Archiv für den Autor: Frederik

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer I – Cuffed Classic Rubber Restraints

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The Cuffed Classic Restraints Color Range

It has become a time-honored tradition that during the period we call Advent in Germany which means the four Sundays before Christmas I write about some toys that I would love to review but not yet had a chance to add to my playroom.

Two weeks ago I reviewed the Rubstraints from Cuffed and to put is mildly that review apparently stroke a chord. With the Segufix lock and all black or authentic medical restraint color scheme they mean business.

The Cuffed Classic Restraints Full Set

But rubber has always had the appeal of leathers cheekier, more lighthearted and more colorful brother and Cuffed caters to that with their Classic line. With a small locking pin instead of a Segufix lock and D-rings instead of gates they look more like classic cuff restraints – just like their name implies. But the greatest feat: They come in color! The piping around the edge and the body comes in blue, gree, yellow, orange, red and white so you’ve almost got a rainbow. This color range should cover the major (accent) colors used in rubber gear if you want to accessorize your outfit or are pedantic about matching colors when tied down. The Classic Restraints come for neck, biceps, wrist, thigh and ankle. So if you are VERY color-brave, you can use them to signal at least four different hanky codes. And if you ask nicely, I am sure Cuffed will be able to make you restraints also in teal, fuchsia, beige or whatever else floats your boat.

The range starts at 109€ for a puppy collar and ends at 259€ for thigh restraints. If you are interested in the entire set, they sell that for 815€ though then you have to write an e-mail for your color mix and match hanky set 😉

Vector Heavy Padded Bondage Sleeves

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The Mr S Leather Vector Heavy Padded Bondage Sleeves

Vendor: Mr S Leather

Design

Mr S calls this toy “Bondage Sleeves” but I  would find the term “Straitjacket Sleeves” more appropriate because that is what this toy is: The sleeves of the Vector Straitjacket I reviewed last week combined with a harness to tie them to the body.

The harness looks like a hybrid of a Bulldog and a Y harness. In the front there is a 14cm long horizontal piece of leather with a D-ring in the middle. The O-rings left and right of this leather piece is housing each a belt going over the shoulder and a belt going under the shoulder around the back. Connecting both belts using the roller buckle which is riveted on one of them will fetter the harness to the sub’s body. The belts going over the shoulder connect to an O-ring by two roller buckles riveted with leather loops to it. A 6cm long vertical piece of leather connects this O-ring to another one. This O-ring is the anchor point for the two belts onto which the sleeves are attached.

Detail of the 3 D-rings on the Sleeves‘ Side

The sleeves are basically like the ones on the Vector Padded Straitjacket from Mr S: Unlined leather sleeves with thick foam padding sown on the upper and lower arm and an unpadded elbow to allow the arm to bend. On the sides of each sleeve there are three D-ring riveted to the body using the same soft and sturdy bridle leather the belts are made out of. The bottom of the sleeve looks like his big brother: Left and right D-rings, roller buckle in the middle to connect both them. They have an internal length of 76cm and a circumference of 65cm so even beefy bodybuilders should fit. Speaking of fit: Unlike last week’s straitjacket, this is a one-size-fits-all piece of gear. But the belt going around the back has a total length of 110cm, the belts to connect the sleeves with the harness can add another 25cm to the internal length so there is plenty of space for beefy and thick bottom boys wearing this piece of bondage gear. This adjustability is a true feat for tops that play with subs of different body types!

The Harness for Fettering the Sleeves to the Body

The Vector Sleeves come with the same amount of straps as the Vector Straitjacket: A 76cm long one with only holes to connect the sleeves, 6 traditional belts with roller buckles (2x 85cm and 4x 60cm) and a 4x 60cm and a 23cm long piece with roller buckles on both ends. This allows for the same two basic bondage layouts: Either use a belt to tie both sleeves folded in front of the torso together and connect to the front D-ring or threat a belt through the D-rings at the sleeve’s bottom and tie them around the thighs.

After all this years, I guess I do not have to write too much about the Mr S’ leather quality: Both the garment and the bridle leather is soft, yet sturdy and smells great.

Detail of the D-ring housing

Playing with the Vector Padded Bondage Sleeves

Since the design of this toy is so close to a straitjacket, bondage-wise is almost works like one. When the arms are folded in front of the body and adding the vertical belt for added restrictiveness, the bondage degree is a little bit lower because the belt is only attached to one instead of two D-rings. But luckily a stainless steel cockring can easily be used as a second anchor point. Naturally, also the feeling of leather tightly hugging the torso is not there.

But that is not scenario for which you would buy this piece of bondage gear. If you want that, buy a straitjacket! There are three major scenarios for this toy: First, it is for people who want to show off year gear. Especially at bars or street fares, some tops want their subs to display what they are (not) wearing while still securing them tightly. Related to this scenario are subs who easily overheat. For these people layering up by putting a straitjacket over their gear is not an option. There are even people like a close friend of mine who even when just lying bound in a normally heated room cannot have a long-term bondage scene in a straitjacket because he gets too hot.

Detail of the Connection Between Harness and Sleeves

Finally and probably most importabtky, there is the (almost) full body access appeal of this toy and personally I fall into this category. While last week I wrote that the Vector Padded Straitjacket is the best straitjacket I have ever played with, I use the Vector Sleeves way more often in scenes! My testees and I had scenes involving sensation play, knife play or even flogging which are usually not associated with the bondage level straitjackets of. There even were some wax play scene though it is only for experienced/ really masochistic subs. In order to limit the chance of wax hitting the leather, the drop distance should be relatively low which means the heat increases dramatically. Naturally, nipple access if way better than on a traditional straitjacket and since there are not straps below the chest, CBT, fucking and fisting works without a problem. There is a final, a bit borderline target audience: Fursuiters into bondage. The plush fursuits are made out of is often so thick would make a separate straitjacket for fursuit bondage necessary (not beginning to talk about the heat problems there…). And I have not even started with fur getting caught in zippers or Velcro. The large body size range these Vector Sleeves cover makes them ideal for capturing anthropomorphic subs.

The Sleeve Ends with Roller Buckle and Two D-rings

While its big brother has 19 D-rings, the sleeves “only” have 9. This difference may sound drastic, but 9 are ample in most situations.  Regardless if standing in a bondage frame, tying the sub to a pole or spread eagle on a bed, there are enough anchor points to fetter the arms and upper torso properly. For added bondage, simply thread rope of tensions straps through the O-rings. Though if you need to tie the lower torso, you will need a bondage belt. Since the D-rings are on the outside of the sleeves they can easily be tied tighter to the torso by threading a belt through them.

Conclusion: Combination of a straitjackert’s bondage sensation with great play access.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Intense bondage while leaving large body areas exposed for play Only one D-ring for tying the arm down in front of the body Mr S (Manufacturer) $879.95
One size fits all
Arms can be tied in front of body or on the sides
Many D-rings
Many additional straps for creative bondage scenarios

Vector Padded Straitjacket

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The Mr S Leather Vector Padded Straitjacket

Vendor: Mr S Leather

Design

Like all straitjackets the basis of this piece of bondage gear is a unlined leather “jacket” with extra-long, closed sleeves. The jacket opens at the back and is closed using industrial strength Velcro. The frontab, the upper and lower arm are heavily padded with thick panels of v-shaped stitched down, leather covered foam cushions. Left and right of the padding run each a 15cm long lateral zipper (in size M) for nipple access.

