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Christmas Gift Tip 2: Bigger is Better

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One man’s pain is another man’s pleasure. Or in this case: One man’s playroom decoration is another man’s favorite toy.

Being in marketing I know that one that especially clothes for women are sold with the argument “just buy something that doesn’t fit and make it your goal to lose enough weight to get into it.” So today’s tips are for a number of different groups: For the people looking already for a new year resolution to train their ass or balls so much that by the end of next year they can take one of the toys. For the experienced size connoisseur who looks for something new to play with. And for the people who want to add a striking piece to their playroom which sparks a conversation and maybe an interesting session.

I have been asked quite often if I knew an ass lock that is truly stuffing and comfortable to wear. The only one on the market I know off is the Keepburning Hoolalass. They have a number of attachments but the Hydro with a diameter of 70mm should be enough to even bring a greed hole pleasure when walking around wearing it.

Hydro

Hydro 39,90€

Hoolalass

Hoolalass Black 12,90€

I might be doing a review of the Hoolalass system in the next year if I can get my hands on one. So if you are interested to be kept updated follow me on Twitter and check my website on a regular basis.

Also from the guys of Keepburning comes the Finland Boll. With a diameter of nearly 11cm at the glans it is one of the largest dildos with a natural look. Sold either in classic black, flesh color or blue it is a great gift for any fistee working at home to finally get the second fist up his ass.

Finland Boll

Finland Boll 199€

Nearly as big but a whopping half kilogram heavier is the Estim Decimator plug. As you know I really love the design of their premium electrodes. And this is just the right one if you want to enjoy the feeling of getting fucked by electricity even after a heavy fisting scene – or if you like me are just looking for a stylish, kinky paper weight/ desk ornament.

Decimator

E-Stim Decimater £325

Another thing I like are stretched and bouncy balls. I love my ball stretcher because it fits my somewhat middle of the road balls just right. But if you are a fan of low hangers this ball stretcher from Mister B is the one to get. It stretchers your balls 12cm and with it weight of over 2kg the swing momentum of this stainless steel toy must be incredible somewhere between delightful agony and excruciating ecstasy.

Stretcher

Mister B Stainless Steel 120mm Ball Stretcher 199€

If you love low hangers but are not quite there yet, getting the Mandax Ultimate Ball Stretching System from Mister B is the way to approach your project for 2015. The system has three adjustable bars which will stretch your balls up to 18cm. A nice added feature is the it is equipped with a 2mm and a 4mm socket to attach to an electro box. It is only a monopole but with a Y-adapter and something from E-Stim systems premium range, you will have loads of fun.

Stretching Set

Mandax Ultimate Ball Stretching System 169€

Mr S Rubber Ball Gag

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Vendor: Mr S

The Mr S Rubber Ball Gag

The Mr S Rubber Ball Gag

Construction

The main body of this ball gag has roughly the shape of a wrapped hard candy: The mouthpiece has a diameter of 42mm and a length of 49mm. It ends on both sides in triangular flaps so there is little stress on the corners of the mouth when wearing the gag. Onto the flaps the strap is riveted. It is 18mm wide, can be adjusted between 45cm and 55cm circumference and is made out of Mr S’ soft oil tanned leather like this ball stretcher. A nice tough are the pieces of leather covering the back side of the rivet. This minimize the contact between the rubber and the metal and absorb a bit of draft put in the rubber thus keeping it from overstretching.

While last week’s mouthpiece was on the firmer side the mouth piece of the rubber ball gag is quite soft and easy to bite into yet firm enough that you can rest your teeth comfortably on it. It is covered in rubber so it has no problem with saliva or piss. Despite being sturdy 1mm thick rubber I would recommend not using this gag if you have any sharp edges on your incisors.

Detail of the Leather Reinforced Rivet

Detail of the Leather Reinforced Rivet

Playing with it

I got this gag during my trip to San Francisco in May 2013. I had the intention of buying the deluxe ball gag in the world and ended up buying this one despite the other one being an awesome ball gag!

Through the reviewing process of gags I found two types of gag users which I like to call bounds and biters. The bounds enjoy the feeling of something solid in their mouth. They want the feeling of their mouth being in bondage and thus a too soft material isn’t doing the trick. Biters on the other hand have a more practical approach: They enjoy the functional value of a gag (like silencing or drooling) but when they want to sink their teeth into something that gives in. Sadly gag, especially ball gags, with a soft mouth piece are hard to come by. Since I belong to the latter group I choose the rubber ball gag over the deluxe ball gag.

