Best for Self Play – Anal Toys

The Mr Hankey Dragon and XXXCalibur

In the past few weeks I have been getting an increasing amount of questions and messages which toys are best for self play. So this little series of guides should help you navigate my many toy reviews and help you get safe, sane and sexually satisfied through these times. I try to update this little series so if you don’t follow me on Twitter, check tomorrow evening for the next installment.

Surprisingly, the most questions I have gotten followed along the line: “I can’t see my long distance relationship partner/ play mates/ fuck buddies anymore and I haven’t used my dildos in years. Any idea for a good dildo?”

Left SquarePeg Leo 2X, Right Mel 2X

If you are looking for a realistic dildo, one of my favorite toys of all of 2019 was the SquarePeg Mel because of the many different ridges around the shaft. However, they only make realistic dildos in their signature Supersoft silicone. And if you are a texture junkie like me who want to feel every vein, that might not be enough. For this, take a look at Mr Hankey’s Toys who make toys in soft and medium varieties and if that is not enough offer custom firmness. When it comes to realistic dildos, they are have a wide range from porn star dongs over John Doe dick to uncut underwear anacondas. Both companies are offering Vac-U-Lock holes for their dildos so you can attach them to fuck machines or other nifty accessories for self play.

Topped Toys Gape Keeper 100 & Chute 75

Apparently many of you are using their time at home to stretch and train their hole. Hands down the best toy for that is the SquarePeg Egg. It opens the hole smoothly both on the way in and on the way out. The Topped Toys Gape Keeper does the same job, however, they only offer their toys in soft silicone while SquarePeg also offers a firm version. Personally, I prefer firmer toys for stretching but maybe these times are the perfect opportunity to find out your preference. What both toys are great for are long-term wear.

The Organotoy Eggs from Small to XXL

For really LONG term wear and some fun when moving out and about, take a look at the OrganoToy Eggs. They are designed to be swallowed completely, giving you a nice sense of fullness and stimulate the sensitive nerve endings inside your rectum. If you want to wear them over extended periods of time, especially the smaller ones, please get a version with the pullout chain or rope to get them out securely even when they start to wonder up your colon. Another nifty feature of the pulling out is the prostate stimulation.

Vergil the Drippy Dragon as a Representation of Bad Dragon’s „Glans and a Knot“-Dildo Design ontop of an Anthropomorphic Base

This segways directly into the last category of this short overview: Prostate stimulation toys. I have to preferred prostate toy: First Bad Dragon’s Vergil the Drippy Dragon. The shape of head and body are PERFECTY for targeting my prostate and I have gotten countless anal and prostate orgasms from it. The other is the SquarePeg Acorn. The small, innocent looking ridge around the rim seems small but in the right hands and position will drive you nuts. And I am sure you now have enough time to find that perfect spot for you. And yes, of course there is the OrganoToys SAW for prostate milking. It is one of the most bizarre toys I have come across in my eight years of reviewing kinky sex toys. If you want something unusual and want to support a small, independent toy maker, give it a try.

Tomorrow I will take the look at E-Sim toys to pleasure yourself.

Oxballs Pig-Hole Morph

Toy Properties

Form: Tunnel Plug
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Dark & Light Blue Swirl with Glitter
Firmness: Soft
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Mr S (USA) & Abgott Fetish (EU)

Rosebuds are red
Morph Silicone is blue
Oxballs got a new Pig-Hole
Here’s the review

Happy Valentine’s Day! ToyTorture.com is still on hiatus and will return just in time for the Easter debaucheries in Berlin. But every time Oxball releases a new Pig-Hole, my inbox explodes. So I am taking a break from the break to tell you the thoughts of the ToyTorture.com Testee Panel on the new Pig-Hole Morph.

The Pig-Hole Morph XXL

Construction

There is not much new about the Pig-Hole Morph. It is still a tunnel plug with a barrel-shaped body. Inside the body there are grooves for a bit added stability and texture sensation. The top of the body is a bit slanted for easy insertion while at the bottom it tappers and the opens up to a nice and wide base.

It comes in four sizes: Large, XL, FF and Deep-2 (the larger one of the Pig-Hole Deep) and is only available in a dark & light blue swirl with glitter. This tone is the signature color of Oxball’s new Morph Silicone which sets this toy apart from its predecessors. Keeping the shape, dimensions and wall thickness the same as the toys in the original silicone, the Morph Silicone is 10% stretchier (and about 10% lighter if you really have to watch your weight when flying…). Cleaning-wise it is still easy maintenance with just hot dish-soap water, a bit of brushing, drying, sanitizing and done.

The Original Pig-Hole XXL, the Pig-Hole Morph XXL and the Original Pig-Hole FF

Playing with the Pig-Hole Morph

If you want to know what makes the original Pig-Hole or the Pig-Hole FF great for play, check out their original reviews. In this article, I will focus how the new stretchiness of the material impacts the play.