To fasten the straitjacket tightly onto the sub’s body, there are 5 bridle leather belts with roller buckles on the back. For added security, there is another belt around the collar and onto the bottom of the jacket two belts are riveted. These go around the thighs and through the crotch. For securing the arms, there are roller buckles at the end of each sleeve. The jacket comes with a 76cm long belt only with holes to connect those two. To keep the arms in place there is a pair of D-rings between the padding on the front. Use one of the additional belts (2x 85cm, 4x 60cm and a 23cm long piece with roller buckles on both ends) that come with the straitjacket to fasten them to the front. At the end of the sleeves there is a D-ring left and right of the roller buckle. When you thread a belt to those two and fasten it around the thigh, the arms can be tied down parallel to the torso.

The Array of D-rings on the Side

Speaking of D-rings there are a lot on this straitjacket. Like, really a lot! There are three around the collar, the two in the front, two at the end of each sleeve, three on each side of the jacket. Onto the jacket body is a 6.5cm wide piece of folded garment leather sown. Being thinner it is a bit softer than the jackets unlined leather. So if you thread a belt through the pairs of D-ring on each side, it tightly closes around the body. All D-rings are securely housed under straps of bridle leather, attached to the body using sturdy rivets.

Like all products leaving the workshops from Mr S, the leather is top notch. It is soft, has a beautiful grain, subtle light shiny luster and smells deliciously! Despite all these “cuddly” attributes, the leather is heavy duty and means business! The belts are strong enough to rein in even the strongest sub.

The Velcro Strap for Closing the Straitjacket

Since Mr S manufactures all their gear in-house in San Francisco and has a custom department, you can always literally tailor the straitjacket to your own demands. This starts with simple requests like needing a smaller or larger size or stitching colors and goes over colored leather (a friend got this straitjacket with red leather covering the padding) to complete design modification. I’ve done smaller modification on other toys in the past (had I but world enough for ALL my kinky dreams…) and they are extremely kind and helpful. They put all their expertise and experience into getting you the gear you want. But be prepared to wait a bit for the finished product to arrive.

The Straps on the Back to Tightly Fasten the Straitjacket Around the Body

Playing with the Vector Padded Straitjacket

Let’s start out this part of the review with the only big point of discussion among my testees: The way you close the straitjacket. About 60% of the people that played with the Vector straitjacket would have preferred a zipper closure. Closing a zipper gradually increases the level of restriction and a good zipper can take a bit of struggle. So once the jacket is zipped up a bit, the restrictive feeling kicks in. With the strap of Velcro you need a still standing sub to align both sides properly. Don’t get me wrong: The wrong, the Velcro is industrial strength and once closed can absorb a lot of force. But you need a sub to willingly submit to get into this straitjacket. As this is how I play with my subs, the Velcro did not bother me but apparently it is something to think about before choosing this straitjacket.

The Thigh Strap

That being said, the Vector Padded Straitjacket passed with flying color! It is actually the best straitjacket I ever played with. The thickness of the leather and the padding strikes the right balance of being comfortable over extended periods of time and intense feeling of bondage. Once all the belts are fastened, the leather wraps tightly around the body. The belts are 35mm wide, so when they are being pulled tight through the roller buckle, the pull force is transferred onto a large body area. Since there are so many belts to close, putting the straitjacket on has a great sense of drama, feeling how the ability to move is taken away while the soft leather hugs the skin increasingly tightly. This makes this straitjacket a treat for every leather fetishist. The thick hide with the massive, stainless steel trims add up to a weight of almost 5kg! Wearing this straitjacket wears you down in a good way. It feels solid, heavy, restricting and that’s what a good piece of heavy body bondage should do.

The Sleeve Ends with Roller Buckle and Two D-rings

When you have read other reviews from me, I usually say “More D-rings are better!” But the Vector Padded Straitjackets features a total of 19 D-rings! Yes, I can think of borderline situations where more D-rings would be useful and I have thought “Oh, a D-ring on the shoulder or the elbow would have been nice.” But thus discussion is academic! The many D-rings are enough for almost every bondage situation, regardless if lying down with the arms folded in a sling, tied a spread eagle on a bed, fixed to a pole or in a bondage frame. The strong way the D-rings are attached to the straitjacket comes in handy especially when the sub is standing up. If using strong enough fettering mediums like rope, industrial tension straps or chain, the sub can lean into the D-rings and the straitjacket will support him.

The Zipper for Nipple Access

Play access to important body parts is good with the Vector straitjacket. Like all belts, the ones running through the crotch are soft and have been thoroughly deburred. So even fetter the straitjacket onto bare thighs, the leather will not cut into the skin or cause friction burn when moving quickly. So the dick and balls can be carelessness exposed for CBT or a top must not worry about discomfort when fucking or fisting his bound boy. The nipple access is as good as you would expect. Since it is only a straight zipper in a rigid material like leather, the opening extends only so much. In most cases the nipples below were in reach and clamps or even suction cups could be applied easily. But it is definitely too tight for wax play or extended licking and biting. For this kind of play, you need a straitjacket with tit flaps! All that things being said, it is still the padded straitjacket with the best tit access.

Conclusion: Best straitjacket I have played with so far.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Soft leather, thick padding and many straps lead to intense feeling of bondage Velcro instead of zipper to close Mr S (Manufacturer) $1,795
Limited Off the Rack Size Range
Arms can be tied in front of body or on the sides
Nipple Access
Many D-rings
Many additional straps for creative bondage scenarios

 

 

 

Rubstraints

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The Cuffed Rubstraints with Various Connectors

Vendor: Cuffed

Rubber is one of the major fetishes out there and was actually my first fetish (more on that in some rare personal words at the end of this review). Often, a rubber fetish comes along with a love for bondage (rubber drones being forcefully reprogrammed anyone?). Sadly due to rubber being a fragile material and complex to process – especially when you want to compensate the fragility – there are few “good” rubber restraints out there. So many people mix rubber gear with leather restraints which for a true and only rubber lover is a painful compromise and thus messages asking for product recommendations in that regard are frequent. So when my dear friend StormWolf from Belgium drew my attention to the Cuffed restraints during his visit to Darklands earlier this year, I was thrilled and amazed because they looked very promising. Not wanting to anticipate the final verdict too much but they exceeded my expectations.

Design

The Rubstraints follow the design of all premium cuff-style restraints: A soft body that hugs tightly around the joint is connected to a sturdy belt that absorbs the force of the struggling sub. Unlike their leather cousins, the body is not padded but made out of two layers of 0.9mm grade rubber. Along the long edges of the body runs a rubber tubes covered in thin rubber to create the impression of piping. Onto the body, a double layer of Kevlar reinforced industrial rubber is riveted. On one side a rough patch of Velcro is glued and riveted on the belt while a small fleecy patch is at the other end of the body. The second belt houses two stainless steel gates with a clearing above the rubber of 11x51mm, a locking pin and roller buckle. There are 10 rivet-reinforced holes for closing the buckle. If you want to used the locking pin, you can fasten the belt up to the 7th hole (if you use the widest setting of the Velcro the 6th hole).

Detail of the Rubstraint’s Metal Closing & Locking Trims

For the locking mechanism Cuffed uses genuine Segufix locking pins, locks and keys so you can mix and match with your existing set. What sets them apart from standard Segufix equipment is that 11mm below the top, there is a 4mm hole drilled into the locking pin. This hole is designed to lock the restraints onto your sub if the Segufix locks seem to unsecure for you. However, since the top of the hole is aligned with the bottom of the Segufix lock neither my testees (useing ABUS Titalium) nor me (using Master Lock, please don’t ask my which line…) could find a lock which shackle was long enough which body was thin enough to fit below the lock. So you have to choose between the Segufix and the padlock. Alternatively, use seals like the ones for chastity cages so at least you know when your sub broke out.