Detail of the Buckle with the Oil Tanned Leather Strap

Detail of the Buckle with the Oil Tanned Leather Strap

From a functional point of view this ball gag performs great: The mouth piece is firm enough to let your teeth rest on it comfortably and “encourages” drooling, yet soft enough to enable a satisfying bite. This gag come sadly only with a one size fits all mouth piece. It fits most people but for people with smaller mouths it has a bit of a stress bondage aspect despite being soft and for larger mouths it can feel lost a bit.

Because the strap is mounted on the far side of the flaps the gag can be worn for extended periods of time without any problems. This is also largely due to the softness of the leather which hugs almost hugs onto the skull. From a practical point of view the rubber is easy to disinfect and because the flaps go way over the corners of the subs mouth the leather won’t come into contact with saliva.

Conslusion: Good, low maintenance ball gag with soft mouth piece
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Soft mouth piece with right degree of firmness Only one size Mr S $39
Comfortable to wear for long periods of time
Easy to clean

Christmas Gift Tip 1: Kinky Chocolate

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Following the last two years tradition for the next four Sundays I am going to publish some Christmas Gift Tips for the kinkster who believes that he has everything.

Paul McCarthy's Christmas Tree made out of Dark Chocolate © Mademoiselle Chocolate 2014

Paul McCarthy’s Christmas Tree made out of Dark Chocolate
© Mademoiselle Chocolate 2014

Some of you might remember the sculpture of a big green inflatable buttplug called “Christmas Tree” put up at Place Verdome in Paris in October by artist Paul McCarthy. Sadly this piece of art was soon destroyed by a humorless and dull person. As a form of revenge Paul McCarthy opend up an exhibition at Monnaie de Paris called “Chocolate Factory”.

Santa holding a Tripple Ripple Christmas Tree made out of Dark Chocolate © Mademoiselle Chocolate 2014

Santa holding a Tripple Ripple Christmas Tree made out of Dark Chocolate
© Mademoiselle Chocolate 2014

There are chocolate versions of his “Christmas Tree” or Father Christmas holing an… ehm… triple ripple version of the Christmas tree. For all people who can’t travel to France to get their dark brown treat you can order them online at Mademoiselle Chocolate. They cost 50€ for either the tree or Santa Claus or 90€ for the set.

Mr S Fetters Front Buckle Gag with Locking Buckle

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Vendor: Mr S

Construction

The Mr S Locking Front Buckle Gag

The Mr S Locking Front Buckle Gag

The main body of this gag has roughly the shape of a stretched octagon with small recesses for the nose on the long sides. The inside of the body is made out of thick and soft padding covered with soft leather. In the middle of the inside there is a mouth insert which is 5,5cm long. It has roughly the shape of a penis with a “glans” diameter of 3,7cm and a “shaft” diameter of 3,2cm. My version of the gag has a rather firm yet very biteable version of the mouth insert. I had longer owned gags in my mouth and they had softer mouth inserts. I don’t know if this is a thing that comes with time or if Mr S changed the production process. Both hardness grades were comfortable to wear and to bite into. The outside of the body is made out of thick yet soft leather onto which two leather loops are riveted. Through these loops runs a long, 2,7cm wide thick leather strap. The punching allows for a diameter between 33cm and 60cm so it should fit almost all head sizes. At the end of the strap there is a locking roller buckle which makes closing the gag quite easily.

Playing with it

Gags can have different purposes: Make the sub drool, keep his mouth open or muffle the noises he makes. This gag is made for the latter and performs fairly at it. When fastened tight onto the mouth the padding absorbs quite some noise. But like every other gag I have put into people mouth or had in my mouth this is not a silencer but the best performing gag yet (even better than a butterfly gag). Also the padding makes the gag quite comfortable when pressed onto the face so it can be worn for extended periods of time.

Detail of the Penis shaped Mouth insert and the soft Padding

Detail of the Penis shaped Mouth insert and the soft Padding

What sets this gag aside from other ones are the small and clever details. The obvious one is the front locking buckle. For most subs it is a great mindfuck when you show them the lock and then put it into the buckle. They know that there is no way they are going to articulate, drink or even breath through their mouth until the master permits it. Especially the last constraint comes in handy when you want to do breath play: When tightly fastened sucking in air will only result in sucking the gag closer to the mouth so when you keep shut the sub’s nose there is no way he can breathe.

The mouth insert has as mentioned about roughly the shape of a small (?) penis. I have seen several subs who when going down into sub space started sucking on it which adds just a bit more to the scene. From a practical point of view the larger diameter of the glans gives the teeth a bit more support and keeps the gag in place which is good for longer scenes.

