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I spent the last weekend with friends who are part of the organizing committee of the Mr RubClub contest where Germany’s MIR contestant is chosen. It was a remarkable party due to two reasons.

First it was my first contest party. The contest itself was fun despite the under heated room. I have never been at a drag show because it didn’t interest me (until now?) but the MC who was a SPI member was hilarious so I might visit a drag show this year. The contest wasn’t as interactive and complex as the ones in the US, it is basically just a series of short films where the candidates present themselves and their relation to the community and afterwards everybody can cast their vote. However, I have rarely felt such an intense sense of connection within and with the kinky and especially the rubber community. It was an awesome experience.

Second and more important was the experience of playing with a person fairly new to BDSM. I was introduced to him on PlanetRomeo prior to the party through a mutual friend. He was cute but I wasn’t really in the mood for playing. He was feeling subbie and in Germany most of the fetish community events are more about fucking than BDSM with everything that goes along with it (p.e. difficult access to toys stored at the checkroom, strange people touching you while playing, etc.). But he and my friend convinced me to take some toys with me after all. After the contest was done, I grabbed my little toy bag, took him to the playroom, bound his hands behind his back, attached two silicone loops around his balls and dick and attached them to my ET232. What followed afterwards was an incredible experience. Not only did he respond really well (he maxed my estim box on High Frequency, something I have not managed yet which was incredible hot) but I was struck by the sense of wonder, excitement and enthusiasm he was showing. The glowing in the eyes, the subtle intensifying of his breathing turning into moaning when I turned up the intensity, teaching him how to breathe and work his way through the pain, resulting into the changing of his face expression from agony to ecstasy. It was more rewarding and satisfying than some session I have with an experienced pain pig when the inner sadist comes through wanting my subs to wiggle and scream as much as they can. After he had enough you could really see the gratefulness in his eyes and the involuntary smile of endorphins rushing through his body as soon as the box was turned off.

After we grabbed a drink he was so curious about the BDSM scene, how stuff works, what can, should and mustn’t be done. And the entire 5 hour bus drive home the next day we were texting forth and back allaying his thirst for knowledge. The situation was kind of bizarre to me: I have ever thought of myself as a more or less experienced “newbie” to the scene having only been really active for about three years and there I was helping someone else discover the great world and wonders of BDSM. From what and how he is asking I am pretty sure he will become an awesome Kinkster, a greedy pain pig and maybe even a good top.

I have to admit that I am mostly trying to play with more or less experienced kinksters because the play is mostly easier and more intense – and I believe at least some people in the community feel the same way. But all it took was about an hour of my time to spark the fire in ones heart and what I got back was emotionally so rewarding and in the long term might enrich our community with another hot, creative and perverted fucker. So please see this short piece as an encouragement for a new year’s resolution: The next time you see someone standing shyly in the corner of a leather bar or someone with now experiences who just wants to try messages you, sacrifice a bit of your time and give him a glimpse into our world. You will probably be rewarded with something way more satisfying than just a great scene.