Two Rubstraints connected using the Shorty Connector

The two restraints I have used for this review are wrist and ankle restraints. The wrist restraints cover a joint circumference of 14cm to 22cm, the ankle restraints 20cm to 28cm. A question I genuinely get often in regard of other restraints: If you have thin ankles, you can of course use wrist restraints on them or vice versa if you have strong wrists! Especially the industrial rubber is stiffer than leather. So the restraints have little give. Furthermore the basic tension inside the restraints means that the buckle pin will not rest on the roller when you just leave one hole between the buckle and the locking pin.

Along with the restraints themselves, you can order various connection belts. They are made out of the same Kevlar reinforced industrial rubber as the belts on the restraints and are just wide enough to perfectly fit inside the stainless steel gates. But since they do not have skin contact, they are not lined with soft latex. The core of each of these connectors is a Segufix locking pin. For the basic Shorty connector there are two rivet-reinforced holes. If you push them over the locking pin they create two loops for connecting two restraints. Another iteration of this design adds a stainless steel gate perpendicular to the rubber belt. For longer distances there are also adjustable, there are belts out there (ingenious product naming!). Instead of having just two holes wide enough apart to create the loops, the have a traditional belt hole layout. Additionally they are equipped with two stainless steel gates for added connectivity.

Detail of the Latex Body and Industrial Rubber Belts

Nota bene: While for this review I only looked at the cuffed restraints most often used in bondage, Cuffed created an entire system around the design also featuring collars, biceps and thigh restraints or a wide bondage belt. So they have gotten you covered for more elaborate or stricter bondage scenes.

If you have a medical/ asylum fetish that is not satisfied by the professional lock system Cuffed offers some of the restraints, belts and connectors off the rack with a tan belts and beige bodies. I am sure if you want other restraints from the system currently not included in this collection like the thigh restraints, they are open for custom commissions.

Like all rubber and latex items, the Rubstraints require a bit special care. Most important: Keep them away from oil and fat, including and especially Crisco! These substances will destroy the rubber! Since there is always a thin film of oil on the human skin, rubber should be washed after each scene either using simple, non-moisturizing dish soap or a special rubber detergent (my detergent of choice is Wonder Wash). Before storing them, make sure they are COMPLETELY dry (often water gets trapped in the tubes used for the piping) and seal the surface either with talcum powder or silicone lube to keep the rubber from oxidation. But regardless how well you take care of the Rubstraints, how thoroughly you clean and protect them from oxidation, they – like all rubber and latex times – will over time get old and finally break! So use them often and well to get the most fun out of them.

The Logo printed inside the Cuffs

If you want to learn more about rubber and latex, the perfect are and its appeal, check out my Rubber 101.

Playing with the Rubstraints

This is the first time I have ever written this about a piece of rubber bondage gear (except body bondage items lick sleeping bags): They work as well as their leather counterparts. The latex piped lining creates a soft and sharp edge-free surface that can actually be worn on bare skin over extended periods of time – even on a struggling sub! – without chafing. The thought-out placing of the rivets that connects the body to the belt diverts most of the force of a struggling sub to only the belt which is strong enough to deal even with strong subs. A testee submitted a body builder sub of his to tough e-stim torture and there was no noticeable wear and tear on the rubber or the rivets. So any rubber scene, any latex fantasy you would normally resort to using leather restraints can be turned into reality using the Rubstraints.

Detail of the Velcro

The most noticeable design difference to leather restraints is that as anchor points the Rubstraints use gates instead of D-rings. While this is an unusual decision I actually like the look at lot. It adds to the sleek, technical look and feel the thick, hard-edged rubber belts create. A drawback is that threading rope is difficult and attaching climbing carabiner is impossible. This is a very personal opinion and play preference of (most of) my testees and me but in our opinion “classic” rope clashes a bit with the modern look. “Rough” chain (with shackles as connectors) or “high-tech” nylon tension straps are a better match. The great advantage of gates are that if tied with enough tension and facing towards the short sides, the bondage medium stays in the corner and does not travel towards the apex like they have the tendencies on D-rings.

The Belt connected to a 90 Connector

The gates are also the foundation to incorporate the belt-style accessories. This is what set the Rubstraints really apart from all the other cuff style leather restraints I have reviewed and played with so far. The rubber straps being almost as wide as the gates, there is little vertical wiggle room so they create a stricter bondage than a carabiner would. Since they come in a variety of length, the severity of the bondage can be adjusted. For example, instead of using a belt to connect the ankle restraints and limiting the movement of the sub, a testee used the short Shorty which leave about 50mm of movement space. This leave the sub the theoretical possibility of walking around but practically it take a lot of practice to not fall over his own feet. Practice, easily enforces when tugging on his collar. Due to the added gate, the 90 are a bit wider (and actually come in two sizes).  While they take a bit away the strictness between the limbs, they add versatility. Now you can connect the two restraints pairs with either a short belt for a hogtie or a longer one when for a standing sub to create an interesting way to limit his movements (every time he takes a step, there will be a tugging on his wrists which especially when tied tightly behind his back adds another difficulty level). If you are more of a sadist, add a (spiked) parachute to his balls, run the rope through the gate and attach a weight. In this instance, the rope will travel from one corner to the other, causing the weight to swing, making the sub move and the weight swings more. There are many, creative, vicious and aesthetical pleasing ways to play with the connector. On the website from Cuffed there is a short, still extending guide with examples. So check this out if you need more inspiration. Another benefit of the rubber connectors are that they do not disturb the clean all-rubber and steel look the Rubstraints laid the basis for.

The Genuine Segufix Lock with Genuine Key

And last but definitely not least: The fetish aspect. They smell like a good piece of rubber gear should smell. The smell is so intense that opening up the box I store them in feels like opening my rubber closet. As for the looks the industrial rubber of the belts can either be high-shined to match latex suits yet is dull enough to appeal to the lovers of the rougher, dry or hazmat suit look. Other testee subs loved the Segufix lock. They bring a professional and heavy duty feel to the restraints. Especially a blindfolded sub familiar with the Segufix system will know what the faint and subtle “click” means when the lock is pushed over the locking pin.

A Personal Word from ToyTorture

Despite all the personal experience I try to make these reviews as objective as possible. So I have never written a truly personal opinion about a toy. But given the circumstances, I feel it necessary for this toy.

Rubber was my first true fetish and slowly venturing into the fetish, kink and BDSM scene, I first struggled a bit with good bondage gear were only available in leather. So locking back at my own past, I was genuinely excited for these restraints. When I opened the parcel, a wave of intoxicating rubber smell hit me! It was almost like Rubber@LAB – minus the smell of piss and poppers. I got them end of August and I was SO locking forward to using them on me, on subs, as photo prop. But due to the current circumstances, I only managed to get a few scenes as a top with them and was glad that I have testees with live-in subs to get more opinions on the toy for a review as you would expect it of ToyTorture.com.

ADarkGuy hogtied by ToyTorture using the Rubstraints

Yet still, every time I open the storage box for the Rubstraints in my playroom and smell the rubber and I see the shiny surface and feel the cold stainless steel I am heart-broken that a toy holding so much potential, so many fantasies inside them is just laying dead and unused in a box. So I truly hope that things will get better soon, that some time next year, I will lock these restraints around a rubber sub at Quälgeist or join one of my tops to Rubber@LAB. But for the moment these excellent pieces of bondage gear, German art of engineering and craftsmanship are a good example for all the things to look forward to once this pandemic is over.