First the bad news: The softer material makes the Pig-Hole even more difficult to insert. My recommendation is still to fold the toy, push the compact package through the sphincter and then manually unfold it. Folding the toy’s body with lubey hands has become a bit easier through the softer material, but getting it to pop through a not already gaping sphincter has become more difficult. Also, the unfolding takes a lightly looser sphincter than before since the material has less basic tension. So it is easier for the sphincter to close it (partly). But on the other hand, the Pig-Hole now adjusts more easily to body and gives in to movement. This is important for the people who want to wear it long-term. Especially when walking, the original silicone the base a bit to rigid and in some situation had so much leverage that the body was pulled out. This does not happen with the Morph.

Details of the Grooves inside the Body

The softer material also makes it easier to fist through the Pig-Hole. The top can get in easier and the chances of pulling the entire Pig-Hole out with the fist, are significantly lower. Since the material does adjust more to the surroundings and whatever is stuffed inside it, my testees preferred the Morph over the original Pig-Hole when adding a plug for shutting it. The plug stayed better in place, was more comfortable to wear over time and kept liquids from escaping more securely.

Detail of the Size Indicator at the Base

Finally, let’s talk about the texture side of things. Finally, the grooves inside the body can be felt properly when the top is targeting them. With the original material it was just a faint massaging, with the Morph you can really feel them when the top is pressing against them. If you want more, simply turn the Pig-Hole inside out. While this was already possible under great stress with the original Pig-Hole XXL and is probably theoretically possible with the original Pig-Hole FF, with the Morph it is a jiffy. Now the grooves are on the outside and pulled over a large enough toy or fist can turn it into an interesting textured plug!

Where to buy?

In the USA, Mr S sells the Pig-Hole Morph for $96.95 – 133.95 while in the EU Abgott Fetish seems to be the only retailer so far selling it between 80€ and 110€.

Happy Holidays you delightful reprobates! I hope you are all looking forward to some kinky fun and rectal stuffing after binging on all the delicious Christmas delights.

Like the past years, I am taking a little – longer – creative break from ToyTorture.com, gather review experience and maybe find some interesting review samples. I will probably be back when the  crocus start to blossom or maybe a bit later. In the meantime, enjoy the naughty (and trivial) stuff I post on my Twitter account. Of course, my inboxes on ALL the plattforms are still open for questions, suggesstions or rants. See you all in the new decade!

Saw

Toy Properties

Form: Prostate Stimulator
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Almost whatever you can imagine
Firmness: Medium to Very Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Organotoy

I pondered if I and if yes how I should review this toy. So as a little Christmas Special, here’s a review or more an experience report straight out of my cabinet of curiosities…

Detail of the Saw’s Grip

Sometimes toys come my way the most unlikely ways. Sometimes I come across toys where I think “What the fuck?!”  And sometimes both things happen at the same time. This is the story of my Organotoy Saw.

Some moons ago, I received an unexpected parcel in my mailbox. It was from a dear friend. In the enclosed letter she explained that she used this toy to humiliate and milk her chaste ex. After ritually cleansing the toy with bleach, she still did not want it around her so she sent it my way.  And now I am stuck with a massive chunk of bright pink piece of top notch silicone in my playroom. Since I know a lot of you pervs are into chastity, maybe this little report of my experience will help you with your prostate health.

Construction

First things first: My pictures do not do the color justice. My Saw is pink. Bright pink. Some might even call it Barbie pink. Great if you are into humiliation, feminization or a fan of the works of Tracey Emin (Yes, legal sex is indeed anal!), but if you look for homomasculinity in BDSM this toy is… particular. Or among my mostly black and graphite SquarePeg toys literally the big pink elefant in the middle of the room… ehm… toy rack. Luckily you are not limited to pink when ordering this toy. Organo toy will make it in almost every color or pattern for you. You can even add an airbrushed dedication.

The Organotoy Large Saw – in Bright Pink

The Saw is one of those toys which name already implies the shape. The body is roughly shaped like a saw blade with smooth and rounded yet teeth like bumps on the bottom of the body. The blade’s width gradually increases while the depth almost stays the same. This way the sensation is focused on the pressure on the prostate and not on the stretch sensation. To ensure this the Saw come in three sizes: Son of Saw with a maximum diameter of 50mm, the Saw M with a max. stretch of 73mm and the Saw L with 100mm. Luckily her ex was also into fisthing so my Saw is a large one. The Saw comes in two base varieties: The standard Saw has a large, chunky grip which makes the toy look a bit like a jack saw but also well manageable with lubey hands (I wonder how her gracile hands grabbed the massive handle…). There is also a Trainer version out there with a big, solid base if you want to ride your Saw on your own.