Detail of the Locking Roller Buckle

Detail of the Locking Roller Buckle

From a practical point of view this gag is ideal when you suspend a sub who is lying on his back: With the buckle on the front the can be undone and fastened without any problems even with a tightly bound sub.

Besides the play aspects this gag has also some fetish benefits for the leather lover. On the one hand there is the intense leather smell when wearing the gag. Mr S only uses high quality hides and them being pressed onto the subs face directly under his nose exposes him to the great, intoxicating leather scent of them. On the other hand (no pun intended) the soft garment leather above the padding almost feeling like a leather gloved hand pressing over your mouth. If you are a fan of Glover over Mouth play, this is definitely the gag to get!

Conslusion: The best silencing leather gag I know off
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Quite silencing Mr S $89.95
Comfortable to wear for extended periods of time
Great leather quality
Lots of fetish potential
Pratical

 

IKEA Proppmätt Paddle/ Chopping Board

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Vendor: IKEA

The IKEA Proppmätt Paddle/ Chopping Board

The IKEA Proppmätt Paddle/ Chopping Board

A couple of weeks ago I was strolling through IKEA with a kinky friend, talking about a spanking scene when we walked through the kitchen department and I started to wonder why there was a wood paddle on display in all the kitchens (yeah, I know, I have a dirty mind). So I picked up one to see how well it performs in the playroom.

Construction

Being actually a chopping board it resembles the form of a traditional one: It has a body which measures 14.5cmx19cm and a handle which is 4.5cmx10.5cm. The sides of the paddle are not straight but have a chamfer which makes it surprisingly easy and comfortable to hold. In the top quarter of the handle there is a hole through which a leather strap can be put for a hand loop.

Detail of the unfinished wood which can be improved by sanding

Detail of the unfinished wood which can be improved by sanding

The paddle is made out of 16mm thick solid glued beech wood and weights approximately 400g. Having been produced for cooking the surface is surprisingly smooth but just to make sure I would recommend using fine sandpaper on it once or twice especially on the chamfer. The wood is also untreated which will make it hard to disinfect and it will easily absorb sweat, lube, piss or other fluids in your playroom. You can prevent the latter by oiling (you can use standard olive oil for it or take other professional wood oils for coloring the wood) or wax it. In order to make it disinfectable you need to put a durable protecting coating onto it for which I would recommend going to your local hardware store and ask an expert.

Finally a piece of advice when buying one: IKEA produces good quality for the price they are asking so take a good look at the piece you are picking up if it isn’t damaged. I didn’t and a bit of wood cracked at the drilling. It doesn’t affect the using of the paddle but doesn’t look as good as it could.

Playing with it

The IKEA Logo can easily be erased by sanding

The IKEA Logo can easily be erased by sanding

I really enjoyed playing with this paddle. It lays good in the hand and has just the right size to still be able to hit individual body parts like ass cheeks or thighs. The impact sensation has some variety in it: Being on the heavier side of impact toys it can produce some thud when hitting with little force. However having a hard surface and nearly no flex in it as soon as you put some force into your blows it stings as hell. It colors the skin fairly quickly but the red fades away quite soon – if you been modest with your hits. I would call this toy a bruiser because it left some remarkable and one-week lasting bruises on three subs without having the intention of doing so.

The negative side of IKEA quality: A cracked drilling

The negative side of IKEA quality: A cracked drilling

Since this paddle has not been designed to be used as an impact toy, it has some shortcomings. The biggest is that it is hugely imbalanced towards the body. You need a lot of practice and strong muscles to perform an entire impact scene without tiring out your wrist.

Despite some shortcoming I would recommend this paddle especially for people just getting into impact play. It costs less than a coffee at Starbucks and performs surprisingly well if you approach it carefully and take your time to explore slowly the potential of this toy.

Conslusion: A fairly good small paddle for an incredible price
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Good size Not balanced IKEA 3€
Very inexpensive Need some additional treatment
Takes practice to get desired sensation

 

Keepburning Zizi Megamen

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Vendor: Keepburning

The Megamen Cocksling. Notice the different long tubes which make for a different sensation depending which way you put it on.

The Megamen Cocksling. Notice the different long tubes which make for a different sensation depending which way you put it on.

As you might know I like a good pair of bouncy balls when jerking, fucking or just walking around (even though for that I prefer a bit more weight). Earlier this year I reviewed my favorite ball stretcher the Oxballs Nuttsling. Back then I already wanted to compare it to the Keepburning Megamen cocksling but couldn’t get my hand on one just in time. I was especially curious because Oxballs is a ball toy maker who ventured into ass toys while Keepburning is know for their high quality ass toys and now makes toys for your junk. A couple of weeks ago Mister B sent me this toy so I can finally write the review I have been waiting for over half a year.