Conclusion: The most effective, sturdy, fetish-please, thought-out and high quality rubber restraints.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Sturdy enough even for heavy bondage scenes and strong subs Will age over time and will eventually break Rubstraints Wrist Cuffs 199€
Rubstraints Ankle Cuffs 199€
Intense rubber smell and feel
Shorty Connector (2 pieces) 44,90€
Two anchor points 90 Connector 32,90€
Thought-out accessory system 90 Long Connector 38,90€
Belt 50 49,90€
Belt Back 69,90€

Slubb Masturbator

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The Slubb along with the Power Tool sold in the Package

Vendor: Slubb

Design

The Slubb Masturbator is an attachment for oscillation power tools like the Fein MultiMaster. It is attached to the tool using a powder-coated piece of steel plate. On the open end a rhombus with recesses on the corners and a circle of twelve squares is punched out. This enables the Slubb to be attached to a wide variety of oscillation power tools. My testees and I have tried it on devices from Bosch, Fein and Einhell (more about that below) and it worked well on all of them. On their website, Slubb explicitly excluded the Fein SuperCut from the compatibility list and we can confirm that!

The steel connector is attached to a sturdy, industry-strength polymer case designed to withstand the strong vibrations even as the material ages. I talked to a friend of mine in the manufacturing industry and he assured me that the chosen Ultramid A3K PA66 is one of the best choices for this application. He also offered to put the housing through an testing marathon but this would have started with destroying my Slubb so I am taking his word that the material is good enough for this particular purpose.

The Slubb attachet to a Oscillation Tool

Inside the case a 310mm long and 30mm wide piece of industrial SBR rubber is tightly riveted onto the steel plate. The rubber strap is threaded through a loop at the back of the case. At its bottom there are two mushroom-shaped pins. The strap length is adjusted by pushing the pins through the strap’s holes. There are 16 of those and the two pins are one hole apart so the maximum circumference of the rubber loop is 220mm which should be enough even for well-endowed members of the kink community. But I guess if you require it, the guys at Slubb can custom make a larger version for you.

While you can purchase the Slubb separately if you already own an oscillation power tool that you want to expose to the environmental challenge of the dungeon like lube, they also offer a package together with the Einhell TE-MG 12 Li. The is a middle of the road battery powered oscillation tool with a 3° oscillation angle and a theoretically oscillation frequency between 5,000 and 17*,000 oscillations per minute. While usually being a quality freak who lives by “more is better because you never know when you need a power reserve”, I can assure you, you do not need a more powerful tool with a greater oscillation angle. The guys as Slubb actually “limit” the power units output at about 8,000 oscillations per minute but driving a screw into the rotary control (sometimes the simplest solutions are the best). I have taken the screw out and tested the higher settings. Most subs found the setting the higher settings unpleasurable and painful. Also, more powerful with stronger battery means heavier. At 830g ready to go, the Slubb on the TE-MG 12 Li is already heavier than all the massage wands I have come across.

Detail of how the Rubber Strap is attached to the body

The power unit is battery powered so you can easily move around with it. The battery takes around an hour to completely charge and also lasts for about an hour, depending on the intensity setting. It is interchangeable, so if you buy a spare battery, one can charge while the other is in action.

Since it is a professional power tool, it emits noise up to 79db which is probably the loudest toy in any given playroom. To be frank, this is annoying – and all the more reason to take you sub’s sense away by plugging his ears and focusing his attention to the stimulation on his dick.

The Slubb pack comes in a sturdy plastic carrying case without any branding, either of Slubb or Einhell. This is actually a bit of a problem because I do not know how but I always manage to open the case upside down… A Slubb branding (with a sticker) on top would have been great (and as a professional marketer I see a missed branding opportunity). Inside the case is the Slubb, the TE-MG 12 Li, the battery, the charger and a hex key to mount the Slubb onto the machine.

Detail of the Connector

What is not in the pack are the usual attachments a oscillation power tool comes with like saw blades, grinding plates or scrapers, etc. In Germany the TE-MG 12 Li currently retails for about 60€. Considering the price of the Slubb itself, it is cheaper to buy the unit separately and the Slubb separately. This way, you do not only save money but have the right tools at hand if you ever need to replace a tile or saw a hole in the back of your kitchen cabinets to install piping.

Playing with the Slubb

The handling of the Slubb is easy. Once it is attached to the power unit, adjust the loop that is it one hole larger than the circumference of the dick, apply ample silicone lube on the rubber strap and the dick and start the engines. There is no specific place where to apply the Slubb. The sensation is felt most strongly on the glans/ frenulum but moving up and down the shaft has its own interesting sensation. The more you get up the shaft, the stronger the vibrations are felt.

I sent the Slubb to two friends who suffer from erectile dysfunction. Both were able to reach orgasms with the Slubb, unlike with massager sleeve which require a hard dick start with. One of the two talked with his doctor about the Slubb because he was surprised by the effect. It turns out that vibration can help people effect by erectile dysfunction but there is no guarantee and he was lucky.

This effect was also observed by a milking top: He continued the stimulation after his sub has cum and milked one consecutive orgasm out of him after another. The stimulation is strong enough to usually get men to come quickly so he used the Slubb for quick semen extraction which worked better than a Venus of a Doxy with an attachment. Speaking of wand massagers (attachments): A great feat of the Slubb is that sits tightly and securely on the machine! Regardless how vigorously you move the loop up and down the dick, the simulation will not lose intensity because the attachment is coming off.

Detail of the Rubber Strap that goes around the Dick

The edges of the rubber strap are not deburred which is a controversial topic among my testees. Compared to other industrial rubber (like the one used on most rubber restraints) the kind used on the Slubb is considerably softer. Even over extended (continuous) usage, there was no chaffing on the tested dicks. But some found the firm edges uncomfortable, other enjoyed coarser feeling because it made the stimulation more intense. If you find the edges too sharp, you can easily deburr them on your own using a knife.

The Slubb should only be used with silicone lube for two reasons. First, silicone lube lasts longer so you do not have to relube ever 3 to 5 minutes as I tested with water-based lube. Second, the silicone oil in the lube maintains the rubber.

Conclusion: Effective and merciless milking tool if used on the right power unit.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Strong vibration transmission Edges too sharp for some people Slubb 49,90€
Slubb with Power Tool 138,90€
Merciless milking possible
Does not come off during play
Easy to clean

Finn, Jorhan, Mundir & Qwim

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Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: 16 colors in different configuration
Firmness: Medium to Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Neotori

This Anal Toy Sepcial finishes with another European company: Neotori, based in the center of my home country Germany. For about a year I started noticing this manufacturer through an increasing number of reader questions. So I am delighted to finish this special with a look at three plus one of their most popular toys – at least judging from your messages.

The Neotori Jorhan, Mundir, Finn & Qwim

Construction

Neotori is most famous for the beautiful marble coloration of their toys. While you can get the toys in single or split between body and base colorations for their softer toys, the double or triple split as what makes the toys really shine. You can choose between 28 colors which is almost Bad Dragon or OrganoToy territory. What Neotori does not offer (yet?) are glow in the dark colors! The vibrant hue you see in their social media pictures comes from UV active colors which glow when exposed to UV light around 395nm. So they look stunning in playrooms with black light but will not continue glowing when the light is turned off.

Detail of Finn’s Suction Cup

The vibrant colors are achieved by using platinum silicone as a material. From all the materials used to make anal toys out only glass carries color as well and brightly as platinum silicone. Besides that, it is 100% body safe and hypoallergenic. It’s also the best toys for orgies because it is easy to clean and sanitize between partners: Wash the lube off with warm dish soap water, dry, spray sanitizer on it and you are good to go again. Platinum has one drawback though: Never use silicone or hybrid lube with this kind of material! The silicone oil in it will disintegrate the surface and thus the toy over time.