The Saw is cast using a mould which leads to a seam running around the middle of the toy. It is evened out using a diamond polisher but you can still feel it a bit. Call it added torture, especially in the firmer degrees. Speaking of firmness: While in theory you can order this toy in every firmness Organotoy makes (and they make every between wobbly Shore 00-30 up to vinyl-like A30), I guess the Saw only makes sense from Shore A15 upwards because you need the firmness to keep the pressure focused on the prostate. Mine is Shore A30, the firmest silicone they make, and despite the seam and the amount of poppers needed to take the toy without warm-up (which I would not recommend doing! Some pre-stretching should be done!) it is the perfect toy for prostate stimulation.

Detail of the Saw’s Teeth

Playing with the Saw

Prostate stimulation is the right segway into this segment. The Saw is a toy purely made for prostate stimulation. The firmness in combination with the soft yet prominent bumps apply the right amount of pressure onto the prostate to facilitate semen release. Unlike the stereotype perpetuated in Road Trip expelling cum through prostate stimulation is nothing that – at first – happens quickly and is not as orgastic as shown in the clip. It takes practice to give in into the stimulation, process it and release the cum. So do not expect too much out of the box but just keep practicing. I sent my Saw to a chastity top to try on some of his subs and he was amazed how well, reliable and quickly the toy worked after they got used to it. For those not output-driven, the Saw is a devilish toy for prostate torment.

For other things, it is not really made. Through the oval profile, it stretches the sphincter unevenly and thus is not really made for girth training. I guess there is an academic scenario in which you could wear the Trainer models for extended periods of time but… never mind.

Where to buy?

Oragnotoy only sells through their website which frankly is also the only logical way to get their toys due to the degree of customization. I guess they have some Saws in stock in standard colors and HARD firmness if you are locked up and need release QUICKLY. But the real fun is in having an individual toy crafted to your desires. The Saws start at 55.96€ for the Medium Trainer and go up all the way to a large one for 99.96€. But considering what a custom chastity device costs, this is just a small investment for a necessary accessory and a fun toy for the top to tease the desperate sub.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer III – Army of Men Leather Jock

The Army of Men Plain Leather Jockstrap

Sometimes, events impact the course of the ToyTorture in unexpected ways. Ever since ToyTorture.com gained some noticeable following some five years ago, I got a constant stream of questions about where to buy gear. I always refused to review gear. Design and styles are too individual and gear is too expensive to buy it in large quantities from different manufactures to have some scope and get enough knowledge to judge quality. Finally, I am too little of a gear head to justify large amounts of gear getting dusty in my wardrobe. But the messages did not stop so last fall I started to draft the concept for a gear format on Tumblr (for several legal reasons I could not run it on my own website being hosted in Germany). It should be short and snappy and tell my subjective thoughts why I like this particular piece of gear from my closet. The first product which was to be featured in the beginning of 2019 was to be the Army of Men Leather Jock – and then the Tumblr porn ban happened. So for legal reasons with pics from the manufacturer here is the only ever ToyTorture’s Gear Glance to be published.

For a long time I have been looking for a leather jockstrap because I have very particular requirements for one. First: All leather. Most jockstraps on the market have a leather pouch and an elastic waistband. But if I wear leather, I want ALL leather. Second: Accessibility. If you can find an all leather jockstrap, the cup is usually sewn onto the waistband and the ass straps, making the dick inaccessible. Third: Looking good on its own. If I feel like wearing the jockstrap without anything else, it has to stand out for itself.

Detail of the Framework of the Army of Men Leather Jockstrap

To my surprise, there were two options available on eBay. I tried one and well… questionable leather source, probably Chrome-6 polluted, cardboard like leather. Sent it back right away! And then I stumbled across the small Australian leather manufacturer Army of Men and hit the jackpot!

Obviously the jockstrap is all leather. And what a leather it is! Despite being made out of thick hide with a beautiful subtle grain and lined with gentler leather, the entire jockstrap is soft and smooth. You can feel the quality and liveliness of the leather. And smell it. The hides have been so subtly dyed that most of the original leather smell has been preserved. As a bottom, I would gladly sniff the cup of this jockstrap. The attention to quality and detail does not stop at the leather. The metal trim can either be ordered in plain stainless steel or black metal trim for either a classical contrast or modern all black look.

Example of a Two-Tone Jockstrap with a Harness Codpiece

The Army of Men Jock easily meets accessibility criteria with its codpiece cup. The big advantage of this cup it that is comes in two sizes. As a guy with low-hangers who also likes cockrings and ballstretchers, all codpieces of my rubber gear can just contain my junk by itself. As soon as I add any CB gear, I cannot close the lower stud anymore. The large size of this codpiece can contain my junk, a cockring and a small ballstretcher so it should be able to handle even better endowed guys like me.

