Latigo Slapper

Vendor: Bare Leatherworks

The Bare Leatherworks Fullsize Latigo Slapper


This toy came second in last week’s which-toy-to-review poll on Bluesky and Insta. So let’s see if it is any good.
Construction
Being the slapper, the impact part of this toy is a long loop of stiff 6mm thick latigo leather. The edges are deburred so there are not accidental chafes. The toy comes in three length: The full size which I have bought with 42cm slapper length, the midsize with 25cm and the handy size with 15cm. At different summer camp I had the chance to play with all three length.

The leather belt is attached to a comfortable handle. On the handy size, the handle is 18cm long in total; on the full and midsize 23.5cm. The handle follows a classic flogger design. At the top, three sets of three screws attach the leather strap to the central rod, thus forming a bit of a top “knot”. The slapper is eqipped with what Bare Leatherworks calls a “ProGrip”. Other than on the smooth default handle style on the ProGrip a thick wire runs around the central core to texture it for better grip. The lining received an upgrade: Previously the grip was covered in rubber (like on their massage flogger). Over time it became a bit slippery due to sweat, especially on long and intense scenes. On my slapper, it has been replaced with rubberized fabric tape which is a bit coarser. This leads to a significant better grip. The bottom of the handle is again thicker and weighted to for a counter-balance “pummel”. Because of this the slapper is impressively well balanced! The toy is finished with an eyelet a the bottom with a nice leather loop threaded through it for securing it to the wrist and easy storage.

Top: The Latigo Slapper with the Fabric Tape Lining
Bottom: Massage Flogger with Rubber Lining

This toy is a labor of love from two kinksters’ side hustle in the Pacific north west. You can tell that this toy was designed and made by sadists for sadists. The build is heavy duty for long, intense scenes. This slapper will not fail you. But, this is not a mass produced toy by crafts people who do nothing else but a bit of a hobby. So you can find some charming imperfections like not all screws being in line or sitting perfectly inside the grommets. I don’t mind at all as it does not impact the impact sensation of this impact toy. But if you have OCD or look for perfect execution, this might annoy you.

Example of Slightly Off Screws

Play with the Latigo Slapper

This toy is a one trick pony: It is a mid- to end scene stingy toy (for punishing). A friend of mine called my full size “like a short and narrow prison strap” which I find an accurate description. The blows can be targeted well and if you put power into them really HIT. While with the handy size you can do some tapping or light hitting, the larger ones are to flappy for that. You really need acceleration (= kinetic energy) to straighten them out which of course increases the impact intensity. Because of this they cannot be used for warming up.

When you buy this toy, you have to be patient because it really takes time to break it in properly. Off the shelf the thick latigo is very stiff. The handy sized one almost performs like a paddle, the full size is almost difficult to throw because it flaps around a bit. I wish Bare Leatherworks would have used softer latigo like Mr S does for their restrain belts. In order to break mine in, I am hitting roof poles since bottoms are hard to come by here.

6mm Thick Latigo Leather

Until properly broken in, the larger slappers have a bit of thud to them. After all, the leather is a lot of accelerated mass hitting the ass. But the material cannot hide its heritage. Being made out of stiff latigo leather, this toy is a stinger! Hitting hard delivers a sharp blow. Once broken in, the thud takes a backseat and there is almost only sting left. The sting is most intense at the tip where the loop connects the two sides of the slapper.

The Braided Leather Loop at the bottom

Broken in, the midsize is the easiest to target and control because it roughly has the size of a pair of buttocks. My full size needs bit of practice; it almost handles like a flogger. When targeting, you need to consider that the tip might wrap around, delivering a sharp pain to a not warmed up body area.

Being just 5cm shorter than most standard sized floggers, I sometime incorporate my slapper into flogging or whipping scenes when the bottom wants and needs it hard. Hitting the already bruised and irritated shoulders with the tip of the slapper will make almost every bottom jump.

Conclusion: Nasty and intense stinger which needs some time to master

Pro

Cons

Where to get

Price

Well balanced

Needs time to break in

Bare Leatherworks

Handy: $77.95

Mid: $97.95

Full: $109.95

Comfortable to hold over extended periods of time

Execution not as precise as on other toys

Fetters The Orb

Fetters The Orb CBT Impact Toy

Vendor: Regulation

If this design looks familiar, you have probably seen toys massage tools from Bongers which are made in the USA. Usually pervertables are cheaper than dedicated toys made out of fetish materials like leather or rubber. But even before the tariff war madness started, Bongers were already twice as expensive in the EU than this toy. So it definitively worth taking a look at it now!
Construction
Regulation calls this impact implement “Paddle” which I find a bit misleading. In my imagination a paddle is a blade- or shovelshaped impact surface leading to a handle section. The Orb however is 7.3cm diameter sphere (or orb) of soft foam covered in soft black garment leather. Around the circumference of the ball runs a metal ring covered in red leather keeping the ball in place.