Firmness-wise Neotori currently offers two options: Standard (Shore A00-50) and firm (Shore A8). I am aware that the current trend goes towards softer anal toys but their standard is considerably softer than the soft options from other brands. A friend of mine ordered their Mundir in standard – against my advice – because he wanted the orange-black split coloration shown on the website. He got the toys and it turned out that he had to be REALLY loose to knot this toy when riding it; otherwise he just compressed the neck below the knot.

Detail of Munrir’s Glans

The final customizing option is a suction cup. Unlike other manufacturer, they do not “naturally” integrate the cup into the base so it goes from edge to edge but mould a round/ oval dome into the bottom. This works good on toys like Mundir or Qwim that which have a base following the shape of the suction cup and not so good on toys like Finn where the suction cup is just covers portion of the base. On all three toys the rim around the suction cup is considerably thicker than on toys from other manufacturers in my collection. Due to this there is more force required to create the suction; simply sticking the toys to a surface is not enough. But you know my opinion on suction cups: Even a not perfect one is better than none so I recommend ordering only toys when possible.

Toy Name Size Diameter Glans Diameter Knot/ Above Base Insertable Length Overall Length
Finn S 27mm 50mm 150mm 175mm
M 35mm 60mm 185mm 215mm
L 45mm 80mm 225mm 250mm
Jorhan S 41mm 45mm 155mm 180mm
M 56mm 58mm 220mm 250mm
L 64mm 66mm 260mm 300mm
XL 75mm 79mm 320mm 360mm
Mundir S 30mm 50mm 155mm 180mm
M 38mm 60mm 185mm 225mm
L 45mm 76mm 220mm 265mm
XL 53mm 90mm 260mm 315mm
Qwim S 40mm 49mm 154mm 180mm
M 55mm 62mm 220mm 250mm
L 73mm 78mm 280mm 330mm

Detail of Finn’s Glans

Playing with Finn, Jorhan, Mundir & Qwim

Let’s start hands-on part of this review with the most asked about toy: Finn the Cat. Even though anthro toys are becoming increasingly more popular with avid ass aficionados like me for their quality and texture, a large portion of the buyer base are still furries looking for a dick of their furson breed. While there are many canine and equidae dicks (more about that below) out there, feline penises are hard to come by. So I showed my Finn to a veterinarian and he confirmed that Finn is actually pretty close to the real deal.

Finn starts out with a relatively small glans. Instead of a drop below the glans, the glans rim is textured by two rows of implied barbs. Of course the “barbs” are touching the shaft over their entire length so unlike a feline glans, Finn is not difficult to pull out. But especially at the beginning of play, the texture creates a nice massaging stimulation inside the anus. Later in the play, the glans will become less interesting due to the large diameter the shaft opens up to.

Detail of Jorhan’s Glans

Below the glans the shaft almost perfectly conical increases in diameter till it reaches the base. The front and the back are lightly textured with ridges. What makes Finn interesting are the bumps which texture the space in the side. Rising up to 4mm (!), they are VERY noticeable and stimulate intensely. While they are fun to enjoy when riding, you get the most out of Finn when a top is twisting the dildo while pushing it in and out of the ass. The base features too very faint balls and as already written a not perfect suction cut. But since the base is thin in proportion to the rest of the toys, a top gets a good grip when compressing the balls for fucking the bottom with Finn.

The next toy also features an interesting glans design: Jorhan is a horse dick. But unlike other manufacturer who usually offer two versions of the equidae dildo – one unflared with a half-dome glans, one flared with a flat, almost trumpet-shaped tip – Neotori went for something in between. Jorhan’s glans has a bit of domey texture in the middle of a flat surface. Around the glans are fewer and thicker bumps than on more realistic dildos. The shaft that follows below the glans has about the same diameter as the flat surface on top of the glans. Except a bulge about 2/3 down the shaft and some texture just above the base, Jorhan is smooth and does not increase in diameter.

Detail of Jorhan’s Base

Through this unique design, Jorhan is a good toy for bottoms who want a wide stretch deep or train towards a flared model. Once the first or second sphincter opens up to the glans, it will stay stretched to the glans’ diameter. So even after long and intense sessions, the dildo will come out of the hole with some ease unlike with flared toys. Naturally, Jorhan is not for an anally inexperienced. The still flat glans requires a very loose hole to open up!

I was actually surprised how well my Jorhan XL in Firm stood up even when riding o bearing down on it. Generally speaking Neotori’s basees are rather on the small and thin side. But in comparison to the massive, long and thick shaft, the base is cartoonishly small and thin. From my experience, especially with horse dildos which can be difficult to handle through the size and weight, I sometimes would have wished for a 8 – 15mm ticker base for a more secure stand when playing alone or grip when topping with Jorhan.

Detail of Munrir’s Knot

From the start Mundir is a little more conventional. A point, canine-like glans with a small glans drop and an elongated barrel shape shaft make for an easy insertion and nice, even stretch. There a pair of ventral grooves at the top and at the bottom but otherwise Mundir is good for smooth stretching. But everything changes at the knot! Unlike other dog dildos, it features three not two cavernous bodies. While their shape is drawn-out and not compressed like on other dildos, the 50% higher number of bulges texturing the shaft makes this knot harder to take. Furthermore, with shaft-knot ratio of 1:1.6 Mundir is one the more brutish end of the canine toy scale.

But, as challenging as the knot might be, as satisfying it is to finally take it. It is a good, intense, horny stretch. Below the knot is a large enough resting space to prepare the hole for opening up again. When playing with a top twisting Mundir in the right spot massages the prostate (or if you are REALLY loose, the anus). The base is relative small but provides a good grip for tops or houses a strong enough suction cup for riding this dildo.

Qwim’s Heavily Textured Shaft and Glans

The final toy in this review was just introduced this August. It’s called Qwim and it’s a fantasy toy as in not based on an animal. The “glans” takes up the upper half of the toy. It is triangular “blade” textured with bumps on the edges and the surface. The lower half is a round shaft heavily textured with high ridges and bumps. What is described in short words is actually a dream for a texture freak like me. Riding Qwim pushes so many buttons inside my anus, my prostate and second sphincter. Because the glans is so bendy, it easily finds the way towards the second sphincter. And while the glans’ tip is small and smooth, the initial opening is easy. But the texture on this sensitive body area can be a bit much – or “pure bliss” to quote one of my testees.

Its shape makes Qwim a toy for more experienced bottoms. Since the glans easily bends, you have to be loose to take the first half of the toy. The heavy texture can make the anus tense up due to the stimulation. So a good pre-stretch is recommended to fully enjoy this toy. Qwim actually has my favorite base out of the four. Good size, solid support when riding or fucking.

Where to buy?

Neotori sells his toys only through their website due to the high degree of customization.  Finn, Mundir and Qwim start out at 29€ and Jorhan at 35€. Naturally, choosing larger sizes or adding options will increase the price.

Dragon & Buddy

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Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: 16 colors in different configuration
Firmness: Medium to Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: KnotMe

Most custom dildo companies reside in the USA. So if you live in Europe and order from them, you have to factor in high shipping and custom charges. At the end of this Anal Toy Special I am delighted to review toys from two manufacturers who are based inside the EU.

Construction

KnotMe is in based in Krakow, Poland, fighting against the an increasingly hostile conservative social and political climate.

KnotMe Dragon and Buddy

As you have probably have guessed already when I review an anal toy, they make all their dildos out of platinum silicone. This means their delicious dongs are 100% body safe, hypoallergenic and easy to clean – as long as you stick to water- or oil-based lubed. The silicone oil in silicone and hybrid lubes will dissolve the material. You clean these toys by soaking them in warm dish-soap water, brush off all residue lube, dry and spray sanitizer on them and store them away not touching other toys.

