And when the hour glass of temporariness has run out, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless, ineffectual activism has come to an end. When everything around you is silent and still, as in eternity, then eternity will ask you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: Whether you have lived in despair or not.
Søren, Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death
Happy holidays perverts! As every year, the most important thing first: If you are struggling or need mental support over the holidays, you can find an overview of international help hotlines here.
What a year it has been… Following the somber tone of last year´s post, I hoped this year to finally focus on toys and kink fun again. But the many elections on the past 12 months have shown that the period of easily won progress for individual rights and social acceptance is over. A welcoming climate has shifted to one where individuals and groups feel entitled and safe enough to attack minorities both verbally and physical. Not a day passes by without reading about attacks on LGBTQ+ people, sex workers or civil rights or civil society activists, even in areas we have considered safe zones.
Besides the attacks, there is a strong movement to role back legislation and protections, starting with trans right. Even if you are not a supporter of trans rights – which you absolutely should because they are just basic human rights! – don´t let yourself be fooled: Once they have taken away these “easy” to take rights, they will come for gay rights, for unmarried rigs, for sexual freedom until they have reached their bigot ἀνόσιος τόπος. So we must remain vigilant and vocal about these attacks and demand and fight for nothing but equality.
So much for the state of the world. On a personal level, at the beginning of the year ToyTorture.com was the target of a hacker attack which resulted in the website going offline. Being a sex toy expert and not an IT guy, I was devastated because I could not figure out how to fix it. After a couple of weeks I deiced to take this as a sign and after twelve years let this project die. But as soon as this decision was reached, I started to miss my little website. Through apps and e-mails I was still getting reader questions which could have been easily answered through a link to a review of 101. As the days got warmer and longer, a friend reached out who offered to help. And within a few weeks managed the miracle to bring back ToyTorture.com! He has earned my eternal gratefulness and I would love to give him credit but he explicitly asks to remain anonymous, considering what he did a favor to the community as my reviews and articles are.
The website came online just when I prepared for my bi-annual visit of a BDSM summer camp in the USA, followed by Folsom Europe – a time where I usually take a vacation from reviews. Just when I prepared to get back to reviewing, a bereavement in the closest family happened which drastically shifted priorities, at least for a few weeks. Add to that some very stressful few weeks at my daytime job and here we are at the end of 2024 already. Luckily, I at least managed to review the Kink 3D Cobra chastity cage just in time before Locktober started. So if your new year resolution is staying locked (more), check that out.
What will 2025 bring? Looking at the current state of the world, how quickly things shift and that even columns of the community – Darklands meaning crane pictures, Folsom Europe being on the second weekend of September – became flexible, I am just hope hoping for the best. For ToyTorture.com it will mean many new reviews. Certainly 10, probably 20, maybe even 30. An E-Stim special? Hopefully! Haven´t had one of those in years. Bigger anal toys? Already waiting in my playroom for the review to be written. Regarding the community, community is what we make off it. Our involvement and engagement, the voluntary work, the kindness and activism that we give, usually comes back tenfold. If we are loud and united, we cannot be ignored. We will not be perceived as victims or easy targets. So even when the future seems dire, don´t despair and retreat but find allies and together vocally demand the respect, the security and human rights which are are entitled to.
Regardless if you are celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, pigmas or are just enjoying a few days off and look forward to the opportunity to indulge in great food: I wish you happy and merry days among your loved ones and (chosen) family. For those who are struggling, know you are loved and there are peoplere people waiting for and celebrating you just the way you are. And as the new year approaches, remember to stay strong, stay united, stay kinky, stay optimistic and strive for the better. Hopefully in a few years, I will be able to write a more light-hearted holiday message again.
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven. That which we are, we are:
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield!
Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ulysses