Attached to this is a 32cm long piece of spring steel covered in a spiral of red leather. The lower 12cm of the rod are covered in two layers of soft leather to form a thicker handle section. The leather sheath is sown together with a cross stitching which is a nice design touch. Sadly the edges are neither burnished or deburred. Due to the leather being soft, the edges do not feel sharp. But these finishing touches missing are kind of weird in an overall very refined and high quality toy.

Detail of the Stitching and the D-ring for Storage

At the bottom a perpendicular leather strap is holding a small D-ring in place for easy storage of the toy.

Play with The Orb

The main play area for The Orb is CBT, or more precisely ball busting. The head is small and nimble enough to fit well between the thighs, targeting the small family jewels. It’s round shape makes the balls nicely jump to the left and the right if they are not kept in place by a ball stretcher. Being made purely out of foam, the impact sensation is pure thud and has an intensity sweetspot for this delicate body area. Since the shaft is made out of stiffer spring steel, it will develop a bit of momentum and on the other hand not transfer the entire kinetic energy onto the balls. Being so stiff, I would not recommend using it for snapping the balls. The intensity will be very high and hard to control.

The Foam Sphere being held in Place by a Leather Covered Metal Ring

If you want to snap, do it on the ass or the thighs. The Orb is a great thuddy yet focused impact toy. Due to the small impact surface, it is not really made for warm-up. But hitting just one spot can create agony even with minimal sting throughout the scene. If you hit hard, The Orb is a bit of a bruiser but not too bad if you don’t hit any veins directly.

However, if you want to add (a bit of) sting to your play, twist it 90° and hit with the orb’s metal frame. While the sting is a bit softened by the soft leather lining, being made out of metal, there is still a lot of kinetic energy transferred onto the subs body. Because of this I would not recommend hitting the balls like that. There chances of accidentially hitting the epididymis or the seminal dutcs are too high which almost always leads to serious injuries and loosing the testicle. For an intense glans spanking, bastinado or hitting the sensitive area between the thighs and the ass cheeks just RIGHT, this small impact area is perfect!

The Unfinished Edge of the Handle above the Leather Covered Shaft

In addition to that, you can also grab the toy by the orb and hit with the handle. Despite being covered in soft leather, it has some sting to it, especially when you hit with the cross stitching. This is firmer and textured and this will sting more. But be careful when you are hitting. The D-ring will flap around and also accelerate, leading to very stingy afterclap.

Conclusion: Thuddy ball impact toy with a stingy side

Pro

Cons

Where to get

Price

Unique design & sensations

Handle a bit unfinished

Regulation

£34.99

Easy to target

Strong stingy side despite thuddy heart

Rebreathing Conversion Kit for Russion GP5 Gas Mask

Important Security Information

As hot and horny breath play is, NEVER DO IT ALONE OR BY YOURSELF! Every year we lose several members of the kink community to self-breathplay. No matter how much you think you have figured out the safety and falls backs, the is always a slight and sadly often lethal chance of it failing.

This especially applies to playing with inhalants like poppers or N2O/ laughing gas.

If you are curious about breath play, look for experienced partners to introduce you to this kink and its intricacies. Please just never do it alone!

According to the click numbers and reader questions, the VAST Breathing System is a very in demand toy for heavy gear kinksters and breath play enthusiasts. The issue with the system is that you need a face mask with separate ports for breathing in and breathing out. While this is easily done with anesthesia face masks, when it comes to gas masks, you were basically stuck with the AVON S10 or FM12 which due to Brexit are now hard to come by and are expensive (you can get a fully converted FM12 with a rubber head harness at VAST for 419€).

The Russian GP5 is probably the gas mask which most (rubber/ gear) kinkster start with. Millions were made between 1962 and 1990, the cold war brought them as far as East Germany. Because of this, the GP5 is so widely available and inexpensive that I struggle to name a kinkster who has not had one during their kink journey. But, due to their basic design with a – technically not, yet still compatible – GM40 thread for attaching a hose or filter and a simple oval back pressure valve, it could not be incorporated into the Breathing System or other BC systems. There was no way to create a closed breathing circuit. Until now.

Like all components of the Breathing System, a 3D printed unit does the trick. But unlike the conversion kit for the AVON gas masks, this one is very easy and quickly installed, without any injury risks.

First, you need to remove the membrane of the back pressure valve by simply gently pulling on it.

Then unscrew the two-piece closure from the main unit with the provided hex key. Be careful, the hex nuts are really small and fall out easily. Don’t do this over carpet! The unit comes with a spare one. But believe me, during the assembly process more then once a nut will fall out. So take care of the one you have – or buy an already upgraded GP-5 from VAST.

Next put the main unit which will split the air flow over the front of the GP-5.

Now first loosely screw the first part of the closure onto the main unit..

then the second part.