Detail of the Suction Cup

When it comes to possible configurations, KnotMe is on par with most other manufacturers. Firmness-wise you can choose between soft (Shore A2 so a bit softer than Bad Dragon Soft), medium (Shore A5 like Bad Dragon Medium) and firm (Shore A10, a bit former than Bad Dragon Firm) regardless of the size. They do not offer split firmness. Colorwise you can choose between 16 colors, both in standard and pearl variety. Regardless of the variety, compared to other manufacturer the colors look a bit dull and flat. In the end, it is up to personal taste. Some testees enjoyed the more sedate and subtle looks of the KnotMe toys, other liked to popping and vibrant Bad Dragon style. To color the toy it can either have one color, have a split between base and body or have a marble look called mix which I chose for my toys. Some toys can be equipped with a suction cup for an additional 10€. As with any other manufacturer I implore you to choose this option. In the shower, on the playroom floor, on the thigh of your boy friend… A suction cup is just too useful to safe the money and not having it! Some toys like the Dragon automatically come with a suction cup build in their base.

Toy Name Size Diameter Glans Diameter Knot Insertable Length Overall Length
Buddy S 32mm 63mm 140mm 175mm
M 40mm 75mm 165mm 210mm
L 50mm 85mm 200mm 250mm
XL 60mm 117mm 260mm 325mm
Dragon S 40mm 55mm 160mm 190mm
M 50mm 68mm 195mm 230mm
L 60mm 80mm 220mm 260mm

Detail of Buddy’s Canine Glans

Playing with Buddy and Dragon

For this review I chose the two most requested toys from their 10-mold range: The Buddy and the Dragon. Both have the unusual yet nifty property that their glans diameter is about the same as the shaft diameter above the knot which makes for an intense knotting experience.

Though Buddy is the rougher of the two. Starting out with a canine-inspired pointy tipped, yet overall dull glans with a significant glans drop on the sides and bottom, Buddy does not smoothly open up the sphincter. The shaft however is a bit anti-climatic. It is slightly convex and bulges a bit towards the bottom. There is also a faint hint of a ventral groove but you REALLY have to focus to feel it with your fingers, let alone your sphincter. The main event resides below the shaft: Two massive slightly oval spheres which form the knot. Even being experienced with anthropomorphic dildos, it is hard for me to find the right words to express how intense the knotting feels!  Since the spheres are compressed on the top and the bottom, their top is flatter and thus duller than you would expect. The knotting is even intensifies by the small recess of the shaft’s bulging above the knot. This is a nice design feature if you just play with the shaft. It offers a “resting” places and emphasis the shaft’s sublet stretching sensation for the more inexperienced player. For the people wanting to take the knot, this pushes the shaft-knot ration to almost 1:2.1, giving even Bad Dragon’s Fenrir a run for his money! Below the knot there is just a short, about sphincter-wide resting space before flowing into an antro-base with a fur look-a-like texture. But the flatish bottom of the knot helps to lock it in place.

Buddy’s Knot

“Lock in place” is a good key word because this is actually what some testees have done with Buddy. Compared to his MASSIVE knot, the shaft is relatively short. So Buddy is the ideal buddy if you want an intense stretch without having to conquer depth. In the large version that I have got, it is just short enough for most testees to be worn without pushing deeper. The base is also smallish enough to more or less fit discreetly and comfortably between the cheeks and more important, not creating leverage. While Buddy is truly a dildo, some knot aficionado will find some use in him as a plug.

For (piston) fucking, Buddy is a bit cumbersome. The base it too small and folds easily if you have chose the suction cup. On the other hand, the suction cup is really strong so if you attach Buddy to a smooth surface, it will hold even during a vigorous fucking.

Dragon plays a different game than his Buddy (sorry, I try to make this the last “buddy” pun of this review. Promise!).  This starts with the tip which has an overall pointy cone-shape. Like the entire dildo it is oval so through twisting and turning inside the anus, it can open up the hole. Below the glans, there are four v-shaped grooves texturing the shaft. They are wide and deep enough to stimulate the anus, especially when fucking more forcefully. As for the prostate, they are not prominent enough to really “punch” it. It is more a gentle “scratching” massage.

Dragon’s Glans

The shaft gently flows into a smooth knot which extended only towards the top side; the shaft’s and knot’s bottom are almost straight. Except for a ridge extending from the shaft’s bottom over it, the knot is completely smooth. At the bottom it tapers smoothly towards the stem where the anus can rest after the knotting. Don’t get me wrong, due to the size and shape, it is a heftyish knot to take. But it tapers so nicely that it can be taken and pushed out easily once you the hole is loose enough.

The base is round, anthro-textured and always features a STRONG suction cup. While Buddy is for the extremer play, Dragon is actually a good starting point if you want to get into knot and anthrodildo play. Both the glans and the knot go in easily (looseness provided) and it has a bit texture to get hooked on it but not too much to make taking the toy difficult.

Dragon’s Knot

Where to buy?

Like all custom-order toys, KnotMe sells only through their website. This way you can configurate the toy just the way you want it. Buddy starts at 60€ and goes up all the way to 160€ in XL with all options selected. Dragon starts at 70€ but ends already at 115€.

Paddle Daddy Rubber Strap with Walnut Handle

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The Paddle Daddy Walnut Handle Rubber Strap

Vendor: Regulation

We are still in the middle of the Anal Toy Special. But the two last toys to be reviewed in this special are still in the hands (or holes) of testees and they have not returned them yet. I guess, with more and tighter lockdowns in place, people indulging in stuff they can enjoy at home on their own – like the dildos I borrowed them. For next week, I hope to return to the usual schedule. But in order to have to consecutive weeks without a review, enjoy this review of a paddle for true masochists.

Detail of the Screws Holding the Blade in Place

Construction

The Rubber Strap is a traditional, 355mm long two-material impact implement design. One side is made out of walnut wood. Like on all Paddle Daddy impact toys, all edges have been smoothed and rounded and surface has been meticulously oiled, giving you a high quality feel once you pick the toy up. The 130mm long handle slightly tapers towards the impact surface for a comfortable and secure grip. At the bottom of the handle, a leather loop is threaded through the hole for easy storage and securing the paddle onto the wrist. The handle flows into a short, 75mm wide section of wood with a perpendicularly carved slot. This slot houses a 75x185mm rubber strap is put and fixed to the handle using two screws. Unlike most other rubber paddles on the market, this strap is made out of a single piece of rubber instead of two layers with fabric tape between them, making it one of the thinnest rubber paddles out there at 6mm thickness. The rubber has been thoroughly deburred to prevent unintended chafing.

Detail of the Ergonomic Handle and the Leather Loop

The massive handle compared to the relatively light slapper means that the Rubber Strap is handle-heavy. Combining this with the dynamic the slapper develops throughout a scene, hitting continuously over extended periods of time can tire out top’s the wrist.

Playing with the Rubber Strap

When looking at this paddle, there are two aspects to consider: The fetish and the play side. Especially hardcore rubber fetishists are often frustrated by the selection of mostly leather impact implements. In that regard, the Rubber Strap is an epiphany. Opening the parcel it arrived in filled the room with intoxicating rubber smell; its surface feels silky-smooth like all thick, industrial rubber. Yet to be honest, the leather loop and wooden handle take a bit away from this immersion. But a blindfolded (rubber) sub’s fantasy – being left with just his sense of smell, touch and maybe taste – will be properly stimulated by this paddle.