The codpiece is also a good transition to my last requirement. While the waistband and cheek straps are mostly hidden by the chaps, most attention it paid to the cup of a jockstrap. And with Army of Men you have more options on codpieces than you thought you would ever need. Starting with plain colored ones in seven different colors plus two metallic ones, their signature look is a little black crossbow harness across the codpiece also available in different base colors. For a plain, two color look you can choose between a chevron or tiger stripes either as black on primary colors or neoprene colors on black. I currently have to codpieces (an all black harness and a red chevron) but the urge to get more codpieces to coordinate with different styles and colors of gear is strong…

Different Codpiece Styles

Besides the extravagant codpieces, the Army of Men jockstrap finds the right balance between sophisticated design with their O-rings connection the codpiece front with the adjustable waistband and sleekness with hiding the adjustability with a few snap buttons. It has a little rough,steampunky look without being too flashy. Since the waistband attaches to the front with snap buttons on both sides, you can easily replace it, if your body type chances a bit or throw in a different colored waistband if you want to add a bit more of color. Finally from a practical point of view, I like the O-rings at the front because I can clip my some of my harnesses, leather suspenders or Sam Brownes into them. Throw on a pair of boots and maybe a leather vest and despite almost being naked, you have a complete, all leather look to rock. And that’s one of the main reasons I love my Army of Men jockstrap so much!

The plain all leather jockstrap starts at $245 AUD and at $267 AUD for a two color version with an elaborate codpiece. Speaking of codpieces, they range between $70 AUD and $85 AUD. But I warn you: If you start buying a second one, you will most likely not stop there!

Organotoy Egg

Toy Properties

Form: Insertable
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Almost whatever you can imagine
Firmness: Soft to Very Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Organotoy

This review was another community request review. You would wonder how many questions I get each week asking for a review of a silicone egg. And I wonder where all these questions come from (Yes, I am looking at you, furry community!). Because: What can be so particular about a silicone egg?

Construction

Well… about the actual design of this toy, there is not really much to say. It has the shape of an egg, a goose egg to be precise because it has a rounded bottom and an elongated top. This makes it very easy to insert compared to the “duller” shape of chicken egg.

As an extra feature you can order the egg with a retention chain or rope. I would recommend this for all sizes which are on the edge of what you can take diameter-wise. Usually the rule of anal play is “Everything that goes in will come out eventually” but a toy getting lost inside and REALLY have to push to get it out can be annoying. I would leave this for toy at least 1cm less in diameter than you can comfortably take and the other should have a lead to be pulled out just in case. They x-ray every toy to make sure that the lead sits tight and secure and is completely encased by silicone without any bubbles. When I first posted pics of my XL and XXL Eggs with a chain, I got messaged asking if it was secure. For testing, I threw the Eggs like Bolas through my playroom and did not notice any damage to the silicone. This is probably more force than any unwilling sphincter will ever wield. Though when you need more than a medium tuck to get the Egg out, I recommend seeing a doctor in order not to damage the sphincter when pulling the toy out.

The Organotoy Eggs from Small to XXL

The Egg is cast using a mould which leads to a seam running in slightly off the middle from top to bottom. This seam is evened using a diamond polisher but if you choose one of the harder firmnesses still noticeable. Another imperfection of the casting process is the “navel” at the bottom where the silicone is entering the mould.

Speaking of firmnesses, Organotoy is the only toy manufacturer I know who let’s your freely choose your toys firmness. The range starts at Shore 00-30 which could almost be called plushy soft over A2 to A10 which covers the firmness range of most other silicone toy manufacturer up to A30 which is firm as vinyl or rubber. These firmnesses can be combined freely so you could have a solid core egg with a firm “shell”. Colorwise you can get almost whatever you can imagine. Besides the standard solid colors, glow in the darks and patterns like marbles, split or fade they employ a former Hollywood SFX makeup artist for custom airbrush design (or even custom toy designs if the Egg is not what you are looking for). The silicone used to create all Organotoy creations is ISO 10993-10 certified platinum silicone which meets the highest standards of body and allergy safety. Naturally these toys are easy to clean with hot dish soap water and sanitizer for uncomplicated yet safe fun with several different partners. Though being made out of silicone lube-wise you should stick to water- and oil-based lubes. The silicone oil inside silicone lube will damage the toy!

The Egg comes in 6 sizes starting at S which is still a bit of a challenge for a complete novice up to XXXL for which even in my Little Black Book of Perverts I still have not found a person who would dare to try it (and THB, I even did not get an XXXL because it would just be a playroom ornament).

Size Max. Diameter Length
S 50mm 75mm
M 70mm 95mm
L 80mm 115mm
XL 90mm 140mm
XXL 102mm 160mm
XXXL 113mm 170mm

Detail of the Seam Running Across the Medium Egg

Playing with the Egg

Usually this the easy part to write because my testees and I had loads of different experience with a toy. We actually had very much fun with the eggs (well… mostly with the L and the XL) but… The Egg is a bit of a one trick pony.