The manufacturing tolerance of the GP5 was very… liberal. So don’t expect the closure to perfectly fit. Because of that it is important to not tighten the screws directly tightly but gradually go around. Otherwise you will not be able to tighten it properly. A tight fit is vital to get it air-tight and use the GP5 for breath play!

After these few and easy steps, you have turned an artifact from the Cold War into a horny too for intense breath control! The top port is for breathing in, the bottom – also equipped with a back pressure valve – for breathing out. If you should forget which one is for which, they are labeled.

If the GP5 is not your style and your love the S10/FM12, VAST now also offer low-profile, right-angled GM40 hoses which look very hot and are quite convenient, especially in confined spaced.

Fetters Leather Studded Paddle

The Fetters Leather Studded Paddle

Vendor: Regulation

Construction
Like last week, this paddle has a very traditional design. The head with its slightly rounded corners is 20cm long and tapes almost shovel like from 10cm above the handle to 10.8cm at the top. At the bottom it flows into a 14cm long handle which taper slightly for a secure grip. Two layers of 4mm thick bridle leather with a metal spring in the middle are the basis of this paddle. They are glued and sown together for a compact and solid feel. The edges are deburred and burnished so there is now unintentional chafing.

Through the top layer six rows of three 4.5mm tall pointy, yet dull Ø7mm studs each are screwed. Below the rivets a third, at 3.5mm a bit thinner layer of bridle leather is attached to the top of the handle. Where it ends at the head five (!) rivets support the glue in keeping this layer in place. This monopiece construction with the reinforced handle gives the paddle a rigidity and thus most kinetic energy is transferred onto the sub.

The Embossed Fetters Logo with the Raising Studs

At the bottom a 18cm long leather string loop helps the securing the paddle to the wrist even in heavy scenes. And once you are done with play, it can be easily stored away.

Play with the Leather Studded Paddle

This review was a multiple reader request. I actually did not know about this toy. But since this paddle does not break the bank, I simply bought it, because I was curious how the studs would feel.

The Studded Paddle’s Smooth Side

The toys has a bit weird ergonomics. There are several categories of toys: Small and nimble for targeting small areas, long and narrow for hitting both cheeks at ones, about-palm-size for single cheek targeting or over the knee. The Leather Studded Paddle sits in between the latter two categories which require a bit adjusted hitting techniques. When hitting a single cheek target with the upper third of the head (the central stud of the second row from the top is a good focal point), not the center. Otherwise, the edge will hit the apex of the other cheek which usually has denser fat tissue, does not compress as well and thus diverts the blow. In actual play it is not as dramatic as it might sound. But when I dealt my first blows, I was a bit puzzled that they did not land where I wanted them to and it took a few minutes to adjust.

The Triple Layer Handle Design

Once you have gotten over this, you are going to hit HARD! Due to being so stiff and rigid, it is a very stingy paddle. With very light tapping, you can use the smooth side for warm-up. But as soon as you increase the intensity, it starts to sting quite severely quite firmly. Again, this is something you need to get use to. Since it is more rigid and has less flex than comparable paddles, lower levels of intensity will have a noticeable effect.

This is even more with the studded side. The metal peaks focus the impact energy in these 18 points until the full paddle hits. The stiff leather in combination with the metal spring already has little give, the metal is unforgiving. Then using the paddle on other, less well padded areas (for example the hands), keep that in mind. Hitting joints or bones with the studs can lead to serious injuries.

While the smooth side already colors quickly, the metal studs make the textured side a bruised.

The studs are each about 2cm apart from each others. So each and every one can be felt separately. For sensation play, you can drag them over the subs body. They are “rounded” enough to offer a nice bruised and tender tissue massage on already impacted body areas.

The Dull yet Spikey Studs

Sadly, on design choice makes the studs a little bit hard to use. The studs are only a millimeter taller than the additional leather layer to reinforce the handle. That makes using the full studded impact area difficult. During sensation play, you have to be careful not to unintentionally push the unburnished and thus slightly edge of the handle reinforcement against the skin. This is a minor point, especially considering that the toy was not intentionally designed for sensation play. But still, I would appreciate of the reinforcement was on the smooth side.

Due to the weight of the metal spikes, the paddle is a bit unbalanced. The pivot point is below the bottom row of studs. It is not terribly bad but definitively noticeable. You should now swing this paddle from the wrist or tab over extended periods of time.

Conclusion: Intense, well-made paddle with some ergonomic quirks

Pro

Cons

Where to get

Price

Heavy for intense sensations even with low impact energy

Weird ergonomics

Regulation

£38.99

Loop for securing and storing

A bit unbalanced

Very wellmade

Fetters The Claw

Fetters the Claw CBT Paddle from Regulation

Vendor: Regulation

Over the past year, I have accumulated quite a few new impact toys, unintentionally almost all from Regulation. Since I haven’t done an impact special in quite a while, let’s kick off the new year with looking at tools helping you „reward“ your sub when he has been a bad boy.

