The Wonders of Playing with a Newbie

I spent the last weekend with friends who are part of the organizing committee of the Mr RubClub contest where Germany’s MIR contestant is chosen. It was a remarkable party due to two reasons.

First it was my first contest party. The contest itself was fun despite the under heated room. I have never been at a drag show because it didn’t interest me (until now?) but the MC who was a SPI member was hilarious so I might visit a drag show this year. The contest wasn’t as interactive and complex as the ones in the US, it is basically just a series of short films where the candidates present themselves and their relation to the community and afterwards everybody can cast their vote. However, I have rarely felt such an intense sense of connection within and with the kinky and especially the rubber community. It was an awesome experience.

Second and more important was the experience of playing with a person fairly new to BDSM. I was introduced to him on PlanetRomeo prior to the party through a mutual friend. He was cute but I wasn’t really in the mood for playing. He was feeling subbie and in Germany most of the fetish community events are more about fucking than BDSM with everything that goes along with it (p.e. difficult access to toys stored at the checkroom, strange people touching you while playing, etc.). But he and my friend convinced me to take some toys with me after all. After the contest was done, I grabbed my little toy bag, took him to the playroom, bound his hands behind his back, attached two silicone loops around his balls and dick and attached them to my ET232. What followed afterwards was an incredible experience. Not only did he respond really well (he maxed my estim box on High Frequency, something I have not managed yet which was incredible hot) but I was struck by the sense of wonder, excitement and enthusiasm he was showing. The glowing in the eyes, the subtle intensifying of his breathing turning into moaning when I turned up the intensity, teaching him how to breathe and work his way through the pain, resulting into the changing of his face expression from agony to ecstasy. It was more rewarding and satisfying than some session I have with an experienced pain pig when the inner sadist comes through wanting my subs to wiggle and scream as much as they can. After he had enough you could really see the gratefulness in his eyes and the involuntary smile of endorphins rushing through his body as soon as the box was turned off.

After we grabbed a drink he was so curious about the BDSM scene, how stuff works, what can, should and mustn’t be done. And the entire 5 hour bus drive home the next day we were texting forth and back allaying his thirst for knowledge. The situation was kind of bizarre to me: I have ever thought of myself as a more or less experienced “newbie” to the scene having only been really active for about three years and there I was helping someone else discover the great world and wonders of BDSM. From what and how he is asking I am pretty sure he will become an awesome Kinkster, a greedy pain pig and maybe even a good top.

I have to admit that I am mostly trying to play with more or less experienced kinksters because the play is mostly easier and more intense – and I believe at least some people in the community feel the same way. But all it took was about an hour of my time to spark the fire in ones heart and what I got back was emotionally so rewarding and in the long term might enrich our community with another hot, creative and perverted fucker. So please see this short piece as an encouragement for a new year’s resolution: The next time you see someone standing shyly in the corner of a leather bar or someone with now experiences who just wants to try messages you, sacrifice a bit of your time and give him a glimpse into our world. You will probably be rewarded with something way more satisfying than just a great scene.

Don’t Inject Poppers!

Once in a while I get questions I think/ fear others might have and for the better for all kinksters I decide to post my reply publically. This poppers question is one of them:

Hey,

I really like poppers, it helps me take bigger things up my hole but the effect of the poppers is only so short-lived. Would it help to inject the poppers maybe directly into my anus to maximize the effect?

Short answer: No, it is even dangerous!

Long answer: Poppers is caustic, especially in delicate areas like muscous membranes (p.e. in your nose). There have been reports of death when swallowed. When you inject it directly into a muscle you “only” will win a trip to the emergency room and sever burns inside your muscles.  Injected into a vein it will be leathal! If you want to know more about poppers, listen to this great short episode of the NoSafeWord Show.