After lubing it up, point one of the ends at the sphincter and gently push in. We actually tried to push in the wide side but even on a loose hole the egg will twist towards one of the ends. Due to smooth taper of the top side, it opens up the anus gently. Especially in softer versions with the retention cord this makes it an interesting toy for aspiring novices who want to train their sphincter to relax more easily. Once inside, the muscle can close and relax completely until it needs to open up again to release the toy with the tugging on the cord. Since the egg’s bottom is duller than the tip, it takes a bit of effort to get the toy out but for most (aspiring) fistees this is part of the fun. If you are more experienced, I recommend getting a firmer (and larger) egg. Either wear this when walking out and about, feeling it bounce inside your rectum, or pull with (relative) quickness the egg out of your bowels. It will press against the prostate for an intense stimulation. One of my testees used my (soft) XL Egg to milk his chastity slave. It takes a bit of practice but some of my testees managed to achieve anal orgasms playing throw and catch with the eggs.

Detail of the Chain Cast into the Bottom of the XL Egg

As already said “Everything that goes inside the ass will come out” so there is also much fun to be had with Eggs without a lead.

First things first for my furry followers: Yes, you can get an Egg in egg shell color and push it out like laying an egg. This process can be as intense and exhausting as for birds because of course once inside the rectum the egg does not align perfectly to be pushed out but your muscles have to work to push it in the right direction. Of course, you can also retrieve the eggs manually – depending on your hand size up to size L. The firmer the Egg, the less they it be compressed, making the hand feel way bigger for an intense stretch. The size M Egg actually replaced my billiard balls for this kind of play. And since even Shore A30 silicone is still softer than plastic, there won’t be a problem when one Egg gets lost inside your colon and you recover it sitting down at the toilet.

The smaller sizes of the Egg are also a fun item for rectum stuffing. We managed to get the S, M and one of the two L Eggs inside one greedy bottom. He said, he never felt so stuffed. Pushing out was a challenge of its own because each muscle contraction shifted the remaining Eggs inside him, stimulating the prostate, the anus and the rectum’s mucosa. He described the experience as “somewhere between torture and bliss.” Unlike round balls like billiard or boules balls, the Eggs “wedge” a bit so the changes are lower that they will pass beyond the second sphincter. From a medical point of view, this is not dangerous most of the times but just difficult and unpleasant to retrieve. So every toy staying inside the rectum is a good feature.

Detail of the „Navel“ at the Bottom of the Large Egg

Something a read wrote in upon seeing my pics of the Egg was stuffing the rectum with several small Eggs and then getting fucked. The shifting and twisting of the Eggs inside while the anus is stimulated with penetration was described as “intense”. He used four small and very soft Eggs for this which sounds reasonable. A dick pounding against firm ones does not sound fun. But since I only have one small Egg which though luckily happens to be soft, I could not recreate this scenario so I have to take his word for it. Also, for depth trained people there is a higher chance of an Egg getting literally fucked up into your colon – which then can lead to a fun manual retrieving scene.

Where to buy?

Oragnotoy only sells through their website which frankly is also the only logical way to get their toys. They usually do not have a stock of toys but craft ever toy according to your order. The different sizes, colors, firmnesses and features simply ask for an individual order. The Eggs start at a very reasonable 7.96€ for the smallest size and go up to 74.96€ for the XXXL. Different firmnesses, adding a retention lead or elaborate color combinations can be added for a small extra surcharge between 5€ und 15€ each.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer II – Paddle Daddy Toys

Paddel Daddy Bubinga Rubber Thread Paddle

When I started ToyTorture.com over seven years ago, I wanted to show the world that there are many other small shops, brands and manufacturers out there than just the big boys everybody thinks about when they hear “kink toys”. These small businesses which do not need to rely on scale effects are often driving the development of new toys through their creativity and niche customer base. One of these stores is Paddle Daddy.

I met the owner and founder Al at my first Inferno in 2014. Back then I was a student and could not afford any his great toys – an error I corrected three years later and the two toys I have bought back then are still some my favorite impact implements. When I reached out to Al after this year’s Inferno to order a toy which was no longer on his website, I learned that he is about to retire in a couple of months. So if he can’t find somebody to take over his business, some time in 2020 the last ever Paddle Daddy toys will be made.

Paddle Daddy Bubinga Handle Leather Strap

Over the course of the five years since I have been introduced to his toys, I have experienced many of his toys – mostly as a sub but some as a top. The quality it top notch, the design superior. You can really tell that they have been created and crafted by a person who really understands the ergonomics of impact play. Usually on the severe end of the sensation range, a skilled impact top can still elicit a wide range from thud to sting from most of them. So I urge every impact aficionado to add one of these great toys to their collection while they are still out there. Paddle Daddy is most known for his wooden toys, but if like it heavy, the unbreakable bulletproof ones should catch your eye.

He has stopped selling directly years ago, but you can find his products at some well-assorted BDSM stores like Clonezone in the UK.