Construction

The Claw has a traditional paddle design with a 71mm round head that flows into a 140mm long handle. It is made out of two layers of thick bridle leather with a metal spring in the middle for added stability for years to come. The two layers are sown and glued together; the edges are beveled, deburred and burnished. This gives the paddle a quality feel and it lies solidly in the hand. A nice touch is the embossed Fetters logo below the spiked pad.

While one side of the head is just the smooth bridle leather, on the other side there is a 59mm round firm foam pad covered in red leather. On top of the pad there is a circle of eight really pointy metal cones with an additional one in the center, giving the toy its name.

The Smooth Side of the Paddle Stinges quite a Bit

At the bottom of the shaft a lever-operated carabiner is riveted onto it. The eyelet diameter of 10mm is large enough to attach the paddle to a belt loop which is a great additional feature compared to just a D-ring for playroom storage. Since due to the ergonomics of this paddle you will not deal big blows with the Claw (see below), I do not really miss a loop for the wrist.

Play with The Claw

This section is going to be divided in two parts. First I will talk about the smooth leather side, then about the spiked one because this is truly a two-sided toy.

Regulation markets this toy as a ball busting paddle. Because of this the head is small and the handle just as long as it needs to comfortably hold the toy. This way it is nimble and can easily target small body areas. It is narrow enough to smack the balls between thighs as long as there is enough space for the balls to hang freely (for example on a bondage chair). But it is equally good for falaka or hitting that sensitive spot where the thighs meet the buttocks. Having such a relatively small impact area, it focuses the kinetic energy and this impact force on a small area, making the Claw a bit of a bruiser. Having a shorts handle, it is a bit difficult to gather momentum and thus deal really heavy blows on the ass and thigh. Since swats on the balls are generally supposed to be bit softer and more controlled, this is not really a negative thing.

The Carabiner is for Easy Attaching and Storing but Developes Momentum when Hitting

The spring inside the paddle makes it just a little bit bounce and thus perfect for tapping and snapping. When tapping the carabiner swings and develops momentum. My recommendation is holding the shaft on the rivet between thumb, index and middle finger while restraining the carabiner inside the palm. Being so small, the paddle is also a bit head-heavy and unbalanced. But since it is not made for heavy and continuous hitting, it is unlikely that it will make the wrist tired.

Since the bridle leather is smooth, firm and has a lacquered surface, the impact sensation is stingy. Being so light, it is not really made for warm-up. It either stings or is almost unnoticeable.

So much for the smooth side. Now to the spikes.

These Spikes give The Claw its Name

Let me reiterate: The spikes are pointy and sharp! They are not like on other paddles where the spikes are dulled or cone-shaped rivets. You can cause serious injuries with them, especially on the balls. The scrotum skin is thin and sensitive. Light tapping with this toy is ok. Any stronger force will lead to breaking the skin and cause bleeding. This effect is even intensified when moving the toy in a scratching movement. It is actually a good thing that due to the ergonomics you cannot deal hard blows. This could lead to flesh wounds! The padded pad gives the spikes a bit of bounce but it does not really softens the blows. It is a nice design feature and makes the paddle a little bit more intimidating looking but I do not see the functional use for it since it does not dull the blows. So, what are the spikes good for? I used them for a combination of sensation play and mind fuck. Drag them over the bottom’s skin, varying the pressure from a light scratch to digging in deeply, telling him that soon they will dig into his body, propelled by full force, will most likely inflict terror. Then start light tapping, scratch a bit again, play with his fear and anticipation. Due to being so sharp, do not used gear to soften them. They will tear rubber, scratch leather and rip lycra or cotton.

Detail of the Stichting and Finished Edges

One unexpected use case is (AB)DL play: If you put on several layers of diapers you need to perforate the outside plastic layer of the inside diaper to allow the liquid to get to the next layer. You need to do this without destroying containment of the absorbent stuffing so randomly ripping with a knife does not work. The Claw is perfect for this! The spikes puncture, rip and tear the plastic while keeping the stuffing intact. This also means that the ass is protected from injuries during the process. And if your little is naughty, the Claw is a great, not too severe OTK paddle.

Conclusion: Nasty small paddle with a dangerously mean side

Pros

Cons

Where to get

Price

Small and nimble for precise hitting

… that flops around when hitting

Regulation

£29.99

With the coupon code ToyTorture you get 10% off your purchase

High quality feel

A bit unbalanced

Carabiner for easy attachment…

Cobra Chastity Cage Follow-Up

The Kink3D Cobra Chastity Cage in Sizee R Wide

Vendor: Kink3D

Three months ago, just in time for Locktober, I posted the review of the Kink3D Cobra – at the moment probably the most successful chastity cage in the world. That review was more focused on the toy itself, how it is made and how you can play with it. This short follow-up will give you an insight how the cage performance over an extended period of time. Hopefully this helps some of you make the right decision regarding the chastity new year’s resolutions.