But there are a number of other options you can use in order to prepare your hole for some intense action:

  1.  Anal relaxation sprays: A combination of caring and relaxing botanicals like lavender or rosemary is sprayed on the anus and after a short time your anus will find putting stuff into yojr ass more easily. There are a number of different products on the market and not everyone works as well for everyone like poppers. Try some out. Sadly they are rather expensive.
  2. Special lube: There are numbening lubes out there which relax your anus and make it less sensitive so you can apply a bit (!) more force when pushing things inside your hole. My friend Drewlion developed a special lube also using botanicals like the sprays to facilitate relaxing. Since he uses essential oils they are technically not (latex) condom/ glove safe.
  3. Local anesthetics: In order to insert catheres or other medical device into untrained holes local anesthetics like Lidocain are used. They come in gel or spray forn and work great but have the downside that they will affect your feeling so the insertion sensation will be somewhat between different to nonexisting. More importantly: You will probably not feel if something goes wrong so be extra careful!
  4. „Poppers“ containing balm: Another medicine you can use are balms used to tread anal fissures. They contain Glyceryl trinitrate p.e., will relax your hole and will make you a bit dizzy like with a small poppers rush.

If you don’t want to apply anything to your hole and toys, hypnosis and self-suggestion can help loosening up your hole. You see, there are a lot of possibilities out there to make the anus extra soft but doing something very bad with poppers.

Christmas Gift Tip IV: Books

In a few moments I am off to my folks at home for Christmas but I don’t want to let you alone three days before Christmas Eve without some last minute gift ideas. Since books are still one of the easiest to obtain goods in our economy here are three books I would recommend for every Kinkster to own.

Leatherfolk by Mark Thompson

LF

When I was in Chicago this spring this book was recommended to me by a fellow Kinkster of being a basic reading and I have to agree: Covering everything from the history of the scene by decade since the war through gripping autographical examples , essays that explore our lust and desire from a personal and scientific angle up to the spiritual aspect of kink it provides background info for the novice and new ideas for the experienced player.

Leathersex by Joseph W. Bean

LS

This book has a more hands-on approach. It covers nearly every possible kind of play, gives advice and thus showcases what can be done to a sub. It goes into fairly depth in every topic so for a novice top it is a good basic read to get started. More experienced players will probably discover something new to try out.

Urban Aboriginals by Geoff Mains

UA

In Urban Aboriginals Mains brings science to the play party. He discusses the influence of our body’s gratification system on why we enjoy kinky stuff and how our scene works on a sociological base. Despite some hot example texts and quotes from kinksters it can be a hard read sometimes but when you want to know why your dick is jumping when certain things happen, read this book. But I have to give a word of warning: The book was written in the early 80s and I am not a neuro scientist so some of the things describe might be outdated or proven wrong. If you have knowledge about that please write me an e-mail.

Christmas Gift Tip III: Kinky Teddy Bears

One of the first pieces of advice I have gotten when I have started to get into heavier play was to always have something to hold onto ready when the endorphins should crash down hard. So I made it a rule to have a stuffed animal around when I had a play session. It is a standard one that might look a bit odd in a dungeon. Luckily there are a number of different options out there to get some kinky inspired cuddle material not only for the playroom but your couch or to piss of your siblings when you give their youngsters an “alternative” stuffed animal.

For many years Fetters has been making teddy bears made out of leather. Depending on the model they can be customized in dozens of ways: Different color combinations, collars, toys, etc.

Fetters1

 Daddy Fetter Bear 60cm around 110€

Fetters2

Bondage Fetter Bear 60cm starting at 112€

Fetters3Baby Fetter Bear 60cm around 90€

Just recently Recon teamed up with Fetters to create a teddy bear in their icon color combination of black and read. He comes collard and has a zipper pocket on the back to maybe store other post session stuff like chocolate.

bearlogo2

Recon Cable Lock Leather Bear 88,88€

If you are not into leather and like the “classic” plushy bears there are also a number of different options out there.

HM Leather offers teddy bears in three different versions of leather gear from full body harnesses to chaps and vest.

HML

HML Scene Teddys 39,90€

The SlingKing teddy bear is the ideal choice for bondage boy coming in a full body harness, leather cap, blindfold and restraints.

SlingKing

SlingKing Bär Marci 89,95€

If you are like me more of a pain pig Peitschenhandel has an entire range of stuffed pain pigs… ehm… bears engaging into tit torture, flogging or being bound into all kinds of positions.