Construction

Like all dick and balls toys of this kind the cocksling is made out of relatively thin TPR making it very flexible. You can get this toy in 8 colors so even the most fashionable sub get the shade which he thinks will festoon his junk best.

Detail of the reinforcement of the opening holes.

Detail of the reinforcement of the opening holes.

The basic form of this toy is like the letter T. The main body is trapezoid thus following the anatomy of an erected dick. The tubes coming out of both horizontal sides of the main body are 9mm and 13mm long. The perpendicular tube provides 22mm of stretch and has a diameter of 35mm. All opening holes are reinforced with three thin rings which provide a bit snuggier fit.

Playing with it

Believe it or not this toy was one of the most debated one between my testees and me; naturally since it was up against one of my favorite and most often used toys…

Even more than the Oxball stretcher this one is made for really long term wear. Providing less stretch with a larger diameter there is less stress on your sack neck. So if you have tighter balls or just if you just want the kink feeling of having something on your body which doesn’t have too much of an effect this is the right stretcher for you. I have worn this toy for three days and to three full workout cycles to the gym, rode a bike several times and it didn’t bother me at all. The TPR is resistant towards sweat or piss and most forms of lube making it a 24/7 toy – if you are shaved. Pubic hair getting caught between the TPR and your skin is an “interesting” sensation you want to avoid.

A comparison of the material thicknesses between the Oxballs Nuttsling on the left and the Megamen cockling on the right.

A comparison of the material thicknesses between the Oxballs Nuttsling on the left and the Megamen cockling on the right.

Putting it on works like the Oxballs: Pull the vertical tube apart and put your balls through there, adjust the tube than pull the main body over your hard dick.

For any more play than just “wearing a ball stretcher” it really depends what you are looking for and you anatomy if this is the right stretcher for you. In order to get the bouncy feeling in your balls you need to have massive balls or be into pumping or saline. I have an average dick and a bit meaty, low hanging ball sack and my junk felt a bit lost in this toy. In order to add stretch you can of cause always use one or two or three (you greedy boys ;)) TPR cockrings like the Zizi Top. Of cause this toy works well as a separator between the conductive silicone loops when you use them for CBT. However especially for smaller balls I wouldn’t recommend this toy as a stretcher for ball beating because during several scenes a ball retreated into the tube. One thing I like about this ball stretcher is the T-shape with the differently long tubes: When the longer tube faces your body your dick gets a bit a bit pushed down which is an interesting sensation when fucking someone.

Conslusion: Comfortable ball stretcher for tight or big balls with true long-term potential
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Comfortable Can only be really filled by large genitals Keepburning(Manufacturer) 22,50€
Flexible A bit tricky to put on
Resistant towards sweat, piss and most lubes Uncomfortable with pubic hair

 

Mr S Four Buckle Hand Restraints

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Vendor: Mr S

Construction

The Outside of the Restraints

The Outside of the Restraints

Describing the shape of these restraints is a bit hard. A piece of padding covers everything from the front of the palm, the back of the hand down to way below the wrist. To make wearing the restraints more comfortable and enabling holding onto something there is a padding going between the thumb and the forefinger thus you have a left and a right restraint. The padding is 16mm tick, very soft and covered in soft either black or grey leather. Onto the part which goes over the palm four sturdy straps out of 3,5mm thick belt leather are riveted. Into the straps are enough holes punched to enable enclosing even very large hands. Fastening them is made easy due to the rolling buckles which are equipped with pointed pins so they go into the holes more easily. Each restraint has two D-rings: One on the palm side hold in place by a leather loop embossed with the Mr S logo and one attached just behind the buckle of the upper strap going around the wrist.

The Inside of the Restraints lined with the soft padding

The Inside of the Restraints lined with the soft padding

As always with Mr S the metal work is superb: Solid welded D-rings are hold in place by sturdy rivets so these restraints will withstand even the heaviest of play.

Playing with it

The Back of the Restraints with all four Buckles fastend

The Back of the Restraints with all four Buckles fastend

The construction of these restraints is ideal for any fixation with the hands above the head. When using the D-ring on the palm side the draft of the fixation pulls on the entire restraints evenly instead of pulling one side up and shifting the entire restraint like when using a cuff-style restraint with D-rings on the side. Furthermore the two lower straps support the wrist in staying upright even when the sub clings to the restraints when standing on the tip of his toes. This support is vital to prevent at best tiring out the joint or cutting circulation, at worst injuries from happening. Due to this property I highly recommend these restraints when attaching the sub to a St. Andrews cross. I especially recommend them for flogging: In order to relax the muscles of the upper back the upper arms should be in line with the shoulders like when tied onto a Latin cross. But when adding a bit of rope between the upper eyebolt and the palm side D-ring you can achieve that position on a St. Andrews cross.