As already written in the initial review, finding the right ring and cage size is paramount for an enjoyable long-term chastity experience. Bases on my cockring size, I went for a #4 ring and I am not happy with it. While the size of the ring itself is ok, the ergonomics of the cage pull the ring up- and forward, applying pressure on the taint, especially when moving. After a couple of hours this creates a burning sensation due to circulation being restricted. Ultimately I could not wear my cage for more than a few of hours.

The Cage, Ring and Lock of the Cobra

Talking to friends who are long-term wearers I tried many things to alleviate the pain: Moisturizer, special chastity creams, milking grease, putting a band-aid at the spot. Nothing really worked. Since there cage wielded quite some leverage on the ring, I had hoped that my body would adjust over time, like a stretcher causes your balls to drop down. Maybe my total wear time was too small but I did not notice a difference. So if after a couple of days, you are still seriously annoyed by the sensations your ring gives you, get a larger one.

The Color Options: Pink, Black and Aqua. White will be Available in January

This cage sizing advice will be VERY controversial in the chastity community, but, especially when you are starting out and are in doubt of the size, go for longer and wider. I am well aware that for many part of the chastity experience is constantly feeling the cage around your dick and that even the faintest erection should strain and struggle against the bars. But, the freer the dick, the more space he has to grow, the more easily he will get accustomed to being locked. After much consideration I deliberately went for an R Wide. The width was necessary because I am uncut and have a meaty glans. Other chastity device which I have tried before (Bon4, Bird Locked, CB6000, to name a few) had a too small internal diameter and pushed my foreskin back when locking up. This was painful and prohibited being locked over extended periods of time. Now my dicks moves a little bit inside the cage but when being locked 24/7 this is preferable to being constantly irritated. Lengthwise my dick could have probably been squeezed into an S+. Being uncut with a big PA, I wanted more space for my glans because foreskin being squeezed between the cage bars and the PA metal is not a sexy feeling. Furthermore extra room meant, I almost never had issues with waking up due to nightly boners being painfully reined in. Cleaning was also a bit easier and it best, like good underwear, I never felt the cage. While many want to feel the cage, when time of horniness and desperation makes you go crazy, less stimulation and feeling of bondage can actually be useful, at work for example.

The Leverage Dynamics of a Chastity Cage

As your dick gets used to being locked (or actually starts to shrink due to not being used or the cavernous bodies get pushed into the lower abdomen), you might feel the desire to size down your cage. As you get deeper and more experience in a kink, your toy requirements change and you need new ones – very much like with anal play where the toys get bigger over time.

Over the three months, I once had a serious chafing accident at my taint after a long bike ride. Maybe with a curved ring this could have been prevented. But I valued the opportunity to explore this part of the chastity experience many long-term wearers are experience. Once the little wound appeared, I took the cage off and first put zinc-oxide and panthenol cream on the spot to facilitate the healing process. Three days later the wound was healed. I switched to milking grease and put the cage back on, only for the wound to re-appear after half an hour. That taught me to patient and really give everything time to heal and recover. The mechanical forces at work around your groin are quite big and having a solid object there puts great stress on your skin. Give it enough time to recover once it has been injured to properly and fully enjoy the experience again afterwards.

The Design makes Cleaning Easy while Locked

All that being said, if you have found the right size of cage and ring for your body and progress at the locked boy journey, the Kink3D Cobra is a damn comfortable cage. I wore it to the office several times and despite R Wide being one of the larger cages, it was unnoticeable under jeans and chinos and even tuxedo pants (though that was just an experiment at home). At the gym, it is a bit more present under loose gym shorts, for example when you are doing bench presses. When you go swimming in speedos it of course shows quite a lot. But regardless what you are doing, how active you are, if you are working out or go cycling, the Cobra is comfortable to constantly worn and strong enough to withstand the physical forces being put on the cage.

The Cobra is Comfortable to Wear, even over extended Periods of Time

The last point actually separates it from many lookalike knockoffs you can find on the internet. They are mostly cheap die casting and break when being exposed to force – or heat. A friend had his cage break while walking out of a sauna. My Cobra has been with me to gay bath houses several times and looks and feels like the day I have gotten it.

As I have written, over the years I have tried many chastity cages and never reviewed them. They were just too small for my dick to allow for an extended test. The Kink3D Cobra with its many different sizes is actually the first one which every fit me. And being so cleverly designed and well made, it is actually one I could see wearing for days and weeks – if I get a new ring and a key holder. So if you are looking for a trustworthy tool to turn explore chastity, the Cobra is well worth the price.

Seahorse & Kthulu

Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: 13 colors included & 12 for a surcharge
Firmness: Soft to Medium, custom degrees possible
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Mr Hankey’s Toys

This review has been long in the making. It was actually scheduled to be the first review of 2024 because for years I have been asked to review the Seahorse. Despite being a texture lover, I was never that keen on the Seahorse because the design freaked me a bit out (like tentacles). But having taken one for the team several times and constantly pushing my boundaries, I decided to give this toy a go. Alas, then the cyber attack happened and there were no reviews anymore. So, instead of opening, I am closing the year with these BIG boys.