Peitschenhandel1Peitschenhandel Teddy with Nipple Clamps 19,99€

Peitschenhandel3Peitschenhandel Teddy with stand pillory, Flogger and Shirt 59,90€

SeriousToyS “Janus” Paddle

Left: Cow hide side of the Janus Paddle
Right: The all lacquer coverd paddle

As you might know when it comes to impact play I am more a fan of thuddy sensations. So purchasing paddles is always a bit depressing since most of them sting. When I visited Demask Dortmund to take pictures of the Rubber sarcophagus I was surprised to find a new kind of paddle: It has the form and basic construction of the McHurt Mini Bat but is offered in new and exciting varieties: The first variety is an all black paddle covered in lacquer which has SERIOUS sting. The second one I have named “Janus” Paddle: One side comes in normal cow hide, the other side is made out of padded suede. While the cow side has the same sensation as the McHurt Mini bat, the suede has despite being small and light a nice, deep thuddy sensation which I love. This version of the paddle comes in different color schemes: All black or with red suede. Apparently there is a all brown version in the making and one with lacquer on one side and suede on the other side.

Left: Padded suede side of the Janus Paddle
Right: The all lacquer coverd paddle

This toy has earned itself a place on my desiderate list  because it is the first toy I have come across that combines small size and light weight with great thud.

All versions of the paddle cost 39€ and can be ordered via e-mail.

Christmas Gift Tip II: SeriousToyS Rubber Sarcophagus

SeriousToyS Rubber Sarcophagus without a person inside

SeriousToyS Rubber Sarcophagus with the sub placed inside ready for the air to be sucked out

I have been in a bunch of crazy and intense bondage device but when I recently strolled through my local kink store Demask Dortmund I was amazed when I saw this piece of dungeon furniture: A rubber sarcophagus. It is basically two rubber bags filled with pellets connected with a run-around zipper. You lie down between the bags, wiggle around to create a bit of space around you and suck the air out of both chambers. The feeling afterwards is a bit like being restrained between big packs of vacuum packed coffee beans. Depending on the space you have created before the air got sucked out you can move a bit but not much (definitely too little to work pain out, at least for me…). The feeling of confinement isn’t as strict as being in a vacuum bed or cube but the upside it that there isn’t constant pressure on your thorax so in theory you can stay inside the sarcophagus indefinitely long. But despite other vacuum dungeon furniture the material gets compact and stable enough to support an average weight person to stand or sit on it. To make the time inside a bit more interesting there are access points for the genitals, nipples and the head.

The surface pattern once the air is sucked out

The sub ecapsulated inside the rubber sarcophagus

Due to being a kind of sarcophagus the guys at Demask Dotmund went for an Egyptian inspired design but since it is build to order rubber color and trim can be customized. You can order this bespoken dungeon furniture via e-mail. Price upon request.

Update 01/15/2014:

I have just gotten a mail from the guys at Demask in Dortmund: This specific sarcophagus has been sold. If you still want one, get in touch with them. It will be made to your speficications which include size, rubber color and trim as well as the number and position of access points.

 

Christmas Gift Tip I: Kinky Calendars

Like last year I will present on every Sunday before Christmas some gift ideas for perverted friends.

Today it is all about calendars. Not only are calendars useful but something nice to look at especially when the motives feature guys in gear or kinky action.

Let’s start with Mister B. The iconic leather store from Amsterdam is celebrating its 20th anniversary 2014 and used it as an opportunity to collaborate with famous photographer Erwin Olaf and hot fetish models and porn stars to raid the Boots in Antwerp. The result are two extremely hot calendars featuring a wide array of different kinks. There are two calendars available. The horizontal one is “perpetual” calendar because it doesn’t have weekdays printed on it.

Mister B Anni CalendarMister B Anniversary Calendar: 19,50€

The vertical one has weekdays for 2014 printed on it and its motives are details of the pictures of the perpetual calendar.

Mister B 2014 CalendarMister B 2014 Calendar: 19,50€

2013 was also the year that the guys from Leathers.cz got into a photo studio to produce an amazing calendar show all aspects of leather life and kink. I have been told that this calendar is already sold out but maybe some lucky individual is able to find some last one.

CZ CalendarAnyone who loved this year’s MIR theme “Carnival of kink” will probably also love the 2014 Quälgeist calendar with the theme “Circus Freaks & Wildlife” taking an alternative and surprising look on kink, BDSM and fetish.

Quälgeist Calendar: 7,50€

If wall calendars aren’t your style there are also “inspiring” and distracting ones out there that will perfectly go with any leather desk accessory set.

