink into your daily life is through a clutch made out of VAST’s Superior Latex.

The almost Chanel Like Rhombus Patter of the Laser-Engraved Latex

It has the same great properties of the Holster bag, can withstand large force due to the aramid reinforced rubber, hates natural oils like all latex (be careful when carrying cosmetics inside!), is closed by a Loxx clasp and just smells delicious. Measuring W18xD3.5xH12.5cm in the inside it is large enough to hold a phone, keys, small wallet, tissues, a lipstick and even a pair of handcuffs. The should strap is attached to high quality stainless steel trim. It has a maximum length of 110cm and is detachable. Like the phone holster the clutch comes in 9 standard colors but can of course be custom ordered. The sleek latex version costs 159€. For an additionl 10€ you can get a version with a laser-engraved rhombus patter which gives the clutch a very upscale, almost Chanel-like appeal.