Construction

When looking at the toys, I was inclined to call this the sea monster edition because both toys are in the broadest way nautically inspired.

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Seahorse & Kthulu

The Seahorse is best describe as a (almost) human dick with a fishing net wrapped around. The glans is medium-tapering and the glans rim is textured with little bumps. The thick shaft is slightly wedge-shaped and bulges at the bottom. The entire shaft is textured with faint ridges. The stem is overlaid with five vertical (one of them “ventral”) and five horizontal veins which form a grid pattern. There the ridges meet, more or less small bumps indicate knots. Below the bulge at the bottom and above the nuts there is a cluster of three thick veins. The bottom are two thick realistic balls which are also textured with the ridges.

While the Seahorse is almost human, Kthulu is truly a great old monster. Instead of glans there is just a half-dome. The upper third of the toys is texture with a random cluster of half-domes and bumps, almost boils which are textured with shallow veins. Below it is a narrow neck which is textured with horizontal ridges. The lower half is a cluster of twisted vertical veins which look like tentacles grabbing the circular base.

Like all MHT toys, both are made out of platinum silicone. The materials is 100% body-safe, super-smooth and easy to clean. A little grain of salt is that silicone toys must not be used with silicone or hybrid lube. Both kinds of lube will disintegrate the surface. Water and oil based lube are safe to be used with silicone toys.

The Vac-U-Lock in the Base of both Toys

Silicone can come in almost every firmness. Choosing the right firmness for your kind of play is important since it impacts the feel and ergonomics of the toy. The firmer the silicone, the less the texture gently massages but “scratches” the sphincter (silicone cannot actually scratch tissue but like all anal toy tear when there is too much stretch too quickly). Also, since the sphincter cannot squeeze the toy in the direction of least resistance, the firmer a toy, the harder to take. On the other hand, softer toys do not stand up and bend away when pressure is applied. So they are harder to handle, especially when riding solo or playing with less trained holes. Since this year, MHT offers four firmness levels with 40% Soft and Extra Firm being new ones which I have not tried yet. Due to the heavy texture and head-heaviness of both toys, I would recommend sticking with 75% Soft and Medium Firmess on the Kthulu and 75% Soft on the Seahorse (why, see below).

Like the firmness, silicone can cover a wide range of colors and patterns. It takes on the colors easily and they do not fade over time. The standard color range includes 13 colors and 12 UV or difficult to handle colors for an up-charge of $29.95 or two marble colors for $39.95.

Seahorse’s Glans

For only $4.95 a Vac-U-Loc hole can be added to every toy. Originally designed to attach the toy to fuck machines, there are a number of nifty accessories out there for this kind of system: Handles, Strap-On harnesses, suction cups and double-dildo connectors. Because of this I highly recommend adding this inexpensive feature to your toy. There are just too many useful scenarios along the way to go cheap on this one – even if you don’t have the accessories. During play I stick my finger in the hole to control the toy more easily.

Playing with the Seahorse and Kthulu

The Seahorse is a mean and demanding toy. Since the grid is not strictly geometrically but twisted – like a fishing net around an object – there is no real resting place for your sphincter. It constantly gets stimulated on one side while needing to relax and open up for another vein on the other side. This makes the Seahorse a toy difficult to take. It is definitively not a scene starter. And most definitively not a width trainer. But when the hole is loose and the anal lips are just flapping around the toy, the Seahorse is a horny fucker! Through the massive base, it has a firm and secure stand, even when bouncing on it hard. The big nuts are a bit hard to grab when playing with a top. If you want to play with a partner, go for the Vac-u-Lock hole for his thumb. Once the toys has been stabilized this way, the big balls are perfect for twisting the toy inside the bottom. Since the texture is equally intense vertically as horizontally, twisting the toy unlocks a (w)hole new dimension. This also makes the toy quite the rosebud bloomer.

The Veiny Fishing Net Texture

Even more than with other toys, the texture intensity makes choosing the right combination of size and firmness important. Usually my advice for choosing a toy is “Don’t buy toys for the hole you have, buy toys for the hole you want.” For the Seahorse my advice is “Look a diameter you can comfortably take, substract 15% and make that number your size guide.” When configuring my toy, I used my usual metric “When in doubt, go big or go home” which landed me at XXXL and leaned towards the Med Firmness because I really want to feel the texture. Despite being anally quite experience and despite using a fair amount of poppers, the toy is too big and to firm to get into the drool-inducing massage flow I get when riding a friend’s Seahorse. If I had to chose again, I would probably go for “just” a large and 75% Soft (40% Soft will most likely keep the toy from standing up straight). The softer silicone is also necessary to unleash the toys full potential. Since it is so thick, it does not really bend, making it difficult to take deep. And this does not even take into account the heavy texture which will really fuck with your second sphincter, especially when the silicone is firm.