Detail of the Rubber Blade Resting in the Walnut Handle

If you want to sum up this toy play-wise, there is one word: Evil! Meanly evil, delightfully evil, surprisingly evil. During the review process, I have heard many things from my testees – both top and bottom – about this paddle but all call it evil. This is mainly due to strap’s construction. Being really flexible it transmits most of the kinetic energy onto the bottom’s body in a stingy way. So even medium-light slaps create a noticeable sensation. Adding a bit more force increases the pain exponentially up to an excruciating level! So this is neither a warm-up paddle nor for the faint of heart. As an added sensation, the rubber will stick a bit to the skin. So there is a little pinch every time the rubber separates from the skin. This effect will increase as the rubber warms up during the scene.

Like all rubber impact implements, the Rubber Strap colors quickly leaving the hit skin red and irritated. Being light, it is also not a bruiser. However, increased, forceful impact on one skin area can cause it to break.

Luckily, rubber is easy to clean. Regardless if it is sweat, tissue fluid or even blood, you can wipe the slapper off with warm soap water, dry it and spray sanitizer on it. This makes this paddle perfect for scenes with multiple subs where you have to clean you impact gear quickly. However, this paddle is not really made for messy scenes due to the wooden handle. Unlike latex gear, the rubber does not really need care. However, to maintain it, do not expose it to oils and fats. In VERY heavy scenes, the screws holding the strap can become a bit loose. This can be fixed with a simple screwdriver in a second.

Conclusion: Intensely pain dealing and intoxicatingly smelling rubber paddle.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Powerful enough to bring a true masochist to tears Low intensity is even too strong for warm-up Regulation £79.99
Colors quickly
Mouth-watering rubber smell

Beastli, Slinky, Ramsta & Conka

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Toy Properties

Form: Dildo & Plug
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: Black & some special colors
Firmness: Medium to Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: John Thomas Toys

John Thomas Toys is a good example how you, as my readers, influence what I review on this platform. Over the past few years, a larger number of silicone (fantasy) anal toy brands have been founded. Way more than I can keep track off. And sometimes, even a big brand slips below my radar (after all, ToyTorture.com is a hobby, not a 9to5 for me). So when over the course of the past few months I have been getting more and more messages about John Thomas Toys, I decided to include this brand as a first in this anal toy special.

The John Thomas Toys Beastli, Slinky, Ramsta and Conka

Construction

Like I have already written in the intro, John Thomas Toys only manufactures toys out of platinum silicone. In the past years, this material has become the material of choice for me and made me to replace ALL my vinyl toys for silicone ones. Platinum silicone is 100% body safe and hypoallergenic. The surface is super-smooth making it hard for bacteria to linger and the toys easy to clean: Soak them in warm dish-soap water, if necessary use a soft brush to get lube residues off, dry, sanitize and store away. What some consider a draw-back is that you must not use silicone lube with platinum silicone because the silicone oil in it will dissolve the silicone. As an avid anal player who only uses water-based resp. powder-based lubes like vetgel or XLube and very rarely Crisco, this limitation does not really affect me and to be frank all my other play partners. In order not to expose the toys to plasticizers that could harm them, stores them in a well ventilated place without touching other toys, especially rubber or vinyl/ PVC toys. There have been (anecdotal) cases of different silicone toys effecting each other but the reactivity at room temperature of properly processed platinum silicone is very low so it is highly unlikely.

Detail of Beastli’s Textured Glans

So much what is true for all platinum silicon manufacturer. While most companies in this industries offer almost a plethora of customization possibilities, John Thomas Toys takes a different route: They design the toys in the UK and manufacture them in the USA. This means, unlike other companies where you have to wait for weeks and months, their stock is ready to be dispatched immediately.  Drawback is, what you see on their website is what you get. Colorwise this means all toys come in black and usually in one or two other colors/ pattern. You can choose between soft and medium firmness, which – to be frank at Shore A15 and A20 is more a medium and firm. All toys come with a vac-u-lock home which makes them easier to navigate when playing with a partner (simply stick one finger in it) or enables a wide range of nifty accessories like handles, suction cups or fuck machines when you play on your own.

Toy Name Size Diameter Glans Diameter Mid-Shaft Diameter Above Base Insertable Length Overall Length
Beastli S 32mm 46mm 53mm 160mm 178mm
M 40mm 60mm 66mm 201mm 229mm
L 56mm 176mm 112mm 269mm 305mm
XL 75mm 118mm 356mm 406mm
Slinky S 39mm 45mm 45mm 147mm 178mm
M 53mm 58mm 58mm 200mm 229mm
L 73mm 81mm 81mm 269mm 305mm
XL 89mm 105mm 105mm 330mm 406mm
Ramsta S 24mm 45mm 50mm 152mm 178mm
M 36mm 61mm 65mm 200mm 229mm
L 48mm 81mm 84mm 266mm 305mm
XL 63mm 107mm 111mm 356mm 406mm
Conka S 32mm 40mm 36mm 89mm 101mm
M 44mm 61mm 50mm 132mm 152mm
L 56mm 81mm 65mm 183mm 208mm
XL 65mm 97mm 79mm 228mm 267mm

Detail of Slinky’s Softly Flowing Texture

Beastli, Slinky, Ramsta & Conka

Generally speaking, John Thomas Toys makes toys for texture aficionados. Almost all of their toys are covered in grooves, ridges, bumps and drops which make for an intense stimulation of the anus and the prostate. Naturally these toys are not for compete novices because the texture makes these toys harder to take than like-sized smooth counterparts. So either pre-stretch properly or choose a size smaller than you would usually do. However, some of the toys are tamer than they might look at first glance.

 

Detail of Beastli’s Curveted Rigdes

Beastli is the most intense of the four toys in this review. Starting out with a dullish glans textured with two rings of bumps and a considerable glans rim drop, it starts out with a bang for the anus and the prostate. The shaft’s basic shape is a steeply tapering, slightly convex cone. But this shape is actually hard to spot because the shaft is heavily textured. Five curveted, steep and thick ridges divide the body in six segments. Between these segments the surface is not smooth but covered in small grooves and bumps; it almost looks like elephant skin. At the back of the shaft runs a thick ventral groove from just below the glans all the way to the bottom. All of this texture makes the Beastil the perfect toy for riding on your own. While the diameter gradually increases, your ass opens up over time more and more to take the next ridge until you hit the base. Since none of the texture runs perfectly perpendicular, the Beastli is also a good toy for getting fucked by a partner. Twisting the dildo inside the hole unleashes a completely new set of sensations because feeling the curvature of the ridges move inside the hole is a unique sensation neither my testees nor I have felt before.

Detail of Slinky’s Tip and Texture

Compare Beastli, the Slinky is a surprising soft and gentle toy. It has actually become my top recommended toy for bottoms starting out with texture play. At the top there is a long and smooth cone-shaped glans that softly opens up the sphincter. The maximum diameter of this toy is only about 5% larger than the glans diameter. So if you can take the glans, you can take the rest of the toy. The shaft is texture with smoothly rising and relatively steeply dropping ridges. These ridges go all around the shaft. There is not ventral groove or other lateral texture. This means then a top twists the toy in order to encourage the anus to open up more, no texture will irritate this delicate body area causing it to tense up. The sensation of having Slinky more or less rapidly enter and leave the anus is more of a gentle message. So it looks tougher than it is actually is.