RoB Berlin is putting out a new calendar each Folsom Europe which runs from September to August so you better get it sooner than later to get the most out of it. And best of all: It comes free with any order from their online store!

RoB CalendarRoB Desk Calendar September 2013 – August 2014: 5€

All previous calendars were ones that had one motive per month. If you want something new every day the Butt Calendar is the right one for you. Every day there is a new photo and a short interview, printed on Butt’s iconic pink paper.

Butt 2014 Calendar: 30€

Mr S Ultra Blindfold

Venor: Mr S

Construction

Pads below the eyes

As always with leather toys from Mr S this blindfold is made out of high quality leather.  The basic construction is like a sleeping mask you get on an air planes but with measuring 20cm from one end to the other it is large enough to cover the face of even people with large heads. Around the part covering the eyes runs leather piping which helps keeping the mask in shape. Below the eyes there are two thick and soft pads which help to block any light coming from below while keeping pressure from the eyes. When worn the mask is held in place by two straps: One is running above the ears, the other below. The first part of the straps is made out of trifolded leather mounted to the leather using rivets. The second part is an elastic band which can be adjusted to make wearing it comfortable yet pull the blindfold tightly enough towards the head in order block any light.

Front view

Putting the blindfold on is a bit of a hassle because at least the clumsy me had problems adjusting the straps while the sub is already wearing the blindfold which resulted in taking it off several times until it fit perfectly. But once it does it is frankly the best blindfold I have every worn: It is comfortable enough to be worn for a really long time, when adjusted correctly it can even withstand a sub ferociously wiggling while strapped down to a bed and still will block out any light. A nice feature are the two little pockets formed between the padding and the leather which can catch the tears of the sub.

Besides the use in the playroom the blindfold has become my standard sleeping mask when travelling because it blocks the light so well and is so comfortable. It even led to some interesting conversations and encounters while traveling to kinky events. But that is a different story…

Detail of the double d-ring adjusting mechanism and elastic band

Mr S also offers a version of that blindfold called the Ultimate Blindfold which has only one strap running above the ear. I played around with it when I visited the store. It blocks the light as well as the Ultra Blindfold, is a bit more comfortable to wear because the ears sometimes get in the way of the lower strap and is $2 cheaper. However due to only having one strap to keep it in place it is easier for the sub to shed it when he is bound.

Conslusion: The best blindfold I have come across until now
Pro Cons Where to get Price
No pressure on the eyes and thus can be worn for an extended period of time Difficult to adjust while being worn Mr S (Manufacturer) $58,95
Blocks all light Regulation £54,99
Large enough for people with bigger heads
Good adjustability
Stays in place
Great quality

 

Christmas Gift Tip 0: Decoration Tree Set “Studio”

Like last year I want to give you some Christmas gift ideas on every of the four Sundays before Christmas. However, I want to start a bit earlier this year.

On my lunch break yesterday I flipped through the German gossip weekly Gala and found the decoration tree set “Studio” from FashionForHome.de. Due to Germany copyright laws I am sadly neither allowed to post a photo of the article nor can post pictures from the webshop. But let me assure you: If you ever looked for a classy way to distributed wood anal plugs throughout your home, this is the way to go! However, you should be bit more on the experienced side if you actually are going to use them because the maximal diameter of these gorgeous “toys” ranges between 8cm and 10cm.

No Solo Breath Play EVER!

No Solo Breathplay Ever

I get several e-mails a week asking if I could recommend certain toys for a specific scene or kink and I am always glad to help if I know of something. Every couple of months I get an e-mail if I could recommend a toy for solo breath play. And the answer was and will always be: No! N-O! NO!!!

Ok, I wasn’t clear enough on that point.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no way of safe and secure solo breath play and will never be! No matter how smart you are and how well you have thought everything through eliminating every potential problem it is not safe. There is always something you haven’t thought of and eventually it will kill you! The kink scene has lost a lot of smart, nice, sympathetic, hot, kinky, perverted and experienced players who have thought that there would be a way to solo breath play. Believe me and many other kinksters: There is no way of safe and secure solo breath play! If you are into it look for a safe, sane, experienced top to live out your fantasies. It is the only way to have a long kinky live with lots of interesting breath play scenes!