Seahorse’s Big Base & Vein Cluster at the Bottom

While the Seahorse starts out nice and becomes a mess further down, Kthulu is quite the opposite. The half-dome at the very tip forces the sphincter open instead of gradually opening it up. Right at the apex the big boils start so the opening process is rather brute force. Because of this it is again not a scene starter but a gape tickler. The complex cluster is best enjoyed in the hands of a skilled top how can not only twist the toy inside the sphincter but can also alter the angle of the penetration. Even small alterations of the attack vector greatly changes the sensation. Since there are nooks and valleys between the bumps, a skilled top can use the Kthulu for prostate stimulation and with the right pressure and firmness for prostate milking.

The Heavily Clustered Tip of Kthulu

Riding it brings out a different kind of sensation. In order to fully enjoy the toy, you have to twist it a bit to find the right orientation of the bumps towards your sphincter. Once found, the bumps will “irritate” the sphincter, making it sensitive. This sensitivity is awesome when riding on the lateral ridges below the bumps – ideally when a bump is pressing against the prostate.

The lower half again is more of a tops tool. Twisting the entwined tentacles creates a sensation of vortex. This is enhanced when twisting in once direction while pushing in and the other while pulling out.

Depthwise, Kthulu is a real advanced toy. Through the “neck” in the middle, the toy has a natural bending point for going deep. However, while it is already a bit of a challenge for the anus to take the tip, for the second sphincter you really need an experienced hole.

The Tentacle Entangled Shaft below the Ridge Textured Neck

All things considered, my testees and I had some fun riding Kthulu or stuffing the hole while lying on the back. But this dildo is best enjoyed with another partner or a fuck machine (which can twist).

Where to buy?

Mr Hankey sells their toys directly through their website. This is the best way to get them when you want to customize them even further. They also run promotions on a regular basis so check their page regular to snatch a bargain. The Seahorse starts at $165.85, the Kthulu at $129.95. But depending on your size and how many extras you add, they can go up beyond $300.

And when the hour glass of temporariness has run out, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless, ineffectual activism has come to an end. When everything around you is silent and still, as in eternity, then eternity will ask you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: Whether you have lived in despair or not.

ren, Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death

 

Happy holidays perverts! As every year, the most important thing first: If you are struggling or need mental support over the holidays, you can find an overview of international help hotlines here.

What a year it has been… Following the somber tone of last year´s post, I hoped this year to finally focus on toys and kink fun again. But the many elections on the past 12 months have shown that the period of easily won progress for individual rights and social acceptance is over. A welcoming climate has shifted to one where individuals and groups feel entitled and safe enough to attack minorities both verbally and physical. Not a day passes by without reading about attacks on LGBTQ+ people, sex workers or civil rights or civil society activists, even in areas we have considered safe zones.

Besides the attacks, there is a strong movement to role back legislation and protections, starting with trans right. Even if you are not a supporter of trans rights – which you absolutely should because they are just basic human rights! – don´t let yourself be fooled: Once they have taken away these “easy” to take rights, they will come for gay rights, for unmarried rigs, for sexual freedom until they have reached their bigot ἀνόσιος τόπος. So we must remain vigilant and vocal about these attacks and demand and fight for nothing but equality.

So much for the state of the world. On a personal level, at the beginning of the year ToyTorture.com was the target of a hacker attack which resulted in the website going offline. Being a sex toy expert and not an IT guy, I was devastated because I could not figure out how to fix it. After a couple of weeks I deiced to take this as a sign and after twelve years let this project die. But as soon as this decision was reached, I started to miss my little website. Through apps and e-mails I was still getting reader questions which could have been easily answered through a link to a review of 101. As the days got warmer and longer, a friend reached out who offered to help. And within a few weeks managed the miracle to bring back ToyTorture.com! He has earned my eternal gratefulness and I would love to give him credit but he explicitly asks to remain anonymous, considering what he did a favor to the community as my reviews and articles are.

The website came online just when I prepared for my bi-annual visit of a BDSM summer camp in the USA, followed by Folsom Europe – a time where I usually take a vacation from reviews. Just when I prepared to get back to reviewing, a bereavement in the closest family happened which drastically shifted priorities, at least for a few weeks. Add to that some very stressful few weeks at my daytime job and here we are at the end of 2024 already. Luckily, I at least managed to review the Kink 3D Cobra chastity cage just in time before Locktober started. So if your new year resolution is staying locked (more), check that out.

What will 2025 bring? Looking at the current state of the world, how quickly things shift and that even columns of the community – Darklands meaning crane pictures, Folsom Europe being on the second weekend of September – became flexible, I am just hope hoping for the best. For ToyTorture.com it will mean many new reviews. Certainly 10, probably 20, maybe even 30. An E-Stim special? Hopefully! Haven´t had one of those in years. Bigger anal toys? Already waiting in my playroom for the review to be written. Regarding the community, community is what we make off it. Our involvement and engagement, the voluntary work, the kindness and activism that we give, usually comes back tenfold. If we are loud and united, we cannot be ignored. We will not be perceived as victims or easy targets. So even when the future seems dire, don´t despair and retreat but find allies and together vocally demand the respect, the security and human rights which are are entitled to.