Centaur, Plumber & BFG

Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors:
Sokatik Natural Tan, Deep Brown and Black
Custom colors possible
Firmness: Soft to Medium, custom degrees possible
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Mr Hankey’s

The Mr Hankey Plumber, BFG and Centaur

Construction

The Centaur is probably one of the kinds of anal toys I get asked most about: What is a good horse dick to train depth? I do not why people are so interested in that but I am here not to judge but to quench your horny thirst for answers. If the Centaur is THE best, I cannot tell. It is certainly the most realistic on the market. It starts out with a dome-shaped glans that allows for a slow and soft opening of the first and the second sphincter. The glans rim is textured with little bumps. The heavily though not deeply textured shaft then very gradually and softly increase in diameter until it reaches the preputial ring. That is a sudden increase in depth, 2/3 down the shaft which adds a lot of girth until it ends at a round, solid base.

Detail of Centaur’s Glans

The Plumber sits on the complete opposite of the toy length spectrum. It starts out with a large and massive natural cut glans. Below the glans rim is a massive, only slightly sloped drop. What follows is a short, almost cylindrical, slightly concave shaft that is textured with wide and thus soft yet deep ridges. At the end, there is again a round, solid base.

The third of the reviewed toys could almost be the synthesis of the previous two. The BFG’s tip is a nicely tapered almost realistic glans with bumps all around the rim. Starting from the frenulum are soft and size increasing scales running all the way down to the base. On the other side of the shaft are soft, flowing bumps. For the increase in diameter make three big bulges on the sides, the last one large and round enough to be considered an anthropomorphic knot, flanked by a cluster of bumps on each side. Below that knot there is only a short resting space until the toys flows into a round base.

Toy Size Diameter Glans Rim Diameter Shaft Middle Diameter Above Base/ at Knot Insertable Length
Centaur Small 44mm 47mm 69mm 248mm
Medium 53mm 55mm 77mm 279mm
Large 61mm 63mm 85mm 324mm
XXL 71mm 73mm 103mm 375mm
Plumber Small 57mm 55mm 53mm 127mm
Medium/Large 77mm 76mm 75mm 175mm
Large XL 105mm 101mm 99mm 226mm
BFG Medium 49mm 63mm 81mm 254mm
Large 53mm 67mm 85mm 279mm
XL 59mm 71mm 97mm 305mm
XXL 63mm 79mm 103mm 330mm

Detail of the Cenatur’s Vac-U-Hole

Mr Hankey manufactures all their toys out of high quality platinum silicone. Platinum silicone is a premium, more expensive material than other kinds of silicone which for example use tin as a catalyst to cure the silicone. This means all Mr Hankey toys are 100% body safe, highly resistant towards acid and heat and with the super-smooth surface leave little possibilities for bacteria to linger and are easy to clean. I usually put my toys in hot water with dish soap and sanitize them afterwards for good measure. This is a quick and easy way to get the toys clean and sterile again between partners at a play party. But you can also throw them in the dishwasher or autoclave them. In order to keep the surface in this condition, never use silicone based or hybrid lube with silicone toys because they will disintegrate the surface. Water and oil based lube are safe to be used with silicone toys.

Silicone is a material that can be colored easily and which color does not fade over time. As standard colors Mr Hankey’s only offers their dildos in black, natural tan or deep brown. However, for $29.95 you can get custom coloring, mostly duo-tone fades like I got on the Cenataur and BFG but other designs are possible. It is a bit of an investment but since these toys are cheap, I recommend customizing them for this small fee because they turn out gorgeous and make your toy a bit of your own! If you need inspiration, browse Mr Hankey’s Twitter feed.

Detail of BFG’s Bumps & Bulges

Firmness-wise you also get only two choice. First there is Medium which is a bit firmer, about the firmness of a rock-hard dick. If you are a texture junkie like me, you definitely want to go this way because it makes every ridge and vein very noticeable! BUT for depth it can be too firm since it also impacts the bendiness. Because of that for larger sizes of the Centaur and the BFG I recommend their 75% firmness which is a bit softer. Mr Hankey’s Toys does offer custom firmness if you want the toys smoother or firmer. I have not tried that service but I would only recommend it for their fantasy toys. For only $4.95 a Vac-U-Loc hole can be added to every toy. Originally designed to attach the toy to fuck machines, there are a number of nifty accessories out there for this kind of system: Handles, Strap-On harnesses, suction cups and double-dildo connectors. Because of this I highly recommend adding this inexpensive feature to your toy. There are just too many useful scenarios along the way to go cheap on this one.

Detail of Plumber’s Large Glans Rim Drop

Playing with the Centaur, Plumber and BFG

Trying to answer the question from the beginning of the review: If you are looking for a pure depth training toy, the Centaur is probably not the best option to go to. But is has many characteristics that makes it a great overall toy to explore and train depth. As already written, the glans is perfectly shaped to open up both sphincters. However, the texturing of the rim make taking the second sphincter a more intense experience than it could be. As you get more experienced and relaxed, twisting the Centaur’s head inside one of the sphincters is an intense yet tantalizing experience. The same accounts for riding the shaft: Since there is no untextured space, it takes a lot of lube and some experience riding it. But again, the texture is very subtle and the steady increase in diameter means, as you loosen up and slide down on it, there simulation continues in the same intensity. Expect of course for the preputial ring. This sudden increase in diameter can be a challenge, especially on the larger sizes because you usually focus on processing the intense feelings deep inside your colon and are not prepared to relax you anus so abruptly. However, again, as you train and get used to the toy’s characteristics, the preputial ring becomes a hot feature. Riding up and down the toy, you are alternating stimulating your first sphincter with the preputial ring or the second sphincter with the glans rim.

Detail of the Centaur’s Subtle Texture and Massive Preputial Ring

Speaking of riding the shaft: Handling-wise the Centaur is a good toy for depth play. The length-girth ration in combination with the thick solid base is keeping the toy from collapsing, making it perfect for riding and inserting it in a controlled manner.

If you try to apply the Centaur’s question to the Plumber, the answer is: Hell no! It is not a toy for the novice. While the realistic glans opens you up somewhat softly, if your hole is not used to opening up and release a plug, taking the Plumber out will the a ripping experience! The same accounts for riding the shaft. While the ridges are flowing and soft, especially in medium the are stimulating the many nerve endings inside the anus HARD. So it is definitely a toy for the experienced, loose and greedy hole which needs a challenge and rough treatment at the end of a fisting scene.

Detail of Plumber’s heavily Textured Shaft

As already written in the construction section, the BFG is the synthesis of both toys: Easy to insert, hard to master. I have gotten my Medium/ Large in Medium firmness which might has been a mistake. Yes, feeling the firmness of the bumps and ridges massage the sphincter as you slide down on the shaft, is very horny and intense. But through the heavily convex shape, the rigidity of the material makes it a bit hard to find the way towards the second sphincter. Though once inside, the deep yet not too complex texture and shape makes it a joy to ride. Unlike other fantasy toys, you are not overwhelmed with texture but can enjoy each and every bit separately. While the increase in diameter of each of the major bulges on the shaft’s side somewhat prepare you for the stretch of the following one, due to the texture it is not a training or warm-up toy! If you want to indulge into the BFG completely, I recommend preparing and relaxing your hole with toys that go a little deeper and stretch a little wider than the BFG you have chosen. Then this great toy can unleash its full potential.

Detail of BFG’s Textured Glans

Where to buy?

Mr Hankey sells their toys directly through their website. This is the best way to get them when you want to customize them even further. They also run promotions on a regular basis so check their page regular to snatch a bargain. Depending on the size and features, the Centaur costs between $124.95 and $164.90, the Plumber between $109.95 and $174.90 and finally the BFG between $149.95 and $184.90. Custom colors costs $29.95, custom firmness $15.95.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer I – Topped Toys Spike

The Topped Toys Spike 105 in their Signature Forge Red color and Steel Blue

It is the first Advent Sunday which means each Sunday until Christmas I will give you some stocking stuffer tips  I would love to get my stockings – or in this case ass – stuffed with.

In today’s review I talked about textured depth toys which I really enjoyed. A few weeks ago I reviewed my first toys from Topped Toys and loved them. What would happen if the two things would be combined? Well, the Topped Toys Spike would happen! Made out of high quality and soft platinum silicone, this is one of the most intense depth toys I have seen so for. One side of toy has deep bumps, almost like a saw – or a graphic Christmas tree. The other side has gentle bumps. So depending on the orientation the prostate gets gently stimulated or heavily tormented. And I cannot imagine what happens when the Spike penetrates the second sphincter!

If you are a bit too hesitant if such a heavily textured toy with a maximum diameter of 84mm and an insertable length of 355mm might be a bit too extreme for you, Topped Toys introduce a small brother to the original Spike 105 a couple of weeks ago: The Spike 70. With an insertable length of 241mm, a maximum diameter of 56mm and just the bumps on one side it is the perfect toy for the more careful and inexperienced anal play.

The Spike 70 on top of the Spike 105

The Spike 105 costs 133€ while the Spike 70 retails for 65€ at Topped Toys‘ website. But a little birdie told me that they are looking to expand their retail network so they great ass tools might be coming to a perverted store near you soon. So you can check out in person if the Spike 70 is enough or you are feeling ambitious for the Spike 105.

P.S.:
As a friend once told me: Don’t buy the toys for the hole that you have but for the hole that you want… 😉

SquarePeg Thick Worm & Thick Stamen

Form: Textured Depth Toys
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Graphite, Bronze & Black
Firmness: Soft
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: SquarePeg (USA), Mr S (USA) & Regulation (EU)

Construction

These are the first explicit depth toys in this Anal Toy Special, so naturally the Thick Worm and the Thick Stamen are on the longer side of toy design. Both have a usable length of 350mm. This enough to stimulate the second hole and penetrate it, yet with a little bit of practice both toys can be taken completely without much challenge. These are the only similarities the two toys have.

The Thick Worm starts out with a triangular head which makes pushing it in quite easy. The head is 55mm tall and smooth and tapers from 25mm to 42mm.

The SquarePeg Thick Stamen & Thick Worm

Below the head there is a 3mm drop. Over the length of 19mm the diameter increases again until there is another 3mm drop. These “scales” are very lightly textured with very shallow vertical grooves. With each scale the edge length of the triangular toy body increases a bit, slightly increasing the diameter up to 65mm at the last scale. The toy then flows into an oval base. The base can be equipped with two extra features: Either a suction cup which a friend who has one on his Thick Worm says is too weak to hold such a long and heavy toy or the SquarePegHole. This hole is a universal adaptor for the various fuck machine adapter standards. There is also a market out there for stand-alone accessories like suction cups or handles. So in my opinion you are better off and more versatile with the SquarePegHole.

The Stick Stamen on the other hand starts out with a round, long head that tapers over 72mm from 30mm to 56mm. After the maximum stretch, there is a smooth decrease in diameter by 5mm after which then to starts to expand again. This repeats 4 times until at the last of the 5 cones the maximum diameter reaches 71mm. Between this cone and the quadratic base is 52mm thick neck for resting when you have taken the entire toy.

Detail of the Thick Worm’s Triangular Head

As the name of both toys already implies, there are shorter and thinner versions of both toys available.

As in this review of heavy depth toys, I am surprised that SquarePeg offer these toys not only in their signature Supersoft Bronze which I have bought and the Supersoft Graphite but also in Firm Black. From the sensation side I can understand why they offer these toys in Firm Black because especially on a loose hole, they will feel more intense. But since firmness also compromises bendiness, I am not sure if these toys could work in that material (though, as an texture junkie, I am very intrigued to find out!). If you have any of those two toys in Firm Black, please let me know how they feel and work.

Detail of the Softly Tapering Cones along Thick Stamen’s Shaft

All three color options are made out of Platinum Silicone. Unlike other silicone types which are cured with lead for example, it is 100% body-safe, hypo-allergenic and easy to clean. Simply soak in warm dish-soap water, use the dishwasher or autoclave them after washing off the lube. For extra care, sanitize them to be 100% sure.

Like all silicone toys, these two should never be used with silicone lube since the silicone oil in the lube harms the surface and can destroy the toy. Water- and oil-based lubes are safe to use with both toys. Since different plasticizers can also destroy the silicone, they should be stored together with vinyl or rubber toys. If they have to be stored together, the place should be well ventilated and the different materials should not touch.

Detail of the Scales Texturing Thick Worm’s Shaft

Playing with the Thick Worm & Thick Stamen

Being relatively thick right from the top and not too long, both toys – unlike other depth toys – are easy to handle. With light pressure the tip pops in and then keeps the toy upright when riding it. The body does not bend too much under pressure so it is a good toy for selfplay when you start to explore depth – sadly unlike the Slinks which are way harder to get in and control when you are inexperienced. Despite both shafts being bendy, they are rigid enough to be navigated, find their way inside the hole and go deep, again unlike the Slinks which tend to curl up inside the rectum when you are inexperienced.

Sensation-wise both toys are quite different and it is hard to tell which of the two the “softer” one is. The Thick Worm’s vertical grooves help to catch the lube, making it a toy for a bit longer ride. The subtle drop after each scale intensifies the friction sensation all ass toys create inside the sphincter during fucking. This makes the Thick Worm’s sensation a controllable simply through the speed it goes in and out of the hole. The triangular shape creates an unusual and surprising sensation when turned inside the hole and especially the second sphincter. Some of my testees and me found that the triangular head made it a bit easier for the toy to navigate inside the rectum and penetrate the second sphincter because there is a sense of direction.

Detail of the Thick Stamen’s Cone-Shaped Head

With the Thick Stamen however the sensation is quite different. Through the chain of cones, the stretch sensation is very prominent, especially at the second sphincter. Riding or fucking with the Tick Stamen is a serious of “pop” sensations which’s intensity can be controlled by the speed. Since there is not drop like on the Thick Worm but a steep yet soft slope, in slow motion the sphincter can gradually adjust to the change in diameter. Due to the neck, the Thick Stamen can be worn while moving around. It is an interesting sensation when the cones move inside the rectum and colon, massaging both sphincters. But the quadratic base, does not really fit well between the cheeks. One testee uses a rope harness to keep both toys in place because the Thick Worm’s body flows directly into an oval base which kind of fit between the ass cheeks despite being wide.

The Oval Base of the Thick Worm compared to the Thick Stamen’s Quadratic Base

Where to buy?

If you are living in the Americas, there are two options got these toys. If you want the full range of colors and options, go to SquarePeg directly to get the Thick Worm for $169.95 or the Thick Stamen for $179.95. If you are in San Francisco and can’t wait Mr S Leather carries Thick Wormin Bronze and the Thick Stamen in Graphite. As a European, I get my SquarePeg toys from Regulation which sell the Thick Worm for £189 and the Thick Stamen for £179.