Detail of Ramsta’s Tip and Texture

This also accounts for the last two toys in this review. Despite being very different in basic shape – Ramsta beiong a dildo and Conka a plug – they share the same properties. Ramsta starts out with a perfectly cone-shaped, slightly elongated tip. From there on the shaft slightly increases in diameter till the base. Just below the tip a ring of six half-dome bumps with a diameter of 18.5mm and a height of 14mm goes around the shaft (all size for my size large). There are seven of these rings which are staggered so in the gap between two bumps there is a bump in the ring below. The gaps are filled with two 10mm x7mm bumps above each other. Since the diameter increases further down the shaft, the gaps between the bumps increase. To be honest, taking the first ring of bumps is a challenge. The individual bumps are quite steeps and the relatively large gaps between them are not really encouraging the sphincter to open up. So a good pre-stretch is necessary! But once inside, the bumps are so close together that they more feel like a bumpy surface than individual peaks. Yes, the sensation of having Ramsta vigorously drilled into your ass and quickly twisted is intense. But not nearly as intense as you might guessed/ feared from looking at the dildo. The sensation becomes more intense the further you go down the shaft because the gap between the bumps increases.

Conka’s Vac-U-Lock Hole as an Example for the Feature on all John Thomas Toys

With the Conka is about the same game. It looks intense but then actually surprised how gentle it was. The almost perfectly cone-shaped body is covered in staggered rows of four cone-shaped bumps. While at the tip there are two rows of small ones, over the following six rows the diameter only slightly increases so there are no gaps. The gaps between four last big bumps is filled with two small bumps. When I looked at the toy, I guessed it would be heavy to take. But the bumps are so evenly distributed without gaps, they feel and behave like a textured surface with. The sensation intensity between Conka and Ramsta is about the same as between Slinky and Beastli. The Conka gives a nice, intense massage when fucking or twisting inside the hole.

Conka with his Even Texture

Where to buy?

John Thomas Toys only sells their toys directly through their website. The models cost between £39.95 and £229.95 depending on the shape and size. When you want to purchase one of the models, I highly recommend searching for them on John Thomas Toys’ website to see if they have an exciting color for this particular toy in stock. Mine are all black but for the bunch I am going to get, I will most definitely be more adventurous colorwise.

Thor’s Hammer & Chorizo n‘ Eggs

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Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors:
Natural Tan, Deep Brown and Black
Custom colors possible
Firmness: Soft to Medium, custom degrees possible
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Mr Hankey’s

Construction

Both Thor’s Hammer and Chorizo n‘ Eggs are realistic toys, meaning they are modeled after a human penis.

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Chorizo n‘ Egg & Thor’s Hammer

Thor’s Hammer starts out with a steeply tapering, cut glans which has a diameter of 80mm. Missing the foreskin, the glans has a relatively steep drop below the glans rim. Just below the glans there is a narrow area of light bulges and grooves which resemble the scars of a circumcision.  At this area the shaft has a diameter of 74mm which then increases in size to 84mm above the balls. The 250mmm long shaft is textured with few yet thick veins and a big ventral groove. The base is shaped like two balls for a good grip when playing with Thor’s Hammer.

Like no man’s dick is the same, the Chorizo n‘ Eggs is a completely different game. The most noticeable difference is the foreskin over the glans through with the glans tip is peeking out. This leads to the glans being a bit dull. In addition is short and tapers shallower. There is a small drop below the glans. The shaft is almost textureless and in the first third reaches the maximum diameter and the lightly decreases in diameter before hitting the two big, bulgy balls which form the base. Unlike Thor’s Hammer which is a one-size toy, Chorizo n‘ Eggs comes in five sizes.

Size Diameter Glans Diameter Mid-Shaft Diameter Above Base Insertable Length Overall Length
Small 50mm 56mm 55mm 157mm 201mm
Medium 60mm 68mm 65mm 185mm 241mm
LG/ XL 70mm 79mm 75mm 216mm 280mm
XXL 80mm 90mm 85mm 243mm 305mm
XXXL 96mm 109mm 105mm 285mm 365mm

Detail of the Vac-u-Loch Holes

Material-wise both toys are similar. They are made out of platinum silicone, making the toys 100% body-safe, super-smooth and easy to clean. A little grain of salt is that silicone toys must not be used with silicone or hybrid lube. Both kinds of lube will disintegrate the surface. Water and oil based lube are safe to be used with silicone toys.

Detail of Thor’s Hammer’s Veine Texture

Silicone is a material that can be colored easily and which color does not fade over time. As standard colors Mr Hankey’s only offers their dildos in black, natural tan or deep brown. However, for $29.95 you can get custom coloring, like the two-tones I have gotten mine in. Firmness-wise you also get only two choice. First there is Medium which is a bit firmer, about the firmness of a rock-hard dick. If you are a texture junkie like me, you definitely want to go this way because it makes every ridge and vein very noticeable! 75% firmness is a bit softer. It turns the texture into tantalizing massage spots and thus is more recommended for the novice. Mr Hankey’s Toys does offer custom firmness if you want the toys smoother or firmer. For only $4.95 a Vac-U-Loc hole can be added to every toy. Originally designed to attach the toy to fuck machines, there are a number of nifty accessories out there for this kind of system: Handles, Strap-On harnesses, suction cups and double-dildo connectors. Because of this I highly recommend adding this inexpensive feature to your toy. There are just too many useful scenarios along the way to go cheap on this one – even if you don’t have the accessories. During play I stick my finger in the hole to control the toy more easily.

The Dullish Glans of Chorizo ’n Eggs

Playing with the Thor’s Hammer & Chorizo ‘n Eggs

I was inclined to say that Thor’s Hammer is a beginner’s toy – if it wasn’t for his size! The glans gradually open ups the sphincter for an easy initial insertion. The big glans drop however stimulates intensively both the anus and prostate when fucking vigorously all the way.

Through the gradual increase of shaft diameter, Thor’s Hammer does not challenge the hole diameter-wise. This is good because the texture is somewhat between a challenge and a delight for the experienced anal play. The veins both run lateral and perpendicular so regardless if you ride this dildo or have your top twist it in your hole, there will be an intense stimulation. Since there are so few but high-risen veins, you can feel each and every one of them. So despite the gradual increase, it is not a warm-up toy. The base actually surprised me a bit: I fear that the small diameter would make Thor’s Hammer hard to ride without a Vac-u-Lock suction cup. It turns out, in most solo play situations, the base does not break out easily. So it is a fun and convenient toy for solo play.

Thor’s Hammer’s Cone-Shaped Glans

While Thor’s Hammer is not for the faint of heart, Chorizo n’ Eggs is actually a good training toy – if you pick the right size for you. To be honest, the dull and short glans makes it a bit hard to initially take. Most of my (not so experienced) testees found a bit of pre-stretching with a plug useful. But since the maximum diameter sits in the upper third of the shaft, riding Chorizo n’ Eggs is good for training the sphincter to open up more easily. It is actually one of the few toys I would recommend to train an anus to open up for a fist. The dullish tip, cone-shaped glans and increasing and decreasing of diameter very loosely resembles how it feels to take a fit – of course in way shallower scale.

Chorizo ’n Egg’s Shaft with the max Diameter in the Upper Third of the Shaft

Compared to its length, Chorizo n’ Eggs is quite girthy, even above the base and despite the max diameter sitting way higher. Due to this, some of my testees found it the perfect toy to “sit on” without getting problems with their second sphincter – at least in the smaller size. Again, it is a good toy to train the sphincter to keep open. The shaft features little frills. This is good for a training toy which should be easy to take. But when playing with a partner, the toy quickly gets “boring”. So when you are looking for a toy to make your bottom squirm, I would recommend to look for a toy with a little more texture, like Mr Hankey’s Lampwick. But for solo play and especially training, the Chorizo n’ Eggs is great toy.

Where to buy?

Mr Hankey sells their toys directly through their website. This is the best way to get them when you want to customize them even further. They also run promotions on a regular basis so check their page regular to snatch a bargain. The Thor’s Hammer starts at $159.95 depending on how many extras you add, the Chorizo n’ Eggs starts at $124.95 and goes up all the way to $228.95 + extras.v