Regardless if you are celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, pigmas or are just enjoying a few days off and look forward to the opportunity to indulge in great food: I wish you happy and merry days among your loved ones and (chosen) family. For those who are struggling, know you are loved and there are peoplere people waiting for and celebrating you just the way you are. And as the new year approaches, remember to stay strong, stay united, stay kinky, stay optimistic and strive for the better. Hopefully in a few years, I will be able to write a more light-hearted holiday message again.

We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven. That which we are, we are:
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield!

Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ulysses

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer III – Gay Board Games

This week’s temperatures (at least in middle Europe) have confirmed: Winter has arrived. And with it long, cold nights which are best spent in company. For inspiration on tools for sexual company, check out virtually any other review on this website. For social company take a look at these two gay board games from Reroll Works.

Gay Sauna the Board Game

First, let’s take a look at their debut game: Gay Sauna the Board Gay Sauna the Board Game I heard about this some time last year but sadly could not get my hands on it Germany. It sounded like the perfect main game of the evening for my kinky gay board game group in Dresden after we lightend the mood with a quick game of NSFW Unstable Unicorns and a few rounds of Beauty Sekt (sparkling wine with guava-lychee juice). But then life happened, I have lost track of this game. Imagine my surprise when I found it on the shelves of Underground in Amsterdam.

A friend of mine was able to play a demo round at the game trade show SPIEL in Essen. He said that you could really tell that Gay Saune the Board Game was made by gays who had an intimate knowledge of the cruisy sauna scene. And you see that the creators are board game nerds, having designed a complex, great equipped and executed game. If you want to learn more about Gay Sauna the Board Game, there are a couple of reviews and walk throughs on YouTube. Browsing their webstore for this article showed me that they also released an R-rated set of cardsR-rated set of cards which I did not know about. Depending on your or the gift receiver’s play style, I would consider buying the bundlebuying the bundle a must to at least have the option to spice things up.

The Dick Sits with Expansion Packs

This year they release a second game called „The Dick SitsThe Dick Sits“ which is about being a litteral ass holes and getting stretched to take ALL the dicks. Being a card game, this will be a quicker game than Gay Sauna the Board Game – and even more hillarious. The box looks like having a small footprint so it could be a litteral stock stuffer. And priced below 25€ it is almost still secret santa material (this rite has escalated quite a lot money-wise since I was a kid…). Like all good card games, there are expansion packs on Body Functions, Pride Dicks and Kitchen Utensiles so you already gift ideas for occasions to come (I wonder if they be interested in doing a ToyTorture.com Best of Anal Toy expansion pack…).

A lot of kinksters are nerds, so these games are a good way to spice up one of their favorite group activity while keeping the pants on. And if a round heats properly heats you up, you can always head to the sauna together afterwards.

If you order by tomorrow, Dec 16th 2024 they guarantee a delivery before Christmas in Europe – which probably also includes potential NYE’s board game parties. But even after the holidays, these games will spice up your (gay) board game nights. Can’t wait to try out my copy of Gay Sauna the Board Game with my „Gear & Games“ group in January. Watch this space for a thorough review early next year.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer II – Cockeyekink Custom Stainless Steel Pendants and Harnesses

Sometimes you just need a little something for someone special. A token of gratitude, a sign that someone is dear without putting pressure on him to re-gift. Or – if you are going full Martha Steward – a little charm to adore the ribbon on a wrapped gift. For a special kinky twist, this week’s stock stuffer are the varios stainless streel accessories from Cockeyekink. Based in Seattle, they have quickly made a name for high quality customizable stainless steel accessories. From classical dog tags over custom text bone tags for all those puppies, alphas, betas and handlers to simple individually colors paw pendants they offer something for ever kink. On they website they showcase a great number of different designs, symbols and iconographies. But you can always approach them with a custom design which would be the perfect gift for your house, leather family or pack. Though you might be a bit late for a big custom order for Christmas.

Bulldog Harness with Poppers Pig Icon

Piss Pig Harness with Suspender Straps

Of course, Cockeyekink is most famous for their harnesses which comes in two styles: Bulldog or Bulldog with Suspender Straps. The stainless steel plates boldly display your kink. And the wide straps and massive buckles give off a heavy duty vibe. They are definitively not made for circuit party twinks but for heavy players who engage in serious kink. Again, the plates either come for a pre-designed range or can be done with individual art work and the leather color can be chosen to match your existing gear.

Different Versions of the Bulldog Harness with Suspender Straps

I have been eyeing their Bulldog with Suspender Straps for a couple of years now. So if anybody is still looking for a Christmas gift for me, send me a message… 😉