The Front of the Restraints when worn

The Front of the Restraints when worn

What this restraint isn’t made for supporting your entire body weight! Of cause when tightening the straps firmly (for potential risks see last paragraph) your hand will not slip out of the restraint. But the draft will apply pressure from below on the hand bones which can cause injuries. Also due to the force the shoulders have to deal with in this stress position there is a higher risk of dislocation. If you want to suspend someone into the air for a short period of time, attach the restraints to a sturdy spread bar the sub can hold onto. For an extended period of time add at least a pair of padded foot suspension restraints (and better even add a waist belt) and always be aware of the threat of suspension trauma.

Detail of the Roller Buckle

Detail of the Roller Buckle

But these restraints are not only good for suspending someone standing up quite straight. They are also ideal for “traditional” bondage when lying down. Especially when you like to tie your subs into a spread eagle the palm side D-ring helps distribute the draft better than a traditional leather cuff. If you are a bondage enthusiast who enjoys the feeling of heavy and tight bondage gear these restraints I recommend them as a substitute for cuff-style wrist restraints. I had boys getting a boner just from the feeling of the four leather straps being tightened around their hand. Once fastened using both D-rings on anchor points in different moving dimensions will limit the movement of the hands quite strongly. Sadly these restraints don’t have at least one locking strap which would have added to the overall feeling of being caught in them.

The Mr S logo emobssed on the loop holding the front D-Ring

The Mr S logo emobssed on the loop holding the front D-Ring

How long these restraints can be worn depends on the form of the restrained hands and how tight you fasten the two upper straps. Since the tissue between your thumb and your forefinger is soft and gives in easily fastening the strap running between these two fingers too strong can cut the circulation. A similar yet not as extreme effect can happen with the strap running across the hand. Usually the thick padding prevents this from happening but if you want a really tight feeling of your hand being bound by leather be prepared that after some time restraints will have to get loosened.

Conslusion: The best restraints for over-head suspension I know and a great substitute for wrist cuffs
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Comfortable to wear even in stress position Risk of cutting circulation when fastening too tight Mr S $179,95
Intense feeling of being restrained Not locking
Two D-rings
Great build quality

Stylefetisch Leather Straps

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Vendor: Stylefetisch

Construction

Detail of the Roller Buckle

Detail of the Roller Buckle

Today I am basically reviewing leather belts. So the basic construction is fairly simple: It is a 35mm wide and 4mm thick strap made out of black, fine grained leather. You can get in various lengths; the ones I have gotten are 130cm, 120cm and 110cm but I guess you can also get them shorter. It features double punching starting approx. 18cm behind the buckle, each hole being reinforced by rivets. The spacing between the holes is 30mm so the belt can be adjusted quite finely. The buckle is a two-thorn roller bucket which makes closing and opening the belt easy.

Detail of the double punched strap

Detail of the double punched strap

Playing with it

I consider this type of toy a playroom essential because it comes in handy in so many situations: Tightening a bit too loose sleep sack, adding straps to a spanking bench, tying someone to a bondage table or a pole. Since these restraints are not padded I would only use them on areas which are naturally well padded like thighs, ass or the upper back. If you want to tie joints like the wrist or ankle down, make sure they are protected, p.e. through a pair of boots or thick gloves or use other, traditional padded restraints. Of cause for all these situations you can use rope but frankly for 4€ a piece, having some of them at hand when you need something quick is a wise investment in my opinion.

Conslusion: Basic and inexpensive dungeon essential
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Inexpensive No substitute for normal restraints Stylefetisch 4€

Going on hiatus

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To my own surprise I have published quite regularly the last couple of weeks – and been rewarded with raising reader numbers. Thank you very much for your support and interest! You are my motivation when writing new reviews.

However, the next couple of weeks I will be going on hiatus. Tomorrow I will be flying to Chicago for about 2 ½ weeks. I have the privilege and the honor of having been invited to join one American BDSM groups on their annual run so my mind will probably be elsewhere than on reviewing toys. I will of cause always keep my eyes open for new, interesting toys. Right after the event I will fly into Berlin for Folsom Europe. Since I will arrive on Saturday around noon, I hope I can still make it to the street fair. If you see me, come say “hi”.

Due to being quite occupied there won’t be any reviews and I will not be able to answer mail and messages. So please be patient if you try to contact me. I will get back to you late September. Until then: Have a great